Page 24 of New Year

“Do you think my first choice was a girl who thinks I’m a sanctimonious prick?”

“Well, I’m sorry you drew the short straw,” I say. “Maybe you can trade for Todd, and I’ll go with Katy.”

“Whatever you want.”

“What, you don’t like Todd either?” I ask, noting his dark tone.

“No.”

“Wow,” I say. “For someone who’s supposedly a good Christian, you sure have beef with a lot of people. Shouldn’t you be more forgiving and not judge people?”

“Thanks, I’ll work on that.”

I grit my teeth and march on, refusing to give him anything else. I thought Chase was infuriating, but Oliver is downright insufferable.

After a miserable fifteen minutes, we hear sirens, and a horn, and then a text comes through on Oliver’s phone. He pulls it out and glances at me with a grimace. “They found a car.”

My throat constricts, and my heart starts hammering wildly. I pull out my phone and text Meghan, hoping she’s not too far in and can take my sister back to the car so she doesn’t see anything that will scar her for life.

“Come on,” Oliver says, reaching for my hand. I grab on, our earlier argument forgotten as we stumble on for another five minutes before coming out on the riverbank. Two police units are already there, blue lights flashing. A tow truck is backing down to the water, which has gone down a lot since last time we looked. A group in dive gear is dragging chains into the water from the truck.

“Shit,” I whisper, my legs going to jelly. “Do you think it’s them?”

Oliver pulls me in, holding me tight to his side. I stand there numbly while the police try to get us to disperse. No one listens. More and more people are appearing from the woods, standing along the tree line in pairs and groups, watching and waiting as the divers go down to hook up the car. It takes forever, and a few people leave, the rest congregating in grim silence. Our group slowly forms around Lindsey and Chase, so I stumble over with Oliver.

At last, they start to pull. The big tires on the tow truck sink and skid in the mud, leaving furrows in the riverbank.Finally, it moves forward. The water sloshes, and a shape takes form, and finally it emerges—the slick hood of a Ferrari.

And then, with an ear-piercing shriek, Lindsey collapses into Chase’s arms.

nine

Now Playing:

“Them Bones”–Alice in Chains

The rest of January is consumed by the tragedy. Even though the kids didn’t go to FHS, everyone feels it when something like that happens. And in this town, they feel it especially when it’s a founding son, the town’s golden boy who was supposed to marry the mayor’s daughter. It’s all anyone talks about.

Everyone who’s ever met Devlin Darling wants to share the story—how he always shook hands graciously after the football games, win or lose; how well he tipped at restaurants; one crazy antic or another that the Darling boys got up to at parties over the years. People of all ages post on social media with prayers for their safe return, with pictures of Devlin playing football or serving pancakes at a fundraiser or dancing with the mayor’s daughter at the family Christmas party. Fellowship of Christian Athletes hosts prayer circles after school every day for a week to pray for the safe return of their fellow Christian athlete.

Lindsey is even more revered at school, a tragic queen grieving a heartbreaking loss. Everyone wants to be there for her, to support her, be the shoulder she chooses to cry on.

Sometimes, in my darkest moments, I wonder if they’ve all forgotten that someone else disappeared that day. That someone else is missing. That another family is mourning.

Sometimes, I wonder if she was invisible the way I used to be, or if she’s just forgotten the way I would be now. If I disappeared with Chase tomorrow, everyone would do thesame thing they’re doing now. I’d be less than an afterthought. I remember that day on the lakeshore last summer, a million years ago, when I confessed to him that no one would notice if I was gone, no one would remember who I was, and he said, “I’d remember.”

I try to do that for Devlin’s girlfriend, even though I’ve never met her, have only seen the official picture that was shown on the news. When I’m praying for Lindsey’s family as I fall asleep, I slip in a secret, traitorous prayer for the enemy family, for the Dolce girl who vanished like a whisper while the Darling boy’s absence created a roar.

No bodies were found with the car that day, but two weeks after it was pulled from the river, I’m doing homework while the adults watchLocal News with Jackiewhen the chief of police comes on. They’re holding a press conference to announce that they’re calling off the search parties and concluding their investigation with the certainty that the two parked by the river and didn’t notice the water rising until too late, and the car washed away in the flash flooding on New Year’s Eve.

I shiver at the thought of what I was doing on that fateful night. I remember how hard the rain was coming down, how it felt when Oliver pushed me up against the wall while it poured around us. I think about what I secretly did when he was grinding against me, how mad he’d be if he knew, and what kind of punishment a girl gets for that kind of sin in his world. Surely it’s not the death of two innocent people who snuck out to do the same thing in a car, since they were too scared of being caught to do it at home.

Aunt Diana says that means the two kids are presumed dead, but after the press conference, a sober-faced reporter interviews Mr. Dolce, who was in attendance. He says they’re not giving up hope, and they’re going to continue searching usingprivate investigators, and he makes a call for anyone who has any tips or information that might lead them to his daughter.

He’s flanked on either side by two stone-faced, hollow-eyed boys who look so familiar it’s impossible not to flash back to the yearbook picture of Dad.

The Fab 4 hanging in the quad.

If there are any Darlings in attendance, they don’t talk to the press.

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