Page 104 of Forgiving Fate

Harper nods, her eyes bouncing between Allie and Logan, who is standing quietly behind me.

“Lets get her back to a room, but no one can stay with her. She will never be alone, but at this time, she will be placed until a forty-eight hour watch. I–I’m sorry Landon.”

I nod, not allowing the tears to fall down my face.

Logan touches my arm before I start walking and steps in front of me.

She squeezes Allie’s hand and I expect her to say something, but she doesn’t. She just stares at her, her face void of emotions, then steps back.

Harper leads me back to a room that is only supplied with a bed and roll away computer. “You can lay her down. We will take care of the rest.”

Gently, I set her down and my arms refuse to let her go and tears threaten to fall.

NO. You don’t deserve to break. You did this. This is your fault.

My arms will not move. They refuse to let her go, but I know I need to. I can no longer give her the help she needs, and I was selfish to think I ever could be enough.

My face falls into her shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

Gently, I settle her on the bed, take one last glance at her before walking out of the room. As I am making my way back to the waiting room, I see Grayson standing outside a private room. His eyes meet mine and he waves me inside.

As soon as I step inside and Grayson closes the door, I slide down the furthest wall and my head falls into my arms.

“What the hell happened? Where is she?”

Mom’s voice echos as she and Dad enter the room.

I shrug and stare at the ground. We have been in here for hours and I haven’t moved from my spot on the wall. Police, counselors, social workers, friends of Logan, Noah, Lainey, Wes, and Harper have come in and all have gone ignored by me.

What do I say? What would she want me to say? Words fail me often and in this moment, they simply do not exist.

Yelling interrupts my thoughts, and I look up to see Logan and Grayson arguing.

“She isn’t okay. I told you she wasn’t.”

“I know, Angel, but you were respecting her boundaries. Don’t let yourself go down a path of what ifs.”

Logan throws her hands up in frustration. “Grayson. I love you, but no matter what you say, I will never forgive myself for bringing her into my life. None of this would have happened if I wasn’t desperate for love and attention. She almost died because that asshole took the two people she loved most in life away. He took them away from her to get back at me!”

“Lo, don’t go there.” Noah tries to chime in, but he is ignored.

“It’s true. If I wouldn’t have existed, she would be back in Alabama with her parents, celebrating her mom’s birthday on some trip to the coast. Instead, she is stuck in the middle of nowhere alone.”

“She wasn’t alone, my dear. She had Landon,” Mom says, slowly approaching her.

“She did, and he did great, but healing is a never-ending cycle. No matter how much time passes, the pain is still there and sometimes it suffocates you so badly that you have to remind yourself to take a breath.”

Tears fall rapidly down her face and I scan the room to see she isn’t the only one. Noah is holding Lainey as they both try to hide the fact that they are crying. Mom turns her back to Logan for a brief moment to wipe her face while Dad stands in the corner, his eyes filled with unshed tears.

Grayson stands in front of his fiancé, looking like he will kill anyone and anything to take the away pain that his other half is feeling.

Logan’s eyes lock on mine. “Landon, did she say anything? Did you guys get into a fight? Should one of us had stayed back from the mission to keep an eye on her?”

I shake my head, not wanting to tell anyone anything.

For the first time, I am not jumping to yell or put on a brave face. I just want to disappear into a handle and never come out.

You failed her. You are worthless.

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