Page 21 of The Lies We Believe

I tipped my head back on the couch and sighed as it sunk into the soft cushion, allowing my eyes to fall shut. My head pounded like my skull was too small for the maelstrom that was brewing inside it. I pinched the pressure point on my nose, trying to alleviate the pulsing ache. “So what can I do? How can I help him?”

“Be there for him. Respect his boundaries and give him time.”

“That’s it? But what about the case? I’m getting pressure from my boss because I haven’t been able to provide any new leads or intel to him.”

“What’s more important right now?”

I wanted to say River. I couldn’t handle seeing the desolation that churned in his eyes, or the ghosts that seemed to pass across them like shadows. Joelle was right. I didn’t know what he’d been through, not really. I could assume so many things, but without him feeling comfortable enough to tell me, pushing him might do more harm than good. And the last thing I wanted to do was cause him more pain or make him feel like he was an obligation.

“I should say my job.”

“The work you do is very important, even if it can feel like a thankless task most days.”

I snorted. She wasn’t wrong there. “But there’s something about River. There always has been something that filled me with this irrational need to take care of him. To protect him, and…” My words died on my tongue when I realized what I was about to say. Love him.

“You are an amazing individual, Jacob. You’re led by your heart and want to fix everything for everyone, but you can’t. Just be there. Be open and calm when he’s ready to let you in.”

“Okay, that… that I can do. I think.”

“I know you can, Jacob. He’s lucky to have you in his corner.” I could hear the smile in her voice. “That’s all I’ve got time for now, as my next client is about to arrive.”

“Thank you, Joelle.”

“It’s my pleasure, Jacob. Just remember what I’ve said, okay? If you push him, he will react. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. If you push him too hard, too fast, he will either shut you out completely, or run.”

“I don’t want to lose him.” I coughed, attempting to hide the way my voice broke. “I mean, I don’t want him to lose this chance at a new life.”

“I know what you meant, Jacob. Take care.”

Joelle ended the call, and the silence felt even more suffocating than it had before. I had to find a way to reach River before he closed himself off from me and I lost my chance to help him or the case. I pulled up the one-sided message thread I had going with River. He’d read each one, but hadn’t responded to any of them.

If you have any questions about the phone or TV, let me know. I thought this would be easier than writing on scraps of paper for you.

Did you sleep okay?

Did you like the extra things I got you?

Just making some breakfast. Did you want anything?

Fancy anything for lunch?

Riv, talk to me? I just want to be here for you, but I can’t if you don’t reply.

Would you like takeout?

What desserts do you like?

Or candy?

I’m just watching a movie called The Old Guard. Do you want to watch it with me?

River?

Let me know you’re okay.

River, I keep knocking, but you won’t come to the door.

You can’t stay in there forever! Talk to me.

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