Page 9 of Forgiving Fate

I don’t know what to say, so I nod.

He nods and takes a sip of his drink. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. But Logan cannot fly. My mom can, but she told me she isn’t the best option for what you need. So these are our options.”

He pauses for a moment, and I can’t help but notice how much his mood has shifted. He is more robotic. Like he is making a business proposal or setting a plan in action to a groupof coworkers. He isn’t being an asshole, but he is definitely not entirely the same person who was just freaking out after I thought we got into a car accident. Or the man that offered me an out from speaking to Logan.

Continuing, “The other option we have is to drive back. It’s a long drive and we will have to stop multiple times to sleep so we don’t wreck, but I will get us separate rooms every time.”

With his words, an ounce of tension leaves my body at the idea of not being stuck on a plane. And as much as the idea of sitting in the car for hours with a man I can’t fully grasp or understand scares me, I need more time before I face Logan.

And most of all, I need to make a very important stop before facing her.

I turn my body towards Landon, who is typing on his phone.

“Okay.” His head snaps up at my response and I continue before he speaks. “Umm…can we make a stop on the way?”

Chapter Four

Landon

“What do you meanyou missed your flight?”

Scrubbing my hand down my face, I lean back against the car, watching the gas station doors that Allie just walked through.

“Angel. Give him a chance to explain before you jump down his throat. I’m sure there is an explanation as to why my straight laced, by the book brother missed a flight that he booked,” Grayson says, not hiding his frustration.

“Grayson. Stop. Don’t be a dick. I just want to know what happened. Sorry Lan. I’m just so confused.” Logan says.

I let out a sigh and try to explain, but Noah starts up and so does Mom.

Damn. I love them, but I have never been happier to be thousands of miles away from them at this moment.

They go on for a few more moments and my eyes never leave the door. I see her walking around perusing the snack aisle. It took me a few minutes, but I finally convinced her to go inside and grab something. I felt like shit and knew she needed to eat. There is no telling how much that asshole let her eat. So the onlything I knew for certain I could do was try to give her life’s basic things, like food and drinks.

We had been on the road for hours after the decision to drive instead of fly and she had denied every food opportunity we passed.

This day has just been one mind fuck after another. Starting with meeting her, to her panic attack in the car, which led me to the bright idea of being in the same car as a person I have no business being with for days.

I can barely control my mind slipping into a dark place. How am I supposed to help Allie?

But I can’t discredit myself too much and it’s all because of Logan. I may not know much about panic attacks, but from spending time with her and hearing from Grayson how he helps Logan in her darkest moments, I knew the moment Allie started disappearing into herself, she was having one. A very, very bad one.

Grayson had brought up ways to help Logan in case Logan ever went through one when he wasn’t there, especially after the attack. My brothers and I took everything in that he would give us because Logan is our family and now that she is going on missions with us, I didn’t want to be thrown into the unknown in an already dangerous situation.

So when I saw Allie slipping into that dark space, I knew the basics. Take her out of the current situation, fresh air, and remind her she is here in the present and not whatever situation her mind trapped her in.

I watched the look on her face as she came out of her panic attack and realized she would have to be trapped in a metal tube for hours with nowhere to escape to. My mind raced with what to do to give her some semblance of peace while the fire burned in my veins, desperately trying to distract me.

I had no choice but to do the only thing I could and shut them up.

As much as I hate to give into the urges and let the voices screaming in my head have any power, I am not naive enough to discount the chokehold they have on my life.

I am at their mercy and if I do not give them what they want, I cannot function.

So here we are. My mind isn’t clear. It never truly is, but the fog has cleared enough for me to show Allie an ounce of safety and protection that she so rightfully deserves.

“Landon!” Noah’s voice breaks me out of my thoughts.

“What?” I say absentmindedly as I watch Allie exit the store and start walking toward me, her head on a swivel as she clutches her bag of food close to her chest.

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