Page 10 of Forgiving Fate

“What do you mean what? I have said your name like fifty times. Get your head out of your ass and tell us what the fuck is going on, asshat!” Noah pauses and continues, this time talking to one of my brothers, “Since when am I the responsible, bossy one? Did we enter the matrix, or some fucked up dimension where I am in charge? Because if that’s the case, I want radio control on the next mission. I’m tired of Logan and Wes’s bullshit.”

“Hey! Sleep Token and Backstreet Boys are not bullshit! Watch it or I’m going to tell Wes what you said at dinner last night about his jeans that look girly or whatever it is you said.”

Allie walks up and stands a few feet away, keeping her distance, leaning against the car. I nod and she opens the bag, handing me a candy bar. I raise my eyebrows and she shrugs.

Moving to the trunk, still giving Allie space, I set the phone down and flip the phone on speaker. Allie rises slightly to see the name on the phone just as Mom speaks up.

“Noah! It is not nice to call a grown woman a tattletale!”

Noah and Mom go back and forth and I look over to see Allie just staring at the phone.

Muting the mic, I say, “This is what you have to look forward to. I don’t know if Logan told you about the family dynamic, but my youngest brother, Noah, is a fucking lunatic. He’s strong as hell, but he is also crazy as hell. He really loves fucking with my oldest brother, Wesley. And Logan has adopted the little sister role and eggs it on with Mom. It’s hilarious, but their timing sucks.”

She takes a moment to listen and as she hears Logan laugh, her face briefly morphs into anger before she hides it. That split second of anger only lasted a moment, but it was enough to convince me that this road trip was definitely needed.

“Alright. Everyone lets focus. Let’s get back to the reason why you are all in my house right now, interrupting my alone time with my fiancée.” Grayson says, sounding pissed off.

Clearing my throat, “It’s about time. I’ve only been standing here for–” I check the time on the call and continue, “ten minutes while you all argue about Wes’s ass. Do you even remember why you called?”

“Sorry Lan. Can you please explain what is going on and if Allie is okay?”

I glance over at Allie and see her sighing and turning her back against the trunk, staring out at the empty parking lot.

“She is fine, Lo. I made the decision that it would be better to drive and not be stuck on an airplane. I–hang on a second.” Muting the mic, I turn to Allie. “What do you want me to tell her? I don’t want to be an ass and say something you don’t want her knowing.”

Allie is silent for a moment and her next move shocks me. She spins and hits the mic and says, “I’m fine. Being trapped in a tube with more people I don’t know doesn’t sound appealing to me right now. Landon offered up the idea of driving, so I figuredthat was the better alternative. And we are stopping at my parents’ so I can see ifheleft anything of theirs or ifhedestroyed everything likehedestroyed them.”

Allie’s hands go to her mouth as soon as the last word leaves her mouth. The line goes silent and I have no idea what to do or say. I watch as she sets her drink on the truck and takes a step back from the car. Her arms cross over her chest and she stares down at her feet.

I know she didn’t intend for those words to come out, especially the last few that were filled with hurt and frustration.

Silence continues and just as I am about to break it and explain the plan to my brothers, Grayson’s voice filters through the phone. “Take as long as you need. Drive safe. Switch off and if you need help to find hotels along the way, just let us know. Text or call every few hours so we know you guys are safe.”

In the background, I can hear a shuffle and Grayson’s muffled voice cuts through the phone. “Bye guys, I’ll call you later.” Voices sound far away and Grayson says, “She will be fine. Let her be alone for a moment and I promise, as soon as I say goodbye to Landon, I will go sit with her.”

Glancing back at Allie, she holds her arms banded around herself and keeps her eyes locked on the ground.

“Sorry Lan. Mom, Noah, and Wes were leaving. Call if you need anything. I’ll keep you updated if I hear anything from Carter.”

“Thanks Gray. We will be stopping soon and I will let you know where.” Lowering my voice to a whisper and taking the phone off speaker, I bring the phone to my ear and say, “Is Logan okay?”

“She will be. My girl is strong. But don’t worry about her. Stay focused on getting Allie whatever she needs. Stay safe.”

“I will. Talk to you later.” With that, I hang up and lean against the car.

Allie’s head pops up, and she waits for me to speak first. When I don’t, I can see her shoulders sag in relief.

I’m the last person who would or should ever judge anyone for saying something out of anger to someone you love. I’ve done it countless times when the voices were screaming at me for a release in the moments where I couldn’t get them what they needed.

So no, she wasn’t wrong. And if that is the worst thing she snaps at Logan for on her endless road to whatever version of normal or healed she settles on, that will be a cakewalk.

“We have about two more hours until we reach the Pennsylvania border. I figure that is the best spot to rest for the night. I picked out a few hotels that are safe and was going to let you pick one out on the way.”

“I can sleep in the car so, can you pick now before we get on the road?”

What the hell? Sleep in the car? Why the hell would she do that?

Because she doesn’t feel safe with you, you incompetent idiot.

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