Page 44 of Unraveled

“Mind if I stay in here with you tonight?”

“Really?” I dialed back my excitement for a second. “Everything with Tucker okay?”

“Yeah.” She closed the door and ran around our beds on her tiptoes, the outline of her form bending to turn on her old nightlight. “So much better.” She sighed and pulled back her covers. “What?” She paused when she saw me still watching her, one knee on her bed.

“I’m just surprised you’re not staying with Tucker. You’re sure everything’s okay? You usually only stay in here when y’all fight or something.”

“We’re not fighting. I promise. He suggested I stay with you and get some sister time in. He’s right down the hall if I need him. That, and it’s also a good way for us to try to start sleeping apart sometimes since we might have to next year.”

I was excited until that last part, and my face dropped with my stomach. “Sounds good. Let me know how it goes.” I crawled under the covers, giving her my back as tears pricked behind my eyes.

“Annie?” I could hear her coming around the bed.

“No. It’s fine.”

“Obviously not.” She squatted down in front of me, and I rolled away, not wanting her to see I was trying not to cry. Too mad right now and hurt.

“Okay, seriously. What’s going on? I thought you were happy I was in here a minute ago.”

“I was.”

“So, then what, sis? Tucker mentioned you were having a hard time, so I’m here. I want to spend time with you, but it’s pointless if you’re like this.”

“Oh, my God. Do you even hear yourself?” I threw my covers back to glare over my shoulder, finding Izzy standing there with her hands on her hips. Any urge I had to cry was gone. Now, I was just pissed.

“What?” Izzy threw her arms out. “What am I doing wrong?”

I rolled my eyes and turned away again. “No wonder Tucker gets so annoyed sometimes.”

I felt the sting in her chest in mine, making me regret that comment. But not by much. I hated what it was like between us right now. Especially that she couldn’t see it.

Listening as Izzy inhaled a deep breath, knowing she was searching for patience, I felt her sit on my bed behind me. Her hand rested on my arm, and my heart throbbed in my chest.

Missing it. Hoping.

Shutting it all out.

Like I’d been shutting everything out.

Shoving it all back for as long as my body would let me.

“Talk to me, sis.”

“Just go, Izzy. Try your experiment in another room tonight. I’m not in the mood.”

I knew she was frowning without even looking. I knew her so well.

But it felt like she barely knew me or even saw me anymore.

“I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t have told you that part, but I was being honest. If I can’t stay with Tucker, you’re my next safe place to turn to. He’s my rock, but you’ve always been my tether. My home.”

“Funny. It hasn’t felt like that in a while now.”

“What do you mean?”

Relenting to the conversation, I rolled to my back, my eyes fixed on the ceiling instead of her. “You didn’t evenknowthat I needed you. You haven’t known it formonths.Which Iget. Ahugepart of me gets it. You were grieving,aregrieving, and I gladly relinquished you to Tucker. You needed him. Not me. ButIstill neededyou, and even now when you’re getting better, you haven’t noticed it. Tucker had totellyou that I needed time with you, and that’s just because he saw me about to break down today.”

It was like a weight was eased from my chest. Notgonebut shifted so there was some relief from the pressure. I’d been holding back for so long. For so long I’d had to, but now that I knew Izzy was doing better andstillcouldn’t read me? That vent just now was well deserved.

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