Page 71 of Broken

Me: You didn’t need to rest before telling Jet.

Tucker: He texted first.

Me: And how long did it take for you to get back to him? Probably not hours. You could’ve texted me.

I knew I was coming across bitchy, but I was hurt, and I was tired of this stupid fight. Scared of what it meant that it had drawn out this long. My heart clenched.

Tucker: Don’t be like this, Izzy.

Me: Like what?

It was like I couldn’t turn it off.

Tucker: Needy.

Tucker: Controlling.

I sucked in a breath when I saw both texts coming in. One each a second after the other. And I dropped my phone into my bag, now trying not to cry.

TUCKER

I was officially the worst boyfriend ever. I knew I was being a jerk, but it just kept flying out of my fingertips like vomit. When Izzy went silent after my last texts, I tossed my phone aside with a sigh of relief even as my stomach twisted in torment.

I didn’t know how to talk to her right now. About any of it. And pushing off the conversation seemed easier in some ways than having her press me for the truth.

I just hated hurting her.

And right now, that was going to happen either way.

I’d snapped at her after our appointment on Friday, bitterness I didn’t even know I’d been suppressing bubbling up after hearing everything from the doctor. And yeah, it was partly myfault for not remembering protection our first night together, but if Izzy had just paid attention with her medication, if she’d just let me get her the plan B, just in case if nothing else, then we probably wouldn’t be in this mess right now.

But you are.

Fuck, I know.I scraped my hands over my face and fell back against my bed, the headboard creaking with the jolt of pressure. My conscience was being a real dick about everything. Izzy didn’t even know the real reason I was still holding back from her. I’d honestly gotten over the plan B thing days ago. Like I said...that night had been partly my fault, too.

No, my holding back was so much more than that.

And I was terrified to tell her why.

Maybe I don’t really need to tell her. Maybe, if I just wait a while, it’ll be fine.

I could only hope.

Needing a distraction from my own thoughts, I pushed myself up and grabbed my headphones and some dumbbells before straddling my weight bench. If I couldn’t fix it yet, then I could at least make myself try to forget.

Yeah…forgetting was apparently bullshit. I’d been in my head about everything all damn day, and even basketball wasn’t the distraction I was needing it to be.

“Dribble it, pass it, we want a basket,” the cheerleaders chanted as I dribbled the ball down the court at that night’s game. I looked for an opening, spotting Mateo, his head way above the nearby players, and I passed him the ball. With only a pivot, he took the shot, the ball making nothing but net.

The crowd went wild.

I didn’t even care. All I wanted to do right now was turn and look at Izzy in the stands. See if she felt as badly as I did. If this fight of ours was eating her up as much as it was me. But I couldn’t. One look her way and I’d be dragging us both off this court to fix it.

And then I’d be benched.

My future in basketball might be a longshot now, but I wasn’t ready to jeopardize what was left of it.

I needed to salvage what of my life, of both of ours, that I could.

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