Page 35 of Loving Her

Jane Siberry’s voice intertwined sweetly with k.d. lang’s overhead while Sasha walked out of the kitchen and into the Lounge. The dance floor, instead of being dark as it should be after close, was gently illuminated by the warm twinkling lights running around the second-floor mezzanine.

And as the gentle, swelling piano ofCalling All Angelscontinued to fill the room, she saw Ruby standing in the middle of the parquet dance floor. Barefoot, in a long black spaghetti strap dress, her red hair tumbled down her shoulders and her blue eyes apprehensively hopeful behind her glasses. Her mouth was curved in a slight, tentative smile.

When Sasha didn’t—couldn’t—move further from the kitchen door, the smile faltered, and Ruby bit her bottom lip. There was a vulnerability in the small, nervous gesture, a window that reminded Sasha that Ruby, too, could be hurt as badly as Sasha herself could be. That Ruby, too, yearned for loveand romance, and that they shared the same awe and fear of possibly getting it.

Understanding broke through her paralyzing fear of rejection, and Sasha rushed forward, heedless of the fact that she looked and smelled like she’d just spent all day in a hot, busy kitchen. She scooped Ruby up in a hug, relishing the relieved giggles that began to burble from Ruby’s lips as she squeezed Sasha back.

They stood in that tight embrace, swaying slightly while the music floated around them. Ruby smelled like flowers, she was a warm, trembling bundle in Sasha’s arms, and everything felt right with the world again, like she’d just slipped the last three pieces of a puzzle into place.

“Oh, this feelsright,” Ruby breathed, nuzzling Sasha’s neck. “How did I miss it before?” She pulled back and cupped Sasha’s face in her hands. “Sash, I’m sorry. So, so sorry I made such a mess of things. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I hate that I did.”

“Ruby…” She didn’t know what to say.

“No, wait.” Stepping back, Ruby let her hands trail down from Sasha’s face, along her arms, until their hands met and she intertwined their fingers. “I should have talked to you. We were friends—I owed you a talk, not just dragging you into bed.”

“Do you regret…” Sasha began to whisper, unsure she wanted the answer.

“No! No, please, Sash, let me talk, I’m terrible at it, but just let me get to the point.” Ruby took a deep breath. “The second I started to suspect that maybe there were feelings there, I should have asked you. But it was just so good the night of the party, and then there was that one day on your motorcycle…”

That got her attention. “What about that day on my motorcycle?”

Ruby blushed a pretty rosy pink. “Another time. Just… I wanted to be with you. Fully. So, I went for it, and I enjoyed it,and I wanted more of it. I knew the whole time we should have a talk, though. I was pretty sure we weren’t on the same page. But we were in such a nice bubble…”

“It was a nice bubble.” Sasha smiled at the warm, sexy, cuddly memories.

“I was wrong. I handled it wrong, and I shouldn’t have blown up at you. Sash, I’m so sorry I hurt you.” She touched Sasha’s face with gentle fingers. “I don’t ever want to hurt you again. You are my best friend in the whole world, and I love you.”

Being called abest friendtook some of the wind out of Sasha’s gradually reinflating emotional sails. “Best friend.”

“No, no no no no no.” Ruby grabbed her hands again. “We need to get you therapy, I’m worried about the things you focus on. Youaremy best friend. But if I’ve learned anything this week besides that hurting you is theworstfeeling in the world, it’s that I do love you as my best friend… and more. Iwouldlike us to see what being more is like, the whole nine.” She held up one hand. “Slowly. I want dates, Sash. I’m not going to just jump in and U-Haul us into a full-on relationship, you and me and my little dog too. Court me.”

“I feel like I’ve been courting you for years already,” Sasha pointed out. “You just didn’t know.”

“And now I do. I don’t want to miss another moment of the experience.” She tilted her head and smiled, the sweet, warm smile that had made Sasha fall for her in the first place. “I’m a romantic, Sash. I want the romance that I write so much about. And I want to give you that romance, too.” She stepped back. “That’s why I had Nat and Esme help me set this up. This big movie moment.”

Sasha grinned. “I love this big movie moment. But how did you know to start it all off withCalling All Angels? How did you know that’s my favorite song?”

Ruby’s eyes went wide. “What? I didn’t. It’s one of mine. I was listening to it while I was getting ready and I thought, this sounds like a perfect song for us. For this moment. So, I put it at the top of the playlist.”

Sasha couldn’t help it. She threw her head back and laughed. “Of course. Of course that’s our song, and we didn’t know it. Perfect.”

“Perfect and we didn’t know it,” Ruby said. “That’s just like us.”

And under the gentle lights of the Indigo Lounge, Sasha gathered Ruby into her arms, knowing they were on the same page at long, long last. She put all the love she’d been carrying in her heart for years into a sweet, slow, melting kiss that curled her toes and made Ruby hum happy little noises into her mouth. Their lips danced as their bodies joined closer. Every connection of their bodies felt like fireworks. Ruby had no idea how she missed this for so long, but all that mattered now was the road ahead of them.

Jane Siberry shifted into Julien Baker, melted into Dar Williams, slowly slid into Girl in Red, one exactly perfect moment after another, and Sasha and Ruby held each other as they laughed, kissed, and danced together into the night.

EPILOGUE

Epilogue – Two and a half years later

“Sash? Babe? Can you bring out an extra stack of Solo cups whenever you bring the punch?” Ruby called back over her shoulder. Her attention was otherwise focused on arranging plastic utensils, piles of napkins, and recycled paper plates on the folding table they’d set up in their backyard.

Our backyard.Straightening up, Ruby beamed as she surveyed the wide expanse of brick patio and green grass, hemmed in by a polished maple-wood fence. Winston was frolicking around in the sun as he’d done every day since they had moved into their new home, though today he was accompanied by his favorite stick-thrower, Holly Bloom. Holly’s beach-blonde hair flew around her shoulders as she chased Winston around, hurling sticks ahead of him for him to chase and catch. Nearby, her partner Deborah was setting up a cornhole game and watching the fun Holly and Winston were having, an indulgent smile on her face as she piled little throwable beanbags into a basket.

“Coming through!” Cam Watson emerged from the back door of the little Spanish-style house, a case of beer balanced on each shoulder. She carefully made her way down the porch steps to the patio and stopped next to Ruby. “Where to?”

“That table.” Ruby pointed to another long folding table set up along a side fence. “Sash is going to bring her special rum punch out soon, and I think Esme’s on her way with ice.”

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