Page 55 of Forgiving Fate

Landon sinks down to sit on the floor with his back against the wall. “Tell me to shut up if I go too far.”

I nod. I think I know what he is going to say, and I truly don’t know if I can say it out loud.

Maybe it will help if you do.

“I am only asking because I don’t think being stuck inside your head twenty-four seven is good, nor is it going to get you very far. I have no hidden motive. No one asked me to say this. I promise.”

“Okay…”

“Does the full truth play a big part in why you can’t face Logan?”

And there it is.

Maybe it’s his experience in whatever fucked up world we live in. Or maybe it’s the fact that even though he isn’t the best people person out there because of his semi-abrasive nature, hecan read people like the back of his damn hand. But somehow, he just discovered the first piece, and maybe the biggest piece that is stopping me from facing my best friend.

“Yeah. It is…and if you knew, I think you would see why?”

“I saw from day one that there would be thousands of walls between you and her. And you have every right to feel that way.”

Pulling at the blanket in my lap, “Yeah. And talking to Harrison only made it harder. I miss her, but the truth is still there. And having to bend the facts really freaking sucks. Because I knowhedid it. I know it wasn’t her. But howhesaid it made it feel like it was.”

“Allie. I never want to push you, but maybe saying it out loud will help? You can say it to me, to the forest, to whoever. But I can tell you from experience, keeping that shit inside your mind will drive you fucking mad.”

Sighing. I glance up at him and nod. “If I tell you, promise me one thing?”

Landon nods.

“That this won’t change anything between you and Logan. You are her family and as much as I can’t handle being around her right now, it doesn't mean I don’t think she deserves an army of people that love her.”

Without hesitation, he says, “I promise.”

Taking a deep breath, I clear my mind and prepare myself to go back to a place that I wish I could forget.

Chapter Twenty

Landon

Allie stares at herhands, and I wait patiently as she finds the courage to speak.

The past few weeks have been a series of one spiral after another. Ever since that dream/drunk-induced coma, and a series of one fuck up after another, I have been feeling a little…lost.

I find myself waiting for Allie to text because at least when I’m there, I’m not alone. As pathetic as that sounds, there’s just something about keeping her company while she goes through the motions of her healing that allows me to silence the demons in my mind.

The feeling is unlike any other. I’ve never been one for friends outside of work, but somehow, in some weird way, I feel like Allie and I have bonded in a way that I cannot explain or even understand. We are both two very broken people, but to the outside world we are okay. For some reason, sitting in silence has seemed to allow Allie to work through her troubles, and me to work on silencing the voices in my head.

The cabin is warm, and the feeling of the holidays hangs in the air. It’s not overwhelming but the cool glass against my back with the warmth from the fireplace against my front and the pumpkin spice scented candle burning overwhelms my senses and the fire ceases to exist in my veins.

Not wanting to go too far into myself, I scrub my hand down my face and wait for Allie’s voice to cut through the silence.

The sound of Allie moving in the recliner and clearing her voice makes me look up. Her blanket covered knees are against her chest, her sleeve covered arms wrapping around the front of them. Tucking a piece of wavy hair back into the messy bun atop her head, she attempts to speak a few times. Each time, only saying a few words I can’t decipher before retreating into her head.

A couple of tries later, she looks down at her knees, her hands messing with the sleeves of her shirt. “So you know thatasshole, umm…took me…then my parents. I was already in the basement whenhebrought them down. Mom was hysterical and Dad’s mind was working a million miles a minute trying to find a way out.Heplaced them in the cell next to mine and told us to catch up.”

Fucking asshole.

She continues, “They told me howhetricked them there under false pretenses and we collectively found out the truemonsterthat was living insidehimover the following days. Every day that passed, I beggedhimto let them go. But the sickassholedidn’t reveal why we were there until moments afterhekilled them.” Her throat clogs with emotion and I have the sudden urge to go to her. But I can’t. She doesn’t want to be touched, so I resist.

Taking a deep breath, “He–uh–hesaid….” Her hand moves to her face to wipe the rapidly falling tears off her face and I hate that I can’t go back in time and make this man suffer all over again.

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