Page 34 of Forgiving Fate

“Hey. Thank you, uh…I just realized I never got your name.”

I hesitate for a moment before shaking his hand, but ultimately decide to.One step at a time.

“It’s Allie. And you’re welcome. Hope you get back on your feet soon,” I say, flashing him a small smile and shake his handbriefly before wrapping my arms back around myself. I catch Landon watching me and he gives me a reassuring nod before assisting Carter to the truck.

And as I watch them walk away, all the adrenaline drains from my body and I am hit with an extreme wave of exhaustion. I was so focused on helping Carter, I didn’t even notice Logan standing directly behind me. When I turn around, I am shocked. Her face is red from crying, blood stains her face, chest, and her hands. It truly looks like she just face planted into a pool of blood.

Her arms drop from being wrapped around herself and she steps into me to give me a hug. I step back and her eyes go wide.

Immediately I want to apologize. She is not the one at fault. She did not do this. But I can’t find the words to say anything close to sorry.

“Allie. I am so, so sorry. I know nothing I say will ever make it any better, but please understand, I had no idea. I swear all I ever did was try everything I could to make surehenever found you. There are no words on the planet that will ever be enough to express how sorry I am. And I will do anything and everything to prove that to you.”

I stare at her. No words come out of my mouth. I don’t run into her arms and hug her. I don’t tell her everything will be fine and that I forgive her. I don’t tell her she is not at fault and not to blame herself.

Instead, I take another step back, steel my spine, fold my arms over my chest, and say, “I appreciate it. But I need time. I can’t do this right now, Logan. I can’t be around you right now. It hurts too much.” My voice comes out cold and void of emotion.

I watch as tears stream down her face and I feel a pang in my chest, but push it away.

I glance over my shoulder and see Landon is standing a few feet behind me. His eyebrows raise and he gives me a questioning look.

I want to get the hell out of here. Because at this point, even if I am staying in the same place Logan used to, anything is better than standing here, staring at the girl I feel an immense amount of anger towards.

Landon nods his head towards the car, and I turn around, avoiding Logan’s eyes.

I get to the car and as soon as I sink into the seat and shut the door, I feel a single tear slide down my cheek. Quickly, I swipe it away. I keep my head down until the car door opens. Landon slides in and slowly we make our way back down the road.

A few minutes into the drive, Landon says, “I’m sorry about tonight. But just so you know, you did great. And I don’t think anyone here would have had the strength to do what you did tonight. Logan will be fine. You did what was best for you and sometimes that’s all that matters. Don’t feel guilty for doing what you needed to do to protect yourself. And I know we are still virtually strangers and this may not mean much but I am very proud of you. You handled that with grace and care. You shut everything out and helped him and stood up for you. Be proud of that Allie, because I know for certain if I was in your shoes, I would have reacted completely different.”

I let his words sink in and nod despite him not being able to see me.

He’s right. I did what I needed to do to protect myself. I may not care what happens tomorrow because let’s face it, this world is chaos and I am just riding it until I lose the strength to fall off. But as long as I do have the will to keep holding on, I will no longer let others’ needs come before mine.

Even if it is my best friend. Even if I still love her like a sister. Even if I know the truth. It all boils down to one thing.

I am tired of being hurt, and seeing her will only bring up what I am desperately trying to avoid.

Chapter Fourteen

Landon

The outdoor lights ofthe cabin shine brightly as we pull into the driveway.

Allie hasn’t said a word since we left the mission. She didn’t move or react when Wesley called me to say he had the captor secured and was on his way to The Playhouse. She didn’t even react when Grayson called to say he was dropping Mrs. Tanner and Carter off at the hospital.

It’s almost like she completely shut her mind off to the world around her and all she is conscious of is the idea to be on guard in case she needs to defend herself.

I put the car in park in the driveway and glance over at Allie. Her eyes are closed and her head is leaning against the cool window. I don’t want to rush her, but I know we have been in the car for almost a week and I’m sure she is tired of being stuck so close to me.

And if I’m being honest, I am ready to be in the safety of my own home, where I don’t have to be on guard or responsible for anyone but myself. I am desperate to let everything go and just give into all the temptation and desire.

“Allie, we’re here,” I say, my voice in almost a whisper, so I don’t startle her.

I watch as she shifts in her seat and her hands that are wrapped around her body shake, but her eyes remain closed and she stays slumped against the door.

The obvious hits me and I feel stupid that it wasn’t the first thing I thought of. “Allie. I’m going to go inside and check everything. I’ll check the outside once it’s clear.”

I get out of the car and walk up to the front door, glancing over my shoulder to check on her. Her eyes are now locked on me as I move closer to the door.

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