Page 139 of Forgiving Fate

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I can do this.

It is not your fault. One day, when you are settled for good, you will have a place for them. They are always with you. You do not need their bodies near to have them close.

My hand goes to the necklace and I move the pendants back and forth along the chain.

I can do this. It’s just Harrison. He is not judging you.

“No. Not yet. I wanted my mind to be right and to settle on a permanent living situation first before settling their memorials and assets. Sorry.” My voice cracks a little, but I let out a sigh of relief as I make it through the words I feel so guilty saying out loud.

Harrison leans forward and reaches for my hand. “Do not apologize. I just wanted to pay my respects to Shep and Stella. If you need help or if there is anything I can do, please let me, but know there is no rush. Healing doesn’t happen overnight and you can take all the time you need.”

Brushing a tear, that has the audacity to escape, away, I squeeze his hand once before letting go. “Dammit Harry. I missed you.”

“Missed you too Al. Both of you.” Harrison says, glancing at Logan who swipes at her face.

“Damn. We made Lolo cry. Clearly, we are all in need of sleep and maybe a drink.” Harrison says, chuckling and sitting back in his seat.

“Agreed. I won’t tell Lan that you made Allie cry. He will not be a happy robot,” Logan says, and I shake my head.

“Says the girl with a fiancé that would snap a traffic sign in half, even if she was the one that ran into it.”

“Hey!” Logan gasps.

Harrison and I both look to her and wait for her to continue, but she furrows her brows and looks up to the sky for a moment before shrugging. “You’re right, but jokes on you. I wouldn’t let him because if he fucked up those magic hands and couldn’t—”

“Okayyy. Public place Lo. There are children around,” I exclaim.

“What? I was going to say if he messed up his hands and couldn’t tattoo anymore, that it would be so sad.”

“Sureeeee Lolo. Now why don’t you two tell me more about how I can get a job up here to find a mountain man I can climb like a tree? I will gladly ditch my surfboard for snowshoes if that means I can have the look that Allie has on her face when thinking about Landon every day.”

We all laugh and everything fades away.

Crazy to think by just surrounding yourself with people that you love and you know care for you deeply changes things.

I am far from healed, but this version of myself is one I am starting to really like.

Landon

Ding.

Gray’s head pops up and we both look towards the front door of The Needle opening and our girls walking in, followed by who I assume is Harrison.

“Hi Lo. Hi Allie. It’s good to finally put a face to a name!” Cassie says as she moves around the front desk to hug the girls.

They all stand there for a moment, chatting and introducing Harrison before making their way back to us. Logan going on Grayson’s side of the table and Allie on the other side.

“Hey Bluebird.”

“Hi,” she says, leaning down to press a kiss to my lips.

I am about to say something to Harrison, but I notice Allie’s eyes are locked on my chest.

Her eyes shine, and a smile spreads across her face.

Etched in black are two hands locked in a pinky promise sitting at the base of a diamond filled with a scene depicting a large wave cresting with sun shining high in the sky.