Page 43 of Forgiving Fate

I run harder than I ever have and make it to her house and almost pass out as my feet carry me closer and closer to her front door. As I get closer, I see the lights glowing in the windows and her car in the driveway, so I know she is home.

So why isn’t she answering her phone?

Because she doesn’t want to talk to you. You are nothing to her.

Shaking the thoughts from my head, I knock on the door and beg whatever gods of fate are in the universe that she answers the door. But the fates are never on my side because she doesn’t. I don’t hear footsteps or see shadows moving inside.

My stomach sinks and I bang on the door harder. I know if she is asleep, I am going to scare her, but I don’t care. I need to see that she is okay. I can’t lose another person.

Nothing.

I test the door handle, and to my surprise, it opens. My heart stops and my hand freezes. My lungs burn from the run and a million and one things race through my head, but one stands out.

Please be okay.

“Get your shit together Landon,” I mutter to myself.

Pushing the door in, I snap into mission mode and quietly step inside. Scanning the living room, I don’t see anything out of the normal. A blanket is laying on the recliner and the fireplace glows, but there is no sign of Allie.

“Allie,” I call out her name and for the first time, hope to hear a scream or something, just so I can know she is still here.

Nothing.

Peaking upstairs, I see the room is dark and decide to check the kitchen. I really don’t want her to be upstairs sleeping andwake up to me standing over her. But I will if she isn’t down here.

If she was upstairs asleep, why would she leave the door unlocked?

Tugging at the back of my neck, I frantically search the entire downstairs and come up empty.

“Allie. It’s Landon. I’m coming upstairs,” I say, louder this time, just in case she is asleep and didn’t hear me the first time.

But why is the door unlocked? Damn, you suck at this.

Ignoring my inner thoughts, I make my way up to the loft. Her bed is empty and the bathroom door is wide open. I call out her name again and hear nothing, so I search the bathroom.

Nothing.

“Dammit Allie, where are you?” I say out loud, completely defeated.

I check the closets and under the bed before making my way back downstairs. An eerie feeling settles over me and my stomach turns.

Slowly, after double checking the downstairs again, I head out to the back porch. Sliding open the glass door, I step onto the porch and scan the area. The sun peeks out from the clouds and shines directly on the far side of the wooden deck and my entire world shatters.

“No!” I yell and run over to the lump of fabric curled in a ball against the railing.

My feet slide on the wet wood and I fall to my knees, skidding right into her.

Allie lays right in front of me, curled up in a blanket, her eyes glazed over, staring out at the forest.

“Allie?” I say, quietly.

She’s still alive. She just took something and is in some sort of dissociative state. What do I do? Do I touch her? Do I not?

I’ve seen the way her skin crawls when someone gets too close to her on her bad days. And on the opposite end, I’ve seen the days where it looks like she just needs someone to hold her.

I’ve seen this before in victims. They are so high on god knows what to the point they don’t even know where they are. Waving my hand in front of her face, I try to get her attention, but she doesn’t move.

No. Please, no. Logan will hate me if she loses her best friend. She will never forgive herself. Then Grayson will hate me because he trusted me with his fiancée’s only living family. And I will have lost another at the hands of my own inner demons.

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