Page 27 of Forgiving Fate

I go to speak, but he stops me. “Sorry. Didn’t mean for that to happen. You were just talking so fast and on a downward spiral, I just wanted to stop you before you crashed into rock bottom.”

Once again, this man renders me speechless, so I just nod.

A small chuckle escapes him and he looks back down at his wrist, his other hand moving to trace the tattoo. “It sayssurvivein Norwegian.”

His gaze stays down at his wrist as he continues, “I got it about a year ago. We had a really tough mission. One I will never forget and it haunted all of us. I didn’t sleep for days and for the first time, I felt hopeless. Like I wasn’t doing enough and that the victim I had lost was because of my incompetence and inability to do my job. So on a very dark day, my mind drifted to a place it shouldn’t. And just as I was about to jump over the edge into a place I would never come back from, I got a call from a former victim.

“She thanked me and told me how grateful she was and that she wouldn’t be here and about to welcome a baby girl if it wasn’t for me. So I took that as my sign. I needed to survive the pain to get to moments like that, because even though there are days where the losses hurt, if I think of her and where she is now, I can survive my mind and help others.”

Wetness coats my cheek and I don’t even realize I am crying. I quickly wipe it away before Landon notices.

“Wow. That’s sad and incredible at the same time,” I say, barely above a whisper.

Landon nods and returns his gaze towards me. “Yeah. It is.”

“It's beautiful but also incredibly heartbreaking.”

“Most of the time, pain hides behind a beautiful smile, trying to hide it from the rest of the world.“

“Yup.” His words couldn’t be more true, and I feel them all the way to the center of my broken soul.

Landon lets out a sigh and leans back against the door just as something sounds on the other side of it, followed by laughter breaking up the tense but emotional moment.

Jeez. It’s going to be a really long night.

He will never sleep if he has to go out in the car. And honestly, I may have seemed brave for all of ten seconds to the drunken idiot, but the idea of him coming back while I’m sleeping terrifies me.

So before I can talk myself out of it, I turn slightly towards Landon and say, “We both need sleep before the final stretch to Washington tomorrow. And I am a little concerned that guy may come back. So…umm…if you want to sleep in here, you can.”

Landon’s brows raise and he tilts his head slightly. “Are you sure? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Shaking my head, “It’s the least I can do. You got me food, clothes, and helped me seem way more intimidating than I look.”

“Well, if you’re sure. I’ll crash on the floor near the door so you can have the rest of the room.”

I want to object, but the look on his face says it would be pointless, so I sigh and lean back against the wall.

A comfortable silence stands between us, and I take in the moment. Landon Hayes is definitely an unexpected adventure. He is a mixed bag of enduring, fiercely protective of others but also himself. I can tell he has demons, but he’s not letting them stop him from protecting those that can’t do it for themselves.

“Uh. So I figured we were going to be up for a while with the partying, so I grabbed something. We don’t have to play, but I noticed it on the ottoman at your parents’ and took a risk. If it upsets you, tell me and I’ll throw it to the wolves outside.”

Slightly confused, I take a sip of my soda and watch as he pulls a deck of UNO cards out of his pocket. A hint of nostalgia and home hit me at once, but I tamper the tears down.

Mom, Dad, and I used to have heated battles every night I was home, and they are some of my best memories.

They begin playing like a movie in my mind and just as my emotions start to get the best of me, a loud bang sounds outside, snapping me out of memory lane.

Landon shakes his head and turns his attention back to me. “So, uh, do you want to play?”

I nod and watch as he deals the cards. He hands me my set of cards and places the drawing deck between us.

Landon nods for me to go first and I smirk when I see I have a hand full of wilds and I feel a smile spread across my face. Before placing my card down, I say, “Thank you for this. But just because this night…hell life is dark and deep, doesn’t mean I will go easy on you. This is my game and I don’t care if we have only known each other a few days. I will show no mercy.”

A laugh escapes him. “Oh, I have no doubt, Miss I just held a knife to some random’s jugular without an ounce of fear on her face. And just so you know. You can ask me about anything, anytime. Don’t ever feel like you can’t. I may not like the answer I have to give, but I promised I will always be honest with you, and I mean it. You are a strong girl Allie. Embrace it and know everyone can see it from miles away.”

And just like that, I feel what he had told me just a few minutes ago, a tiny ounce of pride knowing I took some power back into my hands.

Smiling, I say, “Just remember you asked for it.” And with that I lay down a draw four and watch as Landon shakes his head and matches mine with his own.

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