Page 83 of Forgiving Fate

“And maybe I am not the person to do that for you, but last night when you asked me to stay, I thought I was, but if you need to be alone I–”

Landon looks like a deer in headlights as I lean in and cup his face. His mouth opens to speak, but I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. His body goes rigid and I instantly feel like I messed up. I know that I just ruined the only friendship I have because of my own selfish agenda.

I go to pull back, refusing to open my eyes, but as I do, one of Landon’s arms wraps around my waist and pulls me towards his chest. His other hand cups my face and I freeze.

Landon isn’t pushing me away. He is kissing me back.

All the tension fades from my body, and I relax into his chest. Our lips move against each other’s as if we have been kissing for years and tears spring to my eyes.

The first tear hits my cheek and I feel Landon try to pull away, but I chase and he stops. The tears are not because of him. They are from the realization that I’m feeling absolutely nothing at all.

Kissing Landon Parker Hayes silences the voices and calms the raging storm inside my head, trying to drag me under. In this moment, the voices, the unwanted touches and the lies spurred on by hatred are gone and what lies in its wake is the feeling of peace and welcomed silence.

Landon pulls back, and this time, I let him.

“Sorry…I know that was selfish. I—”

Landon leans forward and places a quick kiss on my lips before laying back down, his arm going behind his head, the other running up and down my back.

His eyes are dark gray, and his cheeks have a tint of red on them. I expect him to move or go back to his room, but he doesn’t. He moves me to lie completely on top of him, my head resting on his chest while his arms wrap securely around me.

“That was unexpected and surprising. That kiss…I have no words to explain what it did to me, but I know that your mind will spiral if I don’t try. So here it is. That kiss was more than a kiss. It felt like for the first time in years the lights came on. The fire inside my veins was extinguished, and the sun started to shine again. But most of all, the voices went completely silent. And I don’t know your intentions beyond this kiss, but I can tell you one thing, if you believe it’s selfish, then I guess I’m selfish too, because I will do anything to feel that at peace again.”

We sit in silence and I try to formulate a thought beyond his words that feel like he is speaking straight from my soul, but I cannot focus on anything other than basking in what feelslike sitting in front of the most beautiful rainbow after a long rainstorm.

“So not to be that person, but we clearly feel the same, so I want to be clear on where I think this may be headed.”

Landon’s laugh vibrates in his chest, and I look up at him. “Oh Allie Girl, I think we both know where it’s going, but you need to be the one to say it. Because you are driving the car and I am the passenger. But just know, whatever path you choose, I’m on board. Whatever I can do to turn my mind off that doesn’t involve a silent killer causing me to do stupid shit. I will blindly walk down that path, especially if it’s with a strong and beautiful woman like you.”

“Look alive Allie Girl!”

My head snaps back just as Landon is tossing a deck of cards at me. I barely have time to react and move to the side so I don’t get smacked in the face by flying Uno cards.

I turn my attention back to Landon, who is putting popcorn into a bowl. A smile spreads across his face and I shake my head.

“Appreciate the heads up, asshole. You could have hit me!”

Landon doesn’t meet my gaze and says, “Do you need any medicine or an ice pack for your hand?”

“No, I’m good. Thank you.”

He gives me a thumbs up, pushes his sleeves up his forearms, picks up the bowl of popcorn, and heads into the living room.

Today has been…different.

If you would have told me five months ago that I kissed Landon Hayes, I would have told you that you were insane. Maybe I am, but the way I see it is that we both need a way to escape. We already trust each other, so what can go wrong?

Landon hands me the bowl of popcorn and drags the small living room table closer to the couch and tosses a pillow on the ground in front of me and points to the pack of Uno cards.

I do as he asks and place the bowl of popcorn on the table before I move to sit down on the pillow, my back resting against the base couch.

Just as I’m getting comfortable, Landon sets down two steaming cups of hot chocolate and hands me a sweatshirt that was hanging on his shoulder.

My brows furrow in confusion as I reach out and take the sweater.

“You’re always freezing. I rarely keep blankets down here. I’m either at The Hideout or in my room, but I’ll go steal some from Grayson’s place or order more.” Landon says as he sits down on the ground and quickly adjusts his gray joggers to cover his ankles.

“Thanks.” I say as I put on The Needle sweater and get comfortable while Landon deals out the Uno cards.

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