I do have one favor before I go. If we are going to turn this into pen pals, can you please try to leave robot Landon off paper? You know how I feel about him.
Keep pulling on that string because the light is growing bright. I can feel it.
Bluebird
PS. I got a tattoo inspired by a promise someone once asked me to make.
Tilgi.
#6
Lo,
Long time no speak?
I know this is going to come to as a surprise to you and before you become a blubbering mess, I want to thank you.
Thank you for allowing me time and space to figure my mind out. I know all you’ve wanted to do for the past few months was run to me, but you didn’t. You let me process and find a way to separate what happened from reality and you will never know how much respect and love I have for you doing so.
I want you to know that I no longer blame you for what happened. I did before, but that was due to what I now know was brainwashing. Before coming to this beautiful place nestled in the valley of a mountain, I thought something completely different because of words that were screamed at me for hours on end, making me believe something completely untrue.
I had to fight my mind to understand what was real and a string that a puppet master planted inside my mind. I like to think my heart knew the truth and my brain refused to believeit due to it being rewritten into a perfectly orchestrated set of lies.
When I got to Cliff Haven, I had to fight my heart and brain daily to understand what was real. That day happened because it all blew up in my face and I could no longer tell the difference between real and fake.
Since coming here, I have had to fight daily to decipher what was real and his version of the truth. My therapist has taught me more than I will ever fully understand and I know I am far from healed and in order to keep making steps forward, I have to cross a bridge that I have been desperate to reach.
I have finally reached that bridge, but I had to do one thing first, so here we go.
I forgive you Logan. I forgive the real Logan, who was my best friend and the other half. The one who did everything in her power to protect me from her past, in case it came forcing its way into the present. I also forgive the fake version of you that was wired into my brain at the hands of a master puppeteer with a sick agenda.
I forgive every version of you and desperately want to meet you in the middle of that bridge. I want to hear your story and tell you mine, but mostly, I want to see you happy. I want to join you in the sunshine that you are basking in.
I never thought I’d say this, but there must be something magical in the air surrounding Cliff Haven because we both went in broken beyond repair and are somehow fighting every day to stay in the place that has brought us much more than healing.
My time here is undetermined, but I promise you that when I leave, I want to see you.
We have so much to talk about that would fill an entire novel, but I wanted to let you know I am finally ready and cannot wait to see you again.
I miss you, Lo, and most of all, I love you.
See you soon,
Al
PS. I will need to speak to your future husband when I get back because I forgot how addicting tattoos are.
Chapter Forty-One
Allie
The sunshine hits myface as I step out the front doors of Lila Park Rehabilitation Center.
Dr. Kim squeezes my hand and I turn to look at the woman who has taken me far beyond I could ever have imagined.
Her dark brown eyes stare down at me. “I am so proud of you. When you got here six months ago, you were a shell of a girl. Now you are shining bright and beautiful. You have come so far and I know this is just the start of your new journey.”
Tears fill my eyes. “Thank you for everything. I would not be standing here without you.”