Page 71 of Forgiving Fate

Landon: Ask your question. Or say what you wanted to say.

Allie: You should really stop assuming that when I go quiet that it’s because I am afraid of saying or asking something.

My brow raises and I look up quickly to make sure my brothers aren’t coming back from scoping out a property of a man that we believe took our captive before I take a swig of my drink. When I see the coast is clear, I take a large sip of my drink and let my body relax as the liquid warms me from the inside out.

Landon: I didn’t. I just know you and know you wouldn’t let me win when it comes to smack talk.

Allie: Fine. Umm…how is the mission going? Are you on track to come home tomorrow or Sunday.

Landon: It’s going. We are set to rescue the captive early tomorrow morning.

If all goes well with the scope out tonight and the rescue tomorrow, we should be back tomorrow night. But it will probably be late.

Allie: Oh okay.

Landon: Why? Miss me already?

When Allie doesn’t respond for a few minutes, panic rises in my chest. Fuck. I shouldn’t have said that. She probably thinks I’m flirting with her and now the one person who is her safe space is making moves on her.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I stare down at the whiskey and coke sitting on the table next to me and curse it a thousand ways to Sunday for being a means to survive, but also a curse that causes me to say stupid shit.

I am about to type out a message and apologize to Allie when a text comes through.

Allie: The only thing I miss is seeing the look on your face when I kick your ass at Uno in person.

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Maybe she said it to save me from spiraling. Or maybe she didn’t think anything of it. Either way, I am happy I didn’t just mess up a friendship that’s foundation is built on trust and knowing that I am not another man who will hurt her.

Taking another sip of my drink, instead of typingout another text, I hit the call button. I have no idea why I do, but for some odd reason, I cannot stand the silence surrounding me.

The phone rings a few times before Allie’s voice comes through the phone. “Hello?” she says, probably confused as hell why I am calling her. When I’m gone, we usually stick to texts.

Clearing my voice, “Hey sorry. I—uh…don’t know why I called.”

Silence fills the line between us, and I wait for her to respond.

“Oh. Um…do you need a distraction?”

I nod, but realize she cannot see me and say, “Sure?”

Rustling sounds through the phone and I try to piece together what she is about to say or do when her voice comes through the line. “Sorry. I was swapping out the ice pack for my hand.”

“No problem. How are you? Any pain?”

“Yeah. But it’s not as bad as trying to survive my mind, so it could be worse.”

Fucking hell. I take another swig of my drink and immediately feel disgusted with myself. I am sitting here talking to this girl that has been through the unthinkable and I am here letting a damn liquid take me down. Anger rises in my chest and I want to throw the damn drink across the lawn, but I know that will only create a problem later when I need to focus on doing my job I have been severely failing at.

“Sorry. Dark humor is how I cope, apparently.”

A laugh escapes me and I take another look at my drink and flip off the inanimate object.

Taunt us all you want, but we know we will always win.

“We all have our ways of coping. Yours just happens to leave people with their jaws on the floor and mine…yeah. Anyway, what’s this distraction you were talking about?”

“Okay. Do you remember back at my parents’ place you said you would answer any question I had when it came to what you and your brothers do?”

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