Page 94 of Finding Fate

Annie wanted to cry. She knew he was upset, but she didn’t know how to fix it. “Babe,” she decided to try.

He sighed and went stare out the window when she chickened out. “Nothing?” he asked. “You can’t tell me anything?”

She gave the slightest shrug, her fingers going to trace the cuticles of her toes, hating herself for ruining things, again, especially when they’d actually been able to sneak away today.

Jet’s shoulders tensed, not knowing what to make of her silence. He just wanted her to talk to him. He couldn’t fix things if he didn’t know what was wrong. “There’s got to be something. I mean, am I that bad at it?” he started, finally turning to face her. “Am I doing something wrong? Do you not want this anymore? Us?” he asked, pointing between them, desperately searching for an answer.

Annie cringed a little at his words, but jumped up, needing to reassure him. She clutched his arm, refusing to let him look away again. “No, babe. Please, don’t ever think that. I love you. This has nothing to do with that. And no, you are definitely not bad at it.”

She felt at least some of his tension leave, and she took the moment to grab his hand. He looked at her with those ocean blue eyes so full of sadness and confusion, and it made her ache to know it was because of her.

“So I’m doing something wrong then?” he asked, almost hopefully. “Just tell me, and I’ll fix it.”

“No,” she shook her head, her messy ponytail loose and bobbing from what they’d just shared. “It’s nothing about you. It’s all me; I swear,” she promised.

“Then tell me, Annie,” Jet begged. “Things haven’t been the same for months. You tense up almost as soon as we start. Your head’s not even there sometimes. I know when you’re into it and when you’re not, and it’s a lot of not lately. Then today you faked it?” he shook his dark head in disgust. “Even if I never get you off again, don’t you fake it with me. Ever. Nothing about us has ever been fake.”

“You’re right,” she agreed. “I’ve been messing up, but in my slight defense, I wasn’t sure what the problem was at first either. Then it was just embarrassing and stupid, so I didn’t want to talk about it. I’m sorry.”

Jet nodded, relieved that they might actually get somewhere. He pulled her against his chest, wrapping his arms around her, needing her comfort despite their tension.

Annie pulled back and tugged at his hand, leading him back to their favorite beanbag. She paused for Jet to sit, and took her spot on his lap. “I really feel stupid about this,” she started.

“I’m not judging.”

She smiled. “I know. The deal is, I’ve been nervous and tense and all caught up in my head every time because I’m afraid of getting pregnant like Izzy.”

His brow scrunched in confusion. “But you’re on,”

“It’s not working right,” she interrupted his stumbling. “My cycle’s acting all weird with it, and my doctor’s already had me try three different kinds. Not to mention if I don’t take it regularly, it’s not as effective either.” She sighed. “I’m watching Izzy go through all of these changes, and I’ve made myself way too paranoid about it.”

Jet nodded, doing his best to understand as he pointed out, “We are still using condoms, though.”

“Yeah, and I keep telling myself that, but,” she paused, chewing on her bottom lip.

“But you’re still afraid.”

She nodded.

“Okay, at least I know what I’m working with, now,”Jet thought as he smoothed the pad of his thumb over her lips to still her bite. “I’m glad you told me. We’ll figure something out,” he assured her.

She nodded again as her Fitbit buzzed. “Where are y’all?” she read the text at her wrist, nerves immediately starting to swarm her stomach.

“Sweetheart, calm down,” Jet said to her for the umpteenth time since they’d transferred to the Dearly’s back porch to wait for their friends. “You’re worrying too much about this. I’m sure Izzy will be too excited about baby news to get upset about it.”

Annie stopped pacing to give her boyfriend a look that said ‘you have got to be kidding me.’

“I’m serious.”

“I am, too. You know she hates it when I interfere. Remember last summer?” She started pacing again.

“Okay, yeah. I’ll give you that, but she and Tucker were really excited about that appointment today.”

“And then I killed the happy vibe! Oh, she’s going to be so mad.”

Jet put his hands on her upper arms to stop her pacing. “Annie, look at me. It’s going to be okay. We did it because we love them.”

“Tucker will get that, but Izzy?” she argued.

---