Page 29 of Loving Her

Maybe her brother had been right. Maybe theyshouldhave done more talking the other day. Maybe they should talk now. There was so much more at stake than she’d fully considered when she decided to explore the possibility that Sasha might have feelings for her. She didn’t want to hurt Sasha, not at all, but her feet were definitely starting to feel a little icy. She didn’t want to lose?—

“You look tense, Rubes.” Sasha walked over to the bedroom door and, with a sly smile, twisted the lock in the doorknob. Within seconds, she had Ruby out of the chair and laid out across the bed, breathless. Her hand went right to the button and zip on Ruby’s jeans. “Let me fix that for you real quick, before they call us down for dinner…”

As Sasha’s hand slid under the waistband of her panties and began to play with her clit, everything Ruby was worried about disappeared in a red-tinged fog of desire. Biting her lip, she closed her eyes and gave herself over to the pure erotic pleasure of the moment.

12

“Call me when you land,” Elena instructed, eyes darting between Ruby and Sasha. “I don’t care which one. Hell, both of you call. Just to be sure.”

“We will, Ma.” Ruby hugged her mother tight, blinking back the tears that had been threatening to spill since they started the trek to JFK an hour ago.

“And Sasha, you come back anytime. Bring Ruby with you.” Elena hugged Sasha tight and pulled back to take her face in her hands, beaming with joy. “We’d love to see you again. We really would!”

Dom gathered his younger daughter into his arms and gave her a bear hug. “You don’t come home enough. Let’s see you again before the next family wedding, huh?”

“I’ll try, Pops.” She inhaled deeply, taking in the smell of leather, strong peppermint candy, and Dial soap that always clung to him.

He held her closer. “She’s a good lady, that Sasha,” he whispered. “Make sure you keep her, eh, Rubes? I mean it.”

“I’ll do my best.” The nauseating tangle of emotion that she’d been experiencing since the night of the wedding bubbledup again in her stomach. Happiness, the joy of Sasha being beloved by her family, the confusion in feeling like she was with Sasha while knowing she wasn’t but coming so close to wishing that she could be, the apprehension of how they’d navigate everything once they got home. What was going to happen next? Did she even know what she wanted to happen next?

“Rubes?” Her father had pulled back and was staring at her in concern.

“Yeah! Yeah.” She ruffled his salt and pepper hair. “You got it, Pops. We’ll be back.” She gave him one more hug. “Love you.”

“Love you too, my girl.” He gave her a gentle push. “Go on, that TSA line looks long.”

The tears weren’t going to stay held back much longer. With another hug for her mother and some big waves at everyone, Ruby grabbed Sasha’s hand and spun on her booted heel to walk briskly to the TSA line.

“Hey. You okay?” Sasha wiggled her hand free to sling an arm around Ruby’s shoulder and rubbed her upper arm. “Dumb question. Sorry. Of course not.”

“I mean, yes? And no. It’s not a dumb question.” Ruby offered a watery smile as tears began to dribble from her eyes. “I’m ready to see Winston again, ready to be back at the Lounge, ready to go home to my apartment and give Natalie her thank you gifts and get all the gossip. I love living in LA.” She swallowed the lump in her throat, and it hurt. “But you know, my dad’s right, I don’t go home enough, once or twice a year at most. I feel like even though we spent a week there, it wasn’t enough time. And I hardly saw Danny, he was so busy with wedding stuff. Time just passes by so quickly.”

“He said he and Angela would come out and visit soon, though.” Sasha said, and Ruby could tell she was trying to sound reassuring. “Maybe they’ll talk your parents into comingout, too. Wouldn’t it be nice to have them for Christmas or something?”

There was something about the way Sasha was wording it that rubbed Ruby’s jangled nerves the wrong way. It was very… assuming. Very couple-ish. Ruby needed to ease out of the shimmering fairytale bubble and take stock of herself, of what she wanted, where they could go from here, where theyshouldgo.

Because the cold feet hadn’t let up, and she was starting to feel slightly panicked and confined as Sasha seemed to step so naturally into the role of girlfriend. But this was what Ruby had wanted her entire life, wasn’t it? This warm and cozy supportive kind of love? The kind of stuff she liked best to write about? The love she’d basically been manifesting while writing her books, it seemed like she had it now, and all she wanted was to take a few steps back and catch a deep breath, a moment to think.

Swallowing hard, Ruby ducked out from under Sasha’s arm and took two steps away.

Surprised, Sasha blinked at the empty space where Ruby had been, and slowly lowered her arm. “Rubes?”

“Yeah?” The smile Ruby was offering her was too bright, too artificial. Sasha moved forward, hand outstretched, and was surprised again when Ruby backed away and her smile grew harder.

Alarm bells began to go off in the back of her brain. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” But it was too firm, and that firmness didn’t match up with the frenetic gleam that had appeared in Ruby’s eyes.

She tried to stay calm. “You’re jumpy. Kind of all over the place all of a sudden. I’m worried, that’s all.”

“Well, don’t be.” Ruby handed her boarding pass and ID to the guy at the TSA podium, who quickly passed her through. Briskly, Ruby walked over to the indicated line without even a glance back at Sasha.

An ice-cold pit began to open up in Sasha’s stomach. Sheknewit had all been going too well. She braced herself, in an attempt to wrap her heart up from what felt like an upcoming break.

Quietly, she went through her own security procedures. Shoes off, electronics out, liquids bag in the bin. From the corner of her eye, she watched as Ruby moved with that uncharacteristic efficiency and quickness to go through the metal detector and grab her belongings. By the time Sasha had finished and was bringing her shoes over to the bench Ruby was standing by, Ruby had been standing and looking ready to bolt for a full two minutes.

Sasha took her time getting herself together, trying to figure out what was happening as she laced up her sneakers. Ruby was nearly vibrating out of her skin with nerves, so Sasha knew she had to tread carefully. She picked up her backpack. “Our gate is?—”

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