Page 6 of In the Line of Ire

"Viralvideos like those get a pay-per-click fee. The more views theyreceive, the more money they get paid," she explained.

"Really?"

"Yep."

"I wantit taken down now and terminated forever. I'm going to complain." Ishot to my feet, fully determined to achieve my goal, before Irealized I had no idea why standing up would make any difference soI sat down again.

"On whatgrounds? You need to convince the person who shot the video. Theaccount is called Purple Monster."

"Do youthink they'll be listed in the phone book?" I askedskeptically.

"I thinkit's probably a pseudonym," said Lily. "There are strict rules onnaming your children."

"Notstrict enough," I said, considering some of the ridiculous namesI'd heard. "How do I find Purple Monster? I can't walk the streetsshouting it out. People will think I'm crazy." All I knew aboutPurple Monster was that the videographer must have shot it fromacross the street. Which meant they might have a business in thegeneral area of Lily's Bar. If they lived in Montgomery, I might beable to find them… eventually… although it would take a lot of timeand effort. If the person were just passing through town, it wouldalmost certainly be impossible to identify them. Locating them andpersuading them to take the video taken down would be even harderwork, and if any money were involved, all the more difficult. Iwondered if I could even find the videographer with the scantinformation I had. Perhaps I should begin by making a list ofsurveillance cameras in the area? Maybe call in Lucas's technicalexpertise? No, scrap that. Lucas would want to know the reasonwhy.

"Theydon’t already?" asked Lily as she winked.

"Ha-ha.Is that math correct? Only fourteen thousand people might havewatched it?" I could only wonder.

Lilynodded. "Pretty close. It could have been seven thousand people whowatched it twelve times each."

"You'rejust trying to make me feel better. You just want ninety-threethousand people to visit the bar."

"Not allat the same time but yeah."

"That'sstill a lot of people laughing at me."

"It’snot the first time. And it won't be the last."

Recalling some of the hideous headlines I'd inadvertentlyinstigated in the past few years made me seriously consider if nowwere a good time to think about leaving town. Perhaps Solomon and Icould start somewhere completely new? Somewhere far away andremote. Possibly tropical! We could live the simple life in athatched hut on a beach, drinking smoothies from coconut shellsthat dropped from the nearby palm trees and we could bathe in allthe gorgeous waterfalls. There would be no mysteries. No dangerouspeople. And, more crucially, no video cameras. However, knowing myluck, we'd probably be raided by pirates on our first day inparadise.

"Solomonbought me a gift," I said, changing the topic.

"Ooh,really? What?"

"Thatpurse I wanted."

Lilysquealed. "No!"

"Yes,but also no. It was a fake."

Lilyobserved me for any sign of a joke. When she realized I wasn'tkidding, her jaw dropped. "No! Did you tell him? Did he know it wasa fake?"

Inodded, my face more serious. "I did tell him, and he didn't know.He bought it at the mall from a store there, Heavenly Handbags.There's no way they would knowingly sell a fake!"

"Hedefinitely bought it from there?"

"It wasin their gift box, their bag, and he had their receipt. All of thatwas authentic except for the purse, which wasn't."

"That'sterrible. What is he going to do about it?"

"He tookit back this morning. I think he's pretty steamed about the wholething. He's also embarrassed that he got taken in by a fake but Idon't see how he could have known it was. The quality was prettygood and purses are not his general forte."

"Do youthink all the purses they sell there are fakes? I bought one therelast year."

"I'm sure someone would notice if theyallwere. I didstraightaway."

"You,however, are a connoisseur in the field of accessories."

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