Page 141 of Finding Fate

TOO PRECIOUS FOR EARTH

Tears ran silently down his face, but he knew he had to pull himself together. “I’m so sorry, baby girl. I have to go find your mommy,” he whispered before standing up to leave.

He jumped in his truck the second he reached it and turned on the engine while simultaneously throwing on his seatbelt. As he tore away from the parking lot, his heart in shreds, he pressed his mind for anything that might lead him to his love.

“The church?”he wondered, turning into the drive just down the road. Maybe she had needed to take solace there. He was tempted himself if he was honest. Circling the large white building, he looked for any sign of the old Ford that would tell him Izzy could be there, but no. At a loss again, he pulled back to the main road, refusing to give up.

* * *

Isabel walked in the same direction she had been driving, fighting against the backward pull of the wind that blew the thin silk of her pajamas against her skin. She shivered violently as she walked, each time regretting her previous haste that caused her to leave without a jacket. At least, she had made it out with a shoe on her foot.

Not too long after she left the protective walls of her truck, she reached the stretch of beach, her boot clunky and awkward in the gritty, cold sand while her heart throbbed mercilessly in her chest, overwhelming.

But the pull she felt here was strong, and she no longer cared about reaching a phone, simply following where her steps led her. They seemed to know where she wanted to be. Her mind sure couldn’t tell her. The edges screamed in protest.

The cold sunk deeper as she drew closer to a nearby pier, still not quite reaching that significant spread of sand. Drawn closer to the water, she stopped at the edge of its torrential beauty, the surface broken and choppy. The breeze from the ocean chilled her to the point where her broken bones tingled and ached, but what was more important was how she could feel the numbness slowly coming back. She waited for it to return, anxious for it to take over so she wouldn’t have to feel the wretched pain that tore at her heart. But it never did, not completely.

Instead, her pain was deadened just enough so that she found it bearable to think about what had previously sent her into the destructive overload. She wondered for a moment what it would feel like in those waves, to have them thrash around her as her emotions so desperately wished to do. She dismissed it quickly. She’d meant it earlier, that she had no desire to die.

Realizing this, she sunk down against the large wooden post of the pier, drawing her knees up to clutch them as the ocean’s tide played tauntingly around her. The urge to cry crept in again, but she was afraid it might make the numbness fade, so she resisted and let her mind wander to where she couldn’t before.

Her father had said the parent goes first, and in their case, it was true. It was unfair that her father had to leave when he was young, still in his thirties, but at least the order of it was right. What about Destiny?

What was someone supposed to do when the order had been forcefully reversed? She hadn’t even gotten the chance to meet her baby. Was it supposed to hurt less because she hadn’t? She didn’t see how. She had loved her baby completely from the moment she knew she was there, growing inside her.

Isabel slid a hand against her now flat stomach and winced at the jolt she felt in her chest. Destiny was no longer a part of her, and she wasn’t sure how she’d ever get past knowing her daughter would have been a beautiful, healthy human being in just a few months time if she hadn’t been so stupid and careless, how she’d ever get past it all without Tucker.

She wondered what her father would say. He had mentioned how he’d be waiting on the other side to give that special guy a piece of his mind if he didn’t appreciate her heart, but what would he say to her now that he knew it wasn’t the guy that had hurt her. She had hurt him. Perhaps he’d tell her what she deserved to hear that no one here seemed willing to say. That she was a murderer. A murderer to her baby, Tucker’s heart, and their relationship.

She and Tucker had known it was fate that brought them together. It was their destiny to be together, but now Destiny was gone. It was all her fault. She had killed their baby, and in doing so, she had killed their destiny. Fate didn’t matter now. She deserved everything she got.

Except that money. It wouldn’t have solved everything. They would still have had sacrifices they were too young to make, but the benefits were hard to ignore. She and Tucker could have really made their commitment official, for most previous reasons for waiting would no longer have been of concern.

But more important than anything else, it would have given them what they needed to provide for their daughter. Now, it could just sit there, serve as a reminder of what she had done.

“I’ve ruined absolutely everything. Things can never be the same again, including all of our friendships,” she thought, her face crumpling with depressing realization.

Isabel tried to imagine what their group’s friendship would be like now that she and Tucker couldn’t be together and had to growl at herself in frustration. She hadn’t even listened to her own reason, ignoring those boundaries that had been safe guarding her for years. Their friendship couldn’t go back to the way it was before. Nothing could. And that too was her fault.

A yawn escaped her, and she realized her exhaustion. She had shut out those thoughts for nearly a month now, and allowing herself to think about all the harm she had caused was more than she was used to dealing with anymore. She closed her eyes and let her mind drift through lingering thoughts.

* * *

Tucker gave up on finding Izzy anywhere in Bentonville after the church. Annie had texted that she and Jet had just checked the beach, so he knew that was a bust. He was running out of places to look.

“The studio!” he realized with a fresh burst of excitement. Suddenly relieved his girlfriend’s dance partner had insisted he take his number, Tucker used the system in his truck to call Leo. He waited anxiously through every ring, knowing it was a long shot with the current time, but he’d had to try.

Voicemail. He left a quick message and hung up, going to plan B.

The drive to Summer Grove would take up a chunk of time, but if Izzy was there, he had to get to her. He was only about five minutes out of town when Leo’s text came through.

“Jumping in my car now. Five minutes. If she’s not there, I’m searching, too.”

Fuck, why did he have to like this guy? He’d seen some of the things Izzy had to do for dance, and this guy had held her and touched certain places before he ever did. It was different, he knew, but still. “Not the time, Tucker,” he cautioned himself, searching a few back roads she might be taking while he waited for Leo’s reply.

His phone buzzed with the text, and his heart dropped as he read.

“Not there. I’m checking a few of our hang outs. Keep me posted.”

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