Page 92 of Forgiving Fate

“That’s exactly why I called you over here! You’re looking incredible, by the way! I see you running over here all the time and girl, I don’t know how you do it. I’d be dying after the first mile.”

We both laugh and she continues, “A little birdie told me you are a nurse to little ones.”

Not wanting to go down a rabbit hole of asking who told her, I smile and say, “Yeah. It’s been a little bit, but I am a pediatric nurse. My specialty was typically in the ICU, but I wandered to the happier unit sometimes.”

Lainey flashes me smile, “You are a real saint. I could never be around sick babies all the time. I’d be bawling my eyes out daily.”

“Yeah. It’s tough some days, but it’s also very fulfilling to see them go from the lowest of lows to running down the halls. You definitely have to understand how to separate and not get attached to every patient or you won’t last very long.”

Lainey curls her arms around herself, “I can’t even imagine. I—”

She is interrupted as a little boy runs up to her crying because another boy took his ball. Effortlessly, she settles him and turns her attention back to me. “Sorry. Never a dull moment. Anyway, I am about to have to get these kiddos back inside, so I’m sorry to drop this on you out of nowhere.” She giggles before continuing, “So we are looking for a nurse. The current woman working here has been here for the past thirty years and is well past retirement, but never leaves because the school board can never find someone to replace her. So when I found out you were a kid whisperer, I figured you may be perfect for the job?”

I stare at her in disbelief for a moment. Wow. I never had someone offer me a job out of the blue without really knowing me, let alone knowing if I am as good as others say I am.

“Umm—” I have no idea what to say and I know she has to go soon, but I have no idea if I am ready to go back to work yet. It’sbeen almost a year, but I am so stuck in my own head, I don’t think I am the best for the job, even if I miss it like crazy.

Lainey shakes her head and digs in her pocket, grabbing her phone, “Don’t answer now. The school board doesn’t need to know until the end of the year, since that is when Mrs. Lisa is leaving for good. I just know in situations like—-” She slams her hand over her mouth and her eyes go wide.

“Crap! I’m so sorry! I mean nothing by it. It’s just that I’ve been through everything with my cousin, Addy, and have been around Resilience for years that I know to never drop something on someone who has gone through hell.”

I stare at her, my eyes wide, my cheeks turning red. I know she is rambling and I know she has firsthand knowledge of what happens to people that need Resilience, but I am not in the space to accept that I am one of those people yet.

One thing is for sure, though, I will not let this poor girl practically flail in front of me when she is trying to be nice. “Lainey. It’s okay. I get it. I’ve been hanging around Landon enough to understand that what happens around him and Resilience is nothing short of dark and complicated.”

Her shoulders deflate, and she flashes me a smile. “Sorry. I ramble when I get nervous. I swear I am usually not this big of a hot mess. Just ask Noah and Leo. I am the most relaxed out of all of us, and that’s saying something because Leo has to knock Noah’s crazy butt down a peg or two daily.” I laugh and she continues. “Rambling. Sorry. Anyway, if it’s okay with you, I’d love to exchange numbers and we can discuss this later?”

Not wanting to be a jerk, I pull my phone out and we exchange number. She says goodbye and just as she starts to walk away I say, “I don’t think I’m ready, but I’ll think about it. Thank you for thinking of me. It means more than you will ever know.”

Lainey smiles, “Of course. And not for nothing, but you are stronger than you think Allie. Whether you say yes now or threeyears from now, just know that any place would be lucky to have a badass like you taking care of their kiddos. Don’t be a stranger! I am staying at the apartment above The Handle. When you’re ready, you should really join the girls and I for girls’ night. No pressure though.”

I nod. “I’ll think about it, but thank you for the invite. Maybe one day.”

We both wave goodbye and I make my way back towards the house.

Just as I turn onto Main St, Logan walks out of The Needle. Our eyes lock and this time I don’t act like I didn’t see her or run away. Instead, I stand there as our eyes lock across the street.

I have no idea how long we stand there, but as the seconds pass, I realize for the first time in months, my brain isn’t screaming at me to run away or scream at her for being the reason I lost everything.

Raising my hand, I wave and give her a small smile.

Her shoulders deflate, and she waves back.

Part of me wants to run across the street and hug her because I miss her so freaking much, but I don’t. I can’t. I’m not ready and I think she can tell because she doesn’t take a step off the curb. She just stands there and waits for me to make the next move.

Tears fill my eyes at the mental gymnastics my mind is going through.

She is the reason.

No. He is.

My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I welcome the distraction.

Landon: You. My shower. 10 minutes.

I chuckle and type back.

Allie: Wow. Romantic much?

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