Page 8 of Pied Sniper

“I couldn’t agree more.” I turned as footsteps approached and Solomon joined us. “I’ve picked my car,” I told him.

“And I ran interference with Wesley,” he said. “What a pain in the ass! Which car did you pick?”

“That one,” I said, pointing to the vehicle we stood next to.

“Lexi,” said Solomon.

“What?”

“It’s exactly the same as your last car.”

I smiled. “But it’s much shinier and this one has an engine and four wheels.”

An hour later, the paperwork was done and Kelly promised delivery of the car, fully gassed up, by the end of the week. I left the dealership smiling.

“Where to now? Shall we celebrate?” asked Solomon. “We could buy some ovulation kits and a bottle of champagne.”

I checked my watch. “You romantic soul,” I said, reaching to kiss him. “But remember my date? I promised Lily I would watch a live vlog with her? We’re probably going to have dinner too. Want to come?”

“I’m still not sure what a vlog is,” he said, frowning. “It sounds painful.”

“Only because it sounds like ‘flog’. It’s a livestream video. Similar to reality TV but anyone can make a video and upload it. Come over and do your uncle thing with Poppy and I’ll catch a cab home later.”

“Okay,” he agreed. “Let’s pick up dinner on the way. Call Lily and find out if Jord will be there too. He eats like a horse.”

After confirming that Jord would be home and agreeing on Chinese food, I called in the order and Solomon and I picked it up on the way. We parked on Lily’s driveway next to Jord’s car and rang the doorbell. Lily answered it with Poppy on her hip. Poppy wore a onesie with a hood that had ears on it. She looked like a koala with a human face, which was both disconcerting and cute. I wanted one. A baby, not a koala, although I would take the koala too. How much hard work could one adorable, little tree-climber be?

“Yex!” squealed Poppy as she held out her baby arms. I reached to take her and she batted my hands and bounced towards Solomon. He caught her as she lunged at him. “Yex!”

“Uncle John,” I corrected. “Say Un-cle Jooo-hn!”

“Yex!” said Poppy.

“Don’t be offended,” said Lily. “She called me Dada three times already. She thinks Solomon is Lexi.”

“Who does she think I am?” I asked, blowing her kisses.

Poppy’s face turned stony. “No,” she said, burying her face into Solomon’s chest. He patted her back.

“She’s yours now,” said Lily. “I can finally eat my food hot! This is so exciting! Can you come over every night around this time?”

“Do I look pregnant?” I asked.

Lily’s jaw dropped. “Ohmygosh! Are you?”

“No. And I’m throwing away this sweater.” I walked past her towards the kitchen with the bags of food.

“The car salesman implied she looked pregnant,” explained Solomon. Then he added, “With twins,” as I cringed.

“Is he dead now?” asked Lily, following us.

“Almost. He’s commission-free.”

“Next best thing,” she decided. Pointing to the clock, she added, “We have less than an hour to eat and put Poppy to bed. Then we can assemble the cocktail ingredients and enjoy the rest of the evening.”

“I smell dinner,” said Jord, coming into the kitchen. He nodded at Solomon, punched me on the shoulder and started rummaging through the bags. Then his cellphone rang. “My partner,” he announced, answering it as he walked out of the kitchen.

“If we’re quick, we’ll get to grab some food before Jord comes back and eats the rest of it,” said Lily. She reached for plates from the cabinet and handed them to me before searching through a drawer, and emerging triumphantly with chopsticks.

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