Page 51 of Warmer, Colder

I try not to react further, but keeping my eyes on hers is a monumental challenge. “What’s changed? It’s hard to believe that you’ve suddenly decided you want this.”

“It’s not sudden. We both know you make me feel good. Well, the way you touch me, at least.” She bites her lip as I stroke my thumbs tentatively over her nipples. “I’m trying to get out of my own way. I need this.”

“Why?” I press.

“I can’t—“, her voice breaks, “I can’t even touch myself anymore. For months, seeking pleasure, giving pleasure, has become repulsive to me. Frightening even. My body doesn’t feel like my own anymore. I’m not the woman I used to be. My self-worth, my identity, my sexuality, all of it was taken from me.” She looks down at her feet as she speaks. “But when you touch me, it’s like I’m finally present in my body again. You know how to make me feel. I’m so tired of being numb.” Finally, Becca meets my eyes. “I want to feel feminine and powerful and desired.” A desperate sigh leaves her as she draws my arms around her waist.

“Trust me, there’s never been a day that you haven’t been desired.” It’s vexing that someone as gorgeous as Becca has ever felt lacking.

“I mean desired for me. Not what peoplethinkI am. I mean being desired in my raw sexuality, the one thatIown. Not thekind where other people use me as a means to an end, to fulfill their own desires without any regard for mine.”

I empathize with her to an extent.It’s what she’ll do to you. My subconscious chimes in, stirring up those ugly, spiteful feelings that had receded for a bit. The chokehold her speech has had on me is broken. I’m not going to be anyone else’s experiment, especially not hers. I’ve waited for this day for so long, but now, it feels wrong for both of us. I have too much to lose, like my self-respect. Releasing her, I lean back. “I’m not going to fuck you.”

The defiance that flashes across her eyes surprises me. “So, what? All that taunting was for nothing?” She steps closer. “Who’s the coward now?”

That pulls a barking laugh from me. After putting herself out there like that, she falls back on provoking me? Okay. Two can play that game. “You had me going there for a minute, but you’re out of your fucking league. If you think I’m going to bend to your will just because you throw yourself at me, you’ve sorely underestimated me.”

“This was a waste of time. Just forget it.”

“Aww, Crybaby, don’t be embarrassed. Be better. Earn. It.” I step flush to her, forcing her bare breasts to graze my shirt. “I told you before, if you want to touch me, if you want me to moan with your name on my lips,” I breathe the words heavily against her ear, “if you ever want me to touch your pretty little cunt, you’re going to have to beg for it.” I trace the row of delicate ear piercings with my tongue. “And you can be sure that I’m going to make you suffer so beautifully for it.”

The shuddering breath that leaves her is heavy with arousal. A wicked smile curls my lips.Now this is what I’m talking about. Could even be worth the inevitable letdown.“Do you enjoy being put in your place?” I pinch her nipple, and she gasps, shoulders caving, mouth falling open. I don’t let go, but instead, I use it as leverage to pull her closer. “C’mon Crybaby,” I said,“beg for it.” My fingers release briefly then pinch down again, eliciting the makings of a reluctant moan.

“Ah-okay!” Becca’s fingers latch onto mine, attempting to pry my nails away from the sensitive bud.

I raise a brow, staring down at her as I hold my ground.

“Stasi,” she attempts to warn me.

“Becca?” I say through a devious laugh as I roll her nipple between my fingertips, my other hand sliding up her thigh and stopping just shy of her pussy. “Do you have something you’d like to say?”

Her stance widens, the heat of her inviting, tempting even. But I’m determined to see this through. I’ve waited this long. A whimper escapes her, but my fingers only tighten on her thigh.

“Fine,” she hisses through gritted teeth. “You want me to beg? I can beg.” There’s a crackling current of desperation I’ve never heard in her voice before, it catches along my spine, shocking me into an alert need.

“Let me taste you.” Before me, Becca sinks to her knees. My own nearly buckle at the sight. How many times have I imagined her feasting on my pussy? But I can’t give in that easily.

“I don’t know,” I sigh.

“Please.” She places a kiss almost mockingly on the knee tattooed withBe Thou My Ally.I watch her unyieldingly, and she repeats the motion on the other knee where the script readsCrush Not My Spirit.Her satisfied smirk nearly has them buckling, but I can’t let her get too cocky. I need more from her.

“Do you have any idea how many women have been in your place?” I caress the side of her face in a parody of intimacy. “The tongues on some of them, I mean…I’ll spare you the details, but fuck they knew what they were doing.” Tilting my head, I look down on her, sizing her up. A vicious hunger curls inside my belly at the way she hangs on my every word, parched for permission. “Do you really think you could hold a candleto them? It would be a shame to end up disappointed by a lackluster performance. I hate to be leftwanting.”

Becca’s eyes brighten with defiance, her pride bruised, her need to please activated in a whole new way. And fuck if I don’t want her toplease me, seek my validation, lose herself to her need for this.

I’m so elated that I’ve struck a nerve, that I don’t expect her spiteful retaliation until her teeth sink into my inner thigh as she tries to take a piece of me like the dig I just took at her. I’m not really one for pain, but the honest anger behind that bite turns me on. Behind that gauzy film of disdain is pure lust flaring bright.

I tsk. “Oh, come on, now. You can’t be the best at everything, Becca. We all have to start somewhere.” The synthetic sympathy mixes with the sourness of my taunting, sweet and tart like the strawberry lemonade we used to sell from her lawn. It’s refreshing on my tongue.

Ever insistent on being a teacher’s pet, she moves with purpose. Soft, slender fingers run up my legs—the delicious friction against my fishnets leaves tingles across my skin—and grip the back of my thighs, massaging there as she kisses her way up the sensitive skin above my knees carefully placing her lips in between the crisscross pattern of my tights. Up and up her fingers trace until she reaches the bands that hold them around my thighs. My gut tightens as she rolls them, then my panties down until they tangle around my ankles. I don’t step out, too transfixed by the show her lips are putting on. But when she plants a kiss on one of the tattooed bows—the ones that are a reminder of her—the spell is broken. This isn’t what I asked for. I’ve gotten distracted, but I can’t let her off so easily. We might want the same thing for once, but I’m determined to take the hardest route; she’s too used to taking perfectly paved roads. We’re crawling on sharp gravel to get to our destination.

My nails dig into her sculpted cheekbones. “I saidbeg, not seduce. If you want me to play with you, you need to follow the rules.” I loosen my hold. “You think you can convince me that this is a good idea? You’re going to have to work a lot harder for my approval than that. Go on, plead for my pussy on your mouth.” Her muscles tense with a harsh swallow. Those ocean eyes swim with uncertainty, so I coax her on. “I want outright devotion; I’m not caving for anything less. I want you to cry with need as I drip down your chin. I want to see you suffocate in my pleasure, then ask me to do it again.” I push her with dirty words and erotic imagery. One half of me hoping to prove her a fraud, the other yearning for her to surprise me.

On the battlefield of her beautiful features, lust and fury collide. The effort of their dueling is obvious in her heavy breathing, in the reddening of her cheeks. But finally, there’s a victor. She nods once and I release her face.

“Well, what’ll it be? Can you pass this test?” I demand even though she’s already passed with flying colors. She doesn’t even need to try, the simple act of her existing in my proximity has me unreasonably wet.

“Yes.” Her jaw is clenched so tightly that her lips barely move.

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