Page 33 of Loving Her

“I might even be in the mood for a big, sloppy grilled cheese. With tomato slices. And a bowl of soup—what can I make that takes lots of ingredients?” She began to walk towards the walk-in refrigerator.

Sasha dodged in front of her. “Don’t you dare. I reorganized it yesterday.”

“Then you’d better start talking.” Esme slipped around Sasha and laid a hand on the door handle. “Quickly. My wife is going to come pick me up soon and golly, Sash, she might be hungry too.Usually, we go to the Chinese place but I’m in a cooking mood, now…”

Sasha slumped down on a stool in the corner of the kitchen. “Ugh. Fine. Look, E. It’s nothing. I… read too much into a situation that arose, I made some bad judgment calls. Got my feelings hurt. I’ll get over it.”

Esme spun around to lean against the fridge door, her expression speculative. “And the situation is that you and Ruby slept together without you actually telling her about your feelings, right?”

“Aaaaahhh…” Embarrassment made her squirm, hurt made her shoulders droop further. “Good guess.”

“It wasn’t, actually. Natalie and I have been in cahoots, and Ruby, as you know, doesn’t bottle up her emotions until she explodes.” The gentle teasing smile Esme flashed her took the sting out of the chiding accusation. “You’re both absolutelyterribleat communicating, though. You’re awful at listening, and she’s surprisingly unobservant for a writer.”

Sasha jerked her head up. “Hey now. That’s rich, coming from you. Weren’t you and Nora hooking up for weeks without talking about any feelings at all? Sleeping with the enemy and all that?”

“Do you think I learnednothingfrom the experience?” Esme’s voice was dry and wise. “Oh, buttercup! Life’s much better when you start being honest—with yourself, and others. It was a hard lesson to learn, but a good one. Now, can I be honest with you?”

The very idea made Sasha cringe, but she squared up her shoulders and sat up straight. “Shoot.”

“Good.” Esme pulled up a stool and sat, tossing her long gray braid over her shoulder. “You know, I know, the whole wide world knows now that you’ve loved Ruby for a very long time. But Ruby just figured it out last week, am I right?”

“Yes,” Sasha admitted.

“And she did have to figure it out; you didn’t tell her.” Esme cocked her head. “Would you say that might be something she needs time to come to grips with?”

“She did say that,” Sasha replied slowly. Remembering that day still made her stomach churn, but she had to be fair.

“But you, my big-hearted, all-in friend, you jumped right into couplehood with both feet, am I right? You were half-in already with the fool-the-family charade, so hooking up must have seemed like a green light to you.”

“Well, of course it did!” The words burst out of her, propelled by the unfairness of it all. “We almost hooked up one night, but I hit the brakes, E. I said we needed to talk about it first but we didn’t because…” Her mouth was dry as she remembered. “Because I couldn’t tell her that if we did, itmeantsomething for me. But when we did actually get together, I asked her if she was sure! And she said that she’d brought me back to her house and wasn’t that clear?”

Esme leaned forward and patted her cheek. “But you didn’t actuallytalkabout it.”

“It didn’t feel like we needed to at that point, everything was going so well. We were both happy. I thought we were on the same page after all.” She ran a hand through her hair, frustrated. “E, I swear, we were in sync. We were happy. Why wouldn’t shewantto keep it going once we got back here?”

“Well, maybe she does! But I’m still not hearing where you talked about it, honey.” Grabbing Sasha’s hands, Esme took a deep breath before she went on. “Look, you two were cuddled up in a cozy nest amongst her family, getting swept up in the romance of a wedding—it wasn’t real life. Frankly, as much of a pie-eyed incurable romantic as Ruby is, I’m amazed she had the fortitude to snap out of it and tell you she needed time to think about things.”

Sasha looked down at her feet. “I guess. It still hurts.”

“I can see that whatever she said, itdidhurt you. And I’m sure she feels terrible about it, because Ruby’s not a bad person, and she does care a great deal about you.” Esme squeezed her hands. “I know you, Sasha. I know you feel rejected and hurt and sad, but could you give Ruby a chance to apologize? And maybe you two could actually talk. You’d be surprised at what good, clear communication can do.”

Pulling her hands away, Sasha stood up. “I mean. Maybe. I need another day or two. I have to think about it.”

“Well, all right.” Esme also got to her feet. She glanced at the kitchen doorway. “Nat? You got that? She needs a couple of days.”

“I got it.” The dark-haired barista appeared in the doorway with a friendly smile. “You ready to go pick up some Chinese and I’ll take you home?”

“Wait.” Sasha glanced between the two of them. “I thought it was just us here. I thought Nora was coming to get you.”

“I fibbed.” Esme beamed. “And I told you Natalie and I are in cahoots. You take your two days, Sasha. But just know after that, I’m sending in the big guns.”

“What are the big guns?” Sasha called after them as they sauntered out of the kitchen arm in arm. “E? Hey! What are the big guns?”

“You’ll see,” Esme’s voice floated back into the kitchen.

Declan’s horse thundered through the meadow towards Nicola. Without a second thought, she threw her arm into the air and stumbled to her feet. With a grim look on his face, the fingers of his right hand tangled in the reins, Declan leaned down andwrapped his left arm around her, hauling her off the ground and into his saddle. She had to sit sidesaddle before him and turned to wrap her arms around his waist. Her face, she buried in his chest, breathedin deep to take in the scent of musky sweat, dusty linen, and leather.

They seemed to ride forever and couldn’t talk. Nicola heard only wind rushing, hooves galloping, and Declan’s harsh breathing. She longed to ask him where they were going, how long until they were home, how had he found her?

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