Page 61 of Forgiving Fate

I hesitate, but as I’m about to ask, she stops me. “You want to know why I was in the bath?”

I nod.

“Because. The voices in my head that told me it wasn’t an accident were too loud, and I needed the water to drown them out.”

With that, she nods her head towards the door, and I follow her.

I never doubted that her pain was insurmountable, but now I can see just how deep it is.

We come from two completely different ends of the pain scale, but our masks are the same. Two people drifting along, without letting a single person in to feel an ounce of what we do on the inside.

Chapter Twenty-Two

Allie

“You need stitches Allie,”Landon insists, while leaning against his truck.

Something is off with him and it’s not him probably being scarred for life after what he just walked in on. His eyes are glassy and his hands are shaking. And maybe it’s the blood loss causing me to hallucinate, but I swear I smelled whiskey on his breath as he was helping me out of the tub.

“Can you please let me drive you?” he asks, while kicking off the wheel of his truck and moving to stand in front of my car. His body sways slightly and I furrow my brows at him and move from leaning off my car.

Shit. I am very lucky Landon came in and helped me out of the shower. Even if it was embarrassing and not something I wanted him to see. We have built some sort of silent bond through whatever messed up situation we are attempting to heal within our own minds.

It truly was an accident, but from the outside, I can see what it looked like. And now here we are. I need stitches, my mind isspinning from the blood loss and the only person I trust to come within five feet of me seems to be…unsteady.

Pulling my sleeves over my hands, I scrub my uninjured hand over my face. Tilting my face up to the sky, I inhale the crisp December air.

“Allie,” Landon says, interrupting my attempt to figure out what the hell to do.

Shifting my gaze to look at him, I find his dark blues staring directly at me, fear and concern evident on his face.

Taking a deep breath, I steel my spine and cross my arms over my chest, willing the dizziness to go away as I say, “I can drive myself.”

Landon shakes his head in almost a panic, and I retrace the last few moments to figure out how he went from seemingly calm to completely distraught. Taking a risk, I step close to him, the tips of my shoes touching his, shuffling my feet slightly to make it seem like they slipped on the icy ground.

Glancing up at him, I see the confusion on his face. “Uh. A-are you okay? Do you feel sick?”

As the words leave his mouth, the scent of cinnamon and cloves hits my nose, and my suspicions are confirmed. Not wanting to make him feel bad or that I am accusing him of something, I say, while taking a step back, “Sorry. I was slipping on the ice. Didn’t mean to get so close.”

Landon nods and the confusion slips off his face.

For a moment, my heart breaks at the idea that maybe this man isn’t just fighting an invisible battle, but one in the form of liquid death that, from my experience with patients in the past, is one hard uphill battle to climb.

My heart is telling me to try to help him, but my brain is telling me that maybe he just had too much at the holiday party before coming over. And because I cannot take much more, I decideto let my mind win this battle, even though there have been so many subtle clues that this isn’t just a single instance.

Pushing the thoughts out of my mind, I head back to my car and open the door. Glancing over my shoulder, I see Landon’s confused expression back on his face. “The adrenaline is wearing off and my hand is really starting to hurt, so I’m going to head to the hospital. I–umm…I’ll text you when I get there.”

Landon's face morphs once again into pure panic, and he steps slightly closer before realizing what he did and backs away. “Sorry. I–Can I come with you? I’m just worried you will get dizzy while driving and crash.” His words come out rushed and full of fear and for some odd reason, I want to hug him and tell him it will all be okay.

Exhaustion hits me like a rogue wave, and I lean against the car. “Is there a closer ER than Seattle?”

Landon nods. “Yeah. There is a small ER in town, but I’m not sure if they are open. It’s run by a doc that has been in this town for decades.”

Shrugging, I push off the car. “Let’s try. If not, is there a taxi or something that comes this far out?”

Landon shakes his head. “No, but I can call someone.” His eyes cast downward as he makes the suggestion and I can tell we are thinking the exact same thing. Whoever he is going to call is going to open a can of worms I do not want to take on today.

Stepping back, I open the car door and signal for Landon to get in. We both settle into the car, and I glance over at Landon. His hands are shaking and the smell of cloves is stronger now that we are closer together.

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