Page 117 of Forgiving Fate

Slowly, I make my way around the room. I see my entire childhood and the start of my adulthood laid out in front of me. My old swim team jacket from high school hangs next to my University of Alabama cap and tassel. Directly next to it is Mom’s wedding dress and Dad’s tux.

My hands drift along the fabric of the clothing and the rough edges of the photo albums.

It almost feels like I am walking through a museum exhibit of my former life.

I glance up to see Logan, her arms wrapped around her body, tears shining in her eyes, with a smile on her face as she stares at a photo. Taking a few steps closer, so our shoulders brush, I see why she is smiling.

A large wooden frame holds the photo from Mom’s birthday at the Taylor Swift concert. Mom, Dad, and I all hold each other as purple lights shine around us.

Logan’s hand swipes away a tear as she says, “They truly were the best people in the world.”

“They were.”

Hours later and many tears shed, Logan sits on the bed while I sit in a large beanbag chair in the corner. Willow sleeps soundly on the smaller beanbag. Both of us are flipping through photo albums.

“You know, as a kid, I used to get so annoyed that mom always had a camera in my face. But now I’m happy she did.”

“Me too. If she didn’t, I wouldn’t get to see this,” Logan chuckles and holds up a photo of me as a kid, my hair sticking up in every direction, covered in blue paint.

“Hey. I was just seeing if I could make it into the Blue Man Group!”

We both laugh and continue flipping through the albums. Photo after photo. Memory after memory.

I pause on a photo of Logan and I laughing at the beach and flip it around to show Logan. A big smile spreads across her face and I say, “Remember when things were this easy? I sometimes wish we could go back to that time. Before everything went to…yeah.”

“Al?” I glance up and see Logan sitting up, her gaze locked with mine.

“Yeah?”

Logan shifts on the bed, and I can tell she is nervous. “Yesterday, you mentioned having to figure out what was true. What did you mean by that?”

Setting the photo down, I take a deep breath and brace myself to finally tell her the truth of why I couldn’t face her for so long.

“Before I tell you, remember what I said last night. I forgive you. I do not blame you. Okay?”

Logan nods, and I continue.

“Mike grabbed me after a long shift at the hospital. He hid in my car and knocked me out. It happened so fast that I didn’t even realize what was happening until I woke up in a basement days later. I was trapped in a metal cage and bruises covered my body. All I did was scream for the first few days as he asked me a million questions about you. I gave nothing away and everyday I didn’t, he would add another bruise. The days bled into each other, and so did the lies.

“He would sit there for hours and tell me about how you conspired together to kill your mom, and that I was your next target. You were both playing this long game of hide and seek that involved killing others that were foolish enough to fall for a sad and lonely girl. At first I didn’t believe him, but then he—”

Emotions clog my throat and I look up to the ceiling, begging for strength to allow me to continue.

You can do this.Mom’s voice filters through my head.

I can do this.

“I don’t know how much time passed, but one day I really pissed him off and he knocked me out. When I woke up, Mom and Dad were in the cell next to me. They were both full of bruises and confused. We tried for days to find an escape. As time drug on, I started to believe him, even though Mom and Dad were telling me to fight and ignore it. I really tried Lo. I swear I did, but the moment he–Fuck–killed them, I couldn’t. I had to sit there and watch the light drain from their eyes all while he was screaming at me that you planned this. I tried to ignore it. I really did, but the pain was unbearable and I just—”

Tears stream down my face, and Logan is off the bed and pulling me into her arms. “No. Don’t you dare apologize. That man was a psychopath. He had this way of convincing everyone to side with him, even if they knew it was wrong. You did nothing but protect yourself and your parents. None of this is your fault. It’s his. I’m so sorry. Sorry will never be enough to erase the pain, but that’s all I can say. You are strong and beautiful and fought so hard for the people you love.”

Leaning back, her glassy green eyes stare directly into mine, “You need to forgive yourself. You fought harder than anyone in this universe ever will, and they know that. You are beautiful. You are strong. You are badass, and I am honored to call you my best friend. Thank you for allowing me a chance to be a part of your family. Thank you for saving me, because if it wasn’t for you and your parents, I would not be here. And you can bet your ass that I will be here every step of the way while you navigate this next stage of life. I love you Al.”

My shoulders shake and I pull her back into my arms. “I love you too. So did they. I am so honored to have you as a sister. Thank you for giving me the space to navigate the lies.”

“Always. You’re stuck with me.”

We sit in silence, locked in each other’s embrace. The journey here may have been rocky, but I am so happy to be sitting here with her today.

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