Page 17 of A Heart of Bluestone

I was never isolated before that moment. Never shoved by Dray, or even taunted.

I was Dray’s favourite.

He was mine.

We stole kisses in the gardens of his estate, he gave me flowers on sunny days, watched me all the time, blushed once when I tugged on his hair, and always let me win our games of chase.

Dray liked me.

Now, he ostracised me.

Publicly.

There was no question about that moment, what it meant, that it happened in the queue full of academy students.

The frown my brother wore was one of reassessment.

Then he turned his back on me.

The others followed.

Dray, too.

I remember sitting on that snow for too long, and the bottom of my leggings were soaked by the time I got to my feet. I dragged myself to the end of the queue, stopping every other moment to look back at them, as though they would laugh and tell me I was silly and call me over to them.

That never happened.

I went to the end of the queue.

That is where I met Courtney and James.

And it’s been that way ever since.

I swallow down a thickness in my throat.

It’s only when I blink, and a blur keeps to my vision, that I realise I am weeping. Silent tears, gathered on my lashes, the heat of one on my cheek.

I turn my cheek to my shoulder and shrug the tear away.

Neither Courtney nor James notice.

James, too consumed by the sketchbook balanced on his lap.

Courtney, finishing off texts on her cell, the last ones she’ll be able to send for a while, since Bluestone’s condensed magic interferes too much with the devices.

I look out the window and see that Bluestone is drawing near. Just some minutes, and we will disembark the gondola.

And I spent the half-hour ride thinking about Dray, like I have nothing better to do with my time than waste it all on him.

The wretched humour of it isn’t lost on me. I spend my time in the gondola thinking about him, but Dray probably never throws a thought my way when I’m not right there in his face.

There’s of course no introduction to the academy once past first year, so it’s straight to the mess hall or the dorms, depending on how hungry one is.

I am famished.

Too ill in the gut this morning to eat more than a nibble of toast and I thought I was going to sick that up onto my plate. I also didn’t have dinner the night before.

My stomach is paying for that now. I am half-suspicious that it’s started to eat itself.

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