Page 34 of Very Special Forces

"Gotcha.And the ladies aren't for me. They're to entice the guys intoheading off base. Send me the address of the bar and I’ll make surewe're there."

As soonas we hung up, I called Lily at the bar and asked her to reserve atable. "Your infamous Army buddies," she breathed when I explained,her excitement almost lost in the awe. "I cannot wait."

"Youcan't tell anyone I went to boot camp with some of them. I'mundercover."

"Well,damn. I have a list of questions to ask them about your time inservice."

"How canyou have a list? I only just told you they would be there."Already, I regretted it. Why did I pick Lily's bar? Why didn't Isay I would meet them somewhere else later?

"Istarted compiling an inventory from when you enlisted. I have a lotof questions."

"I cananswer whatever questions you have?"

"Okay.What was the craziest thing you did when in boot camp?"

Ithought about it, winced and decided that was a story I'd nevertell. "Nothing. I was a model cadet," I lied.

Lilymade a rude noise. "Okay. How about this? Did you get up to anyinappropriate behavior while in training?"

"None whatsoever." Also a story — no,stories— that I would never tell.Not even to my best friend.

"If Ioffer free drinks, will I hear anything that will shockme?"

Ithought about that for a whole second. "Do not, under anycircumstances, offer free drinks."

"I knewit," she said. "Tell them the first pitcher of beer is on thehouse. Don't be late. You need to get into your uniform before theengagement party starts. If you're going undercover, you have tolook the part."

"Whatuni... Lily? Lily!" Lily had already hung up. "Terrific," Imuttered. The uniform couldn't be that bad. I'd been in Lily's manytimes, and helped out on occasions too, but she never made me wearanything awful before. One time, however, I made her wear the buttend of a plush pony costume so there was always a chance she wassecretly waiting to get me back for that.

Juliaand her fiancé, Bryce, didn't seem the type to ask for any partytheme that would be considered truly horrific so Lily was probablyjust messing with me. Or was she? Once or twice I suspected Lilywas an evil genius and this could have been one of those timessince I was now in a worried state.

Withonly an hour to go until I was due at the bar, I didn't haveanymore time for fruitless searching for the magical disappearingtank. Admitting defeat, for the day anyway, I packed my work thingsaway and headed for my freshly detailed car.

Therewas a small area reserved for parking behind Lily's bar and Imanaged to squeeze my car in between Lily's car and a rust bucketthat I was pretty sure belonged to Ruby, our friend and Lily's mosttrusted employee. I entered through the back door and could alreadyhear soft music drifting from the bar and the noisy buzz of thearriving post-work crowd.

"Great!You're here!" said Lily. She stuck her head out of her office andgrinned.

"Youtold me not to be late."

"Ididn't think you'd take me seriously. You can't wear that," shesaid, waving a hand over my jeans and blouse. "This bar is sexychic, not..." She wrinkled her nose, her brain clearly ticking overas she searched for a word.

I lookeddown. Yes, the blouse was the wrong color for Lily's employees andso were the jeans. Ruby was wearing black jeans so that waspromising. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"It'snot going to increase your tips."

"I'm notworking for big tips. I'm working strictly forinformation."

"Can Ihave her tips?" asked Ruby as she walked past and disappeared intothe stock room. A moment later, she emerged with a bucket oflemons.

"Howgood are the tips likely to be?" I asked, growingcurious.

"Zero ifyou’re dressed in that. Pretty good if you wear our new cocktailwaitress uniform," said Lily.

"That'ssexist."

"It'snot that bad," said Lily. "You get to wear a bra."

"I'veseen the outfits you wore in those weird bars you used to work at.Your baseline for 'not that bad' is different to everyoneelse's."

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