Page 35 of Forgiving Fate

Using the keypad, I unlock the door. I know Mom and Logan spent time while we were gone getting this place ready for Allie and got her everything she might need from groceries to clothing.

I make my way through every inch of the cabin. The living room and kitchen are all one big room, so it doesn’t take me long to get through the downstairs. It’s pretty much identical from when Logan stayed here before she moved in with Gray.

Grayson bought this place as a surprise for Logan after they got engaged as a way to get Lo to leave the house while we looked for Allie. Logan refused to accept it unless it could be a place for Allie to stay rent free for as long as she wants.

Mom and Lo have made some minor changes since Lo stayed here. Instead of the twin couches, there is one couch, a recliner, and a giant beanbag chair.

Room by room, I check every inch of the cabin and when I’m done, I go outside and do the same exact thing.

As I round to the front of the house, I see Allie is now standing outside of the car, leaning against the front. She stares straight ahead at the cabin, her arms crossed over her chest.

I move so that as I walk closer to her, she sees me approaching. Her wavy brown hair is up in a knot on top of her head. Hersweater hangs off her shoulder and I don’t think she notices because she usually has herself completely covered up.

And for the first time, I catch a glimpse of a tattoo, covering and coming up over her shoulder and down her arm. It’s dark, but as I get closer, I notice it’s a mix of flowers and vines, all black and white.

Allie doesn’t move as I stand next to her, leaning against the hood, a few feet separating us. For the first time, I allow myself to actually look at her. The light from the inside of the house and the lamp post shine bright enough I can catch a glimpse of her eyes. They are a unique shade of blue, almost like the color of a bluebird’s wings.

I look at her and I’m speechless. This girl is living proof that even when life slams the door in your face and tries to take you down, raw beauty and strength still shine brightest.

I have no idea what she went through or how she is still standing, but I can tell she has more strength in her pinky than I ever will in my entire body.

See Landon, she has survived the unthinkable and here you are letting a silly little liquid take you down. Fucking idiot.

My fist clenches at the stupid voices in my head and I push them away. Because they are right and as much as I don’t want to admit it, I am easily taken down by a silly little liquid. And at this moment, all I care about is making sure Allie is safe, the mission is wrapped up and everyone is taken care of, so I can finally go home and be alone.

Shifting my body, I lean against the side of the car, my ankles crossing over each other. I stare out at the forest and listen to the trees rustling in the wind and inhale the fresh Washington air. For the first time in almost a week, I can finally breathe again.

You can do this. Just a few more hours and you will be home.

Allie shifts and looks up at the sky. I am about to say the house is all clear when she says, “Do you ever think that there is a specific reason fate places people on certain paths?”

I don’t move from my spot and shrug my shoulders. “No. But if I did, I would have a lot of questions for the game maker that is in charge of this wild game of fate.”

Allie chuckles. “I would be in line behind you.”

I nod.

“But seriously, have you ever just sat down and thought about why we get dealt the hands we do? Like why some people are born into a family that is rich and they will never have anything to worry about, but there isn’t an ounce of love behind closed doors. But others are born into a family that barely makes it by, but their love and dedication to each other feels like they are millionaires.”

She pauses. This is the most she has spoken since I met her and lightning will have to strike right in front of us for me to interrupt her.

“Maybe they are just lucky. But what about the ones that are placed on a path that seems great at first, then quickly turns into a long, dark tunnel of one fucked up thing after another? Why is that even an option? Why is life so complicated yet simple?

“You are placed on a path and come to a fork in the road. You are forced to choose one, but you have no idea what each holds. If you pick correctly, you are down a path of sunshine and rainbows. But if you pick wrong, you are happy for a while and then suddenly the path turns rocky, and it’s a slippery slope to complete chaos and devastation. And just to mess with you, they give you a tiny ounce of hope by getting you out of the chaos. But now you’re left in pieces without tape or glue to put yourself back together.”

Her words hit hard like a punch in the gut and I’m left here standing in silence. She just summed up the meaning of this sickand twisted life in the most honest and raw way. And not once did she say a single thing I haven’t thought of a million times before.

Scrubbing my hand down my face and turning my hat backwards, I say, “If I’m being honest. I have stopped asking questions, because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t get out of bed the next day. And if I didn’t, then who would help those that aren’t given a chance to rewrite fate?”

I turn to look at her and see her gaze has shifted to staring at the ground, her head nodding as she takes everything in.

I feel the need to say something to take her out of her mind that I know is probably going a million miles an hour, but what do you say to that? There are no words in any language that would be the right ones to give her an ounce of hope that things will get better.

Fuck. I need a damn drink.

“Yeah. It just sucks that there is a reason why you have to exist in the first place.” Her head snaps to mine as she realizes what she just said, and I can see the guilt and worry on her face.

I know her words mean the opposite of what she is saying. But that doesn’t stop my mind from going into a tailspin.

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