Page 97 of Forgiving Fate

As I make my way around the corner, I say, “How about we take a break and get a showe…” My words trail off as I catch sight of his bike in the driveway.

My head snaps to him. “Did you drive home like this?”

Landon shrugs.

Anger rises in my chest, but I tamper it down and remind myself that he has a disease and is allowed to have off days, but I still need answers.

“Landon, did you drive here drunk?”

He sits up in his chair and goes to stand, but stumbles. “Why does it matter if I drove here or not? It was a few miles from the Hideout to here. I’ve done it a million times.”

He tries to move around me, and I step in front of him. “In case you didn’t know, drunk driving is illegal and these roads are full of kids. You clearly are not in the right state of mind to evenwalk around your house. I can’t even imagine how out of control you were getting here. You could have—”

Landon holds up his hand. “Gonna stop ya there. I don’t need yourrrrr help. Justhiccup,leave.” His words slur together and my temper rises. Drunk or not. Disease or not. He’s being an asshole and I refuse to let him think this is okay.

“You don’t need my help, but right now you can barely stand straight. Let me help you get to bed at least so you can sleep this shit off.”

He shakes his head and plants his hand on the counter and leans forward. “Why would I want help from you?”

Taking a step back, I cross my arms over my chest. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Landon?”

Landon shrugs, his deep blues staring into mine, “You can barely take care of yourself,Alll.W-why would I w-want help from someone like youuu?”

My jaw drops. I look around the room and pinch myself because surely the man that has been nothing but kind, caring, and my best friend for months didn’t just say that.

“What the hell did you just say?”

Please let me be imagining this. Please.

“You know it’s true. You can’t help yourself some days. Why would you think you can help me? Plus, I don’t need you. I was perfectly fine before yooou came alon–hiccup-g.”

“Fuck you.”

Landon stands to his full height and gives me a knowing look, and shrugs.

I stare at him in complete shock. I guess the last few months were too good to be true. There was no way I left hell and fell into a place where I was protected and cared for. I had a best friend that somehow knew just what I needed despite his own struggles.

Fate wasn’t on my side. It was just tricking me once again that life might turn around after complete and utter heartbreak.

Not wanting to stand here any longer, I straighten, take a deep breath, and rid my mind of any good feelings towards this man.

“Well, you got what you wanted. I’ll leave you alone. Have a nice life.” I turn and grab my bag off the hook and my keys off the counter.

As I open the door, Landon stops me. “Sorry, I wasn’t the hero you wished for.”

Spinning around, I meet his bloodshot eyes. “I didn’t wish for a hero, Landon. I just wanted a friend to be there for me when my mind went pitch black. Someone to help silence my mind and make me forget for just a second. Instead, I got a drunk that is obsessed with making promises he had no right making.” My heart breaks as the words leave my mouth and I take a moment to look him up and down and nearly fall to the ground as I see tears streaming down his face.

In my heart, in my gut, I know he is projecting and not meaning anything he says, but the damage is done. And this is my sign that I am not strong enough for this. I am not strong enough to move on as if nothing happened.

Landon and I are not good for each other in this state of life…maybe ever. We are both fighting invisible battles. And we were just silly enough to think we could fix each other when, in reality, we are barely strong enough to keep ourselves together.

I take one last look at him as he falls to the ground, crying. “Allie Girl. Please don’t leave. I need you.”

“Goodbye Landon.” With that, my mask slips back into place and I walk out the door.

Chapter Thirty-Five

Allie

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