Page 46 of Unraveled

“I’m getting the light,” she said, warning me, and I winced, blinking through the brightness when it came back on.

My hands rested on my hips as I focused on the floor, watching the lines and grooves in the wood as I continued to pace, waiting for my heart rate to come back down.

Izzy sat on her bed, watching me. I couldn’t look at her. Not yet. I headed to the bathroom, my limbs still shaky, and splashed some water on my face at the sink, dabbing it dry with a towel before turning around. My eyes finally met hers, finding questions, regret, guilt, concern. So many emotions were swirling through her gaze. We just stared, so much unspoken between us, but we heard every word.

Thistime, she felt it.

She finally understood what she’d left me alone to deal with.

“You should have told me.”

I walked over to sit on my bed, pulling the covers up over my crossed legs, and Izzy shifted to face me. “You had your own nightmares,” I finally answered, my voice sounding dead.

“And that’s the biggest BS response you could give me.Annie, that’s not just a nightmare. You couldn’tbreathe.” She pressed a hand to her chest. “If I’d known. I mean, I knew you’d mentioned nightmares before, andyes, I should have sucked up my own problems to check in on you when I found out, but Ineverimaginedanythinglike that. Why didn’t Ifeelwhen you had them?”

I popped a shoulder, my index finger tapping at my toes through the blanket, the touch of something soft reassuring me I was here, not there. “You did. I know you did sometimes, at least.”

“What? When?”

“There were times you or Tucker would mention you jolting awake. Sometimes you’d even gasp for breath, but you didn’t know why. You couldn’t remember the dream. Y’all always assumed it was about Zoey. I know a lot of nights it was, but sometimes, it wasmydream that woke you up.”

Izzy dropped her head, and I watched her hard swallow before she brushed a few tears from her cheeks. “Oh, my God. Sis… I’m such an awful person. An awful sister.”

“You didn’t know.”

“And that makes it okay? You are literally traumatized over what happened to Mom, but you’ve beenhidingit from me.”

“Because I didn’t want to have totellyou I needed you. You used to just know. And you were going through enough.” I hardened my voice then. As much as feeling her absence gutted me, I’d make the same choice. I wouldalwaysmake sure she was okay first.

She shook her head. “Don’t do that. Don’t make yourself the martyr. As much as you want to take care of me?Iwant to take care ofyou. I dropped the ball, yes, but I wasnumbon the inside in so many ways formonths. I wasn’t pulling away. I was in literal survival mode. If I didn’t realize what was happening,you should have told me,” she stressed, giving me a stern look. She shook her head, her frustration with me clear. “DoesJeteven know how bad it is?”

“He saw it. Once. But it wasn’t as intense, and it was before Nic moved into his room. I can’t even sneak into his bed on those bad nights anymore.”

“So, what do you do? Go throughthatevery time?” She threw her arm out to the room where I’d been pacing.

“Not always. Tonight’s was bad. It was worse than most of them. Usually when one hits, I grab my headphones and go for a run. They don’t happen all the time. A couple of nights a week, tops, but when I have one, it’s vicious. Way worse than it used to be. Like the worse my stress gets, the worse the nightmare becomes. And the worse the nightmares get, the worse my stress gets. It’s a vicious cycle.”

Izzy closed her eyes and ran her fingers back through her hair, taking a deep breath before dropping her hands onto her lap. “I just wish I had known. About the nightmares, how much you’ve been stressing over everything, all of it.” She got up and crossed the space between our beds, and like we’d done a million times while growing up, I lifted the covers and scooted over to make room.

Izzy crawled in next to me, and we clutched each other’s hands above the covers, our heads touching and hair mixing together on the pillow.

“I am so sorry I wasn’t here for you. Thank you for protecting me and putting me first. But you are mysister. I never want you to go through anything like this alone. And because I think you need to hear it, even if I missedthis, I did feelotherthings from you. Our connection was my lifeline sometimes.” I closed my eyes with a tight swallow, and Izzy squeezed my hand with hers. “We’re a set, sis. It’s you and me together.”

“Always,” our voices mixed in the dark, and I felt the rest of that weight lift from my chest, air finally reaching my lungs again.

Chapter 15

ANNIE

“I’m so glad the sun’s out again. It feels great. Doesn’t it feel great?” Emma sighed the next day from the lifeguard chair beside mine, but she was way too excited for what I was up for.

“Yep, nothing like a warm sunny day,” I said through a yawn, appeasing her as I shifted in my chair. Needing to stay alert. I blinked, my brow pulling up as I worked to keep my eyes open. But I was exhausted.

Izzy and I had stayed up talking for a couple of hours last night, and while it had felt great at the time, it had been equally torturous dragging myself out of bed this morning.

Combine that with Jet showing up angry with me an hour into my shift and it was turning out to be agreatmorning. Freaking Izzy spilling the beans. Jet felt bad enough not being there for me without having to know how severe my nightmares were now. I hadn’t told him for a reason, knowing there wasn’t really anything he could do.

I glanced over to where Jet was playing a game of volleyball with Nic and the guys and couldn’t help but drag my eyes along his sweaty, shirtless chest.

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