Page 59 of Be Courageous

Ruby spoke up again, jarring his concentration with her words. “I’m going to stay with my sister for a few days.”

What?The steering wheel wobbled in his grip. “Why?” A sick feeling rolled through him. Was this the beginning of something insurmountable between them?

“I just need…some time away from us.”

Us?He had to tear his horrified gaze off her profile to keep from crashing into the guardrail. After stabbing on the hazard lights, Tony edged their rental off the highway and into the breakdown lane, where he turned in his seat to face her. “I don’t understand. You gotta know I love you, no matter what. Ruby, I forgive you for not telling me about the baby. It’s no big deal.”

Oh, those were the wrong words.

Her eyes had turned into turquoise ponds that overflowed. Her chin quivered adorably. “I love you, too, Tony. But right now, I don’t love myself. I kept you in the dark when I shouldn’t have.”

“Ruby.”

“Just let me talk. I don’t deserve you, Tony. I never have.”

“Please, don’t say that.” His heart thudded with dread that she would end their marriage over this. He tried groping for her good hand, but she pulled it out of reach. “You’re amazing, Bella.”

She averted her gaze while shaking her head and staring at bare-limbed trees beside the highway. “I just need some time.”

Tony put his hands back on the steering wheel and wrung it, his emotions swingingly wildly. “Fine. But you need to know I can’t imagine my life without you. I don’t even want to.”

He watched her swallow, but she didn’t even acknowledge his words.

Shocked into silence, Tony stared at the cars tearing past them. They had four more hours on the road before they got home. Something told him four hours wouldn’t be enough time to change Ruby’s mind. They’d stumbled upon a glitch in their bond as husband and wife, one that made him quail for how little he understood it.

Being a SEAL, his first impulse was to tackle the problem head-on, to unravel the knot, then smooth things out between them. But this was a matter between Ruby and her conscience. He couldn’t fix it. All he could do was hope she came to her senses while spending time apart from him.

With his heart as heavy as a boulder, Tony merged back into traffic. God had brought them together. He wasn’t going to let this incident tear them apart.

* * *

“Dat’s a lickwish cawd,” Ruby’s not-yet-three-year-old nephew pointed a pudgy finger at the spot where Ruby’s gingerbread man was about to land. “You skip.”

“Are you sure?” Ruby reached for the licorice card and turned it over. “Huh, you have the cards memorized.”

Ryan had trounced her at a memory game earlier that day, and she didn’t even know how he played those games on his iPad. The precocious toddler reminded her of Tony for how smart he was. Loss wrung her heart. Their baby would have been the same way.

For the fifth time that day, she caught herself wanting to text her husband. Separation put a perpetual ache in her chest, but distance gave her the perspective she needed. Was shereallythe right person for Tony, or was she the weak link in their marriage?

One thing she’d realized that she wanted Tony to know: She was actually good with her nephew. Monty had pointed out that she had a special way with kids—though come to think of it, that might have been Monty’s idea of a joke about Tony’s age relative to hers.

No, shewasgood with Ryan. If she wasn’t, he wouldn’t want to play with her all day instead of going to day care. Could God be trying to tell Ruby something?

As the afternoon wore on, Ryan yawned. Time for his nap. They went up to his dinosaur-themed bedroom where Ruby stayed by his railed bed until he fell asleep. Then she nipped downstairs, hoping to watch an episode of some reality TV show—anything to distract her from missing Tony. As she dropped onto the couch, reaching for the remote control, the door from the garage door opened, and Opal entered the mudroom, visible from where Ruby sat.

She blinked at her big sister. “Oh, you’re home. I didn’t hear the garage door open.”

“I finished early today. Is Ryan napping?”

“Yep, just put him down.”

“Oh, good. I was hoping for the chance to talk to you.” Opal shook off her outer coat, military issue, and hung it on the hall tree in the mudroom, along with her purse. A physical therapist at the Portsmouth Naval Medical Center, she always went to work in uniform.

Ruby mentally reviewed the past few days. What might she have done wrong?

“So.” Opal sank onto the opposite end of the couch, kicked off her pumps, and propped her stockinged feet on the coffee table. “I have an observation. Correct me if I’m wrong, but you seem to be…punishing yourself for your miscarriage.”

Ruby gulped down the guilt that immediately clogged her throat. “I mean, it’s basically my fault for putting my work first. For not telling Tony.”

---