Page 114 of Forgiving Fate

I chuckle and shake my head. “No. You don’t have to do that. I’m not going to kick your safe person out of his own house. If I feel odd or uncomfortable, I will tell you. I know I am not trapped there. It’s my decision, not anyone else’s.”

“He is, but you are my best friend and we have a lot to discuss. Gray is currently on a mission, but he will be home in a day or two, so if you do not want to talk around him, that is okay, too.”

Reaching over, I tap her arm. “Lo. I swear, it’s okay. I’ve worked through a lot the past few months and I can tell you with confidence, it was never being around men that was a trigger. It was the fact that I let someone put their hands on me and play puppet with my mind to the point I forgot who I was.”

Subtly, she adjusts her body to hide the look of sadness on her face. “I’m really sorry, Al.”

“I know.”

Tapping both hands on the steering wheel, she says, “Alright. Let’s get home. Get comfy and talk. I have a million and one things to say and I am ready to be out of this car and so is Willow.”

Falling onto the comfiest couch in the world, I let out a contented sigh. “Damn Lo. This place is incredible. And this couch? I would never leave.”

Logan tosses a blanket on me and pats the couch for Willow to jump up. “I know right! I can’t even tell you how many days Gray left me on the couch reading and came back after spending all day at work to find me in the exact same spot.”

I nod and pet Oliver, who attached himself to me as soon as I walked in the door.

“So. Do you have questions, or do you want me to just jump in and tell you why?” Logan asks.

Taking a deep breath, I mentally prepare myself for this conversation. It’s been a long time coming and I know it’s necessary. It just feels odd saying everything out loud, even if I’ve done it a million times with Dr. Kim.

“I don’t need you to tell me why, Lo, but I do have a lot of questions.Hemessed with my mind for weeks and I had to spend a lot of time trying to figure out what was the truth or somethinghemade me believe. But I will say this before we get into anything. I forgive you Lo. You were my best friend and still are. I just wish you would have told us because if there is anything we have learned from all of this, it is that we are stronger together. They may not be here anymore and they may not be able to speak for themselves, but I know if you would havetold them a sliver of the reality you were facing, they would have moved mountains to help you.”

Logan swipes at the first tears of many to come and nods. “Thank you for your forgiveness. You did not have to do that, but I have to admit, it feels great to hear. But just know that I will always regret not speaking up. Stella and Shepard were the best adoptive parents I could have ever asked for and I leaned on them in so many ways. I have thought so many times if I would have just let my fear fall away for a second and told them, they would still be here. I have made a ton of mistakes in my life, but that will forever be the worst one and I am so sorry Allie.”

I swipe at the tears sliding down my face. “I know, Lo, and I really appreciate that. I know now that you were just trying to protect us the best way you knew how.”

We both sit in silence for a moment, allowing each other to gather ourselves before I look at Logan. “Can I ask howhe died?”

Logan chuckles. “I killedhimthe same wayhekilled my mom.” Her eyebrows raise and she gives me a questioning yet sympathetic look. “How much detail do you want to know?”

“Everything. I need to know everything. The past year has been the toughest game of mental gymnastics ever. Information equals clarity, and that’s all I want right now.”

Logan pats her leg for Willow to come closer and runs her fingers through her hair. “My mom had a lot of mental health ailments that made my childhood rough. She tried her best, but at the end of the day, it was always me that had to take care of me. She would disappear into herself and alcohol, which meant that I had to fight Mike on my own. So when she said we were finally escaping on my birthday, I was ecstatic. It didn’t last long because on my birthday, I walked in to find her dead in my living room, her arms and wrists cut.”

She pauses to collect herself. “I had a feeling it washim, but never knew for certain untilhealmost killed me. So when Ifinally had the chance to meet him on a level where he was the smallest in the room, he confessed. So I let him go out the same way he took her away, just a little more…unhinged. I let him have all the pain and hurt he caused my mom and I and possibly caused you and your parents.”

Holy shit. I know I should be upset or even scared at the fact that my best friend was capable of such things, but I’m not. I’m proud of her. She got the revenge she and her mom so rightfully deserved.

“Wow. He deserved worse and part of me wishes I was there to witness the look in his eyes when he finally met his demise, but I am happy that he didn’t get off easy.”

“I know. And I’m sorry, but just know if I could bring him back and allow you to get your hands on him, I would.”

“I’ve thought about that a lot the past few months. I’ve wondered what it would be like if I ever had the chance to get revenge. What would I say or do? Trust me, Dr. Kim had to listen to me go into detail about what I would do to that man, but after weeks of going over everything in my mind, I realized that revenge isn’t what I need. What I need is clarity and to move forward, knowing that he tried to take me down, but he was no match for my inner strength. Me surviving was the best version of revenge.”

Tears flow down Logan’s face and she leans over Willow, bringing me into a hug. “I am so proud of you, Allison Paige. You are the truest definition of a warrior.”

Sobs overtake both of us. I know this is just the beginning and we have so much left to say, but I can say for certain, I am happy to be here in this moment, because to think I almost missed this chance at forgiveness would have meant that he won.

Chapter Forty-Two

Allie

“Hey Al?”

Turning around, I see Logan standing at the kitchen counter, making coffee.

“Yeah?”

---