Page 58 of Be Courageous

Tony didn’t give her the chance to start first. “How long did you know?”

Ruby flinched from the disillusionment in his voice and lowered her head. The loss of her baby lanced her heart afresh. The doctor had spilled her secret, telling Tony she was miscarrying before she had the chance to explain.

“Almost two months.” She couldn’t meet Tony’s gaze.

Stunned silence followed her reply. “Two months.”His voice rasped with betrayal.

“I was going to tell you at Christmas. I wanted to surprise you.”

“And your investigation of Katz? When were you going to tell me about that?” He laid aside the cup but remained by the bed, looming over her. “I haven’t slept or eaten or even breathed in over forty-eight hours because you didn’t tell me what you were up to. Because you’re keepingsecretsfrom me. If I’d known, I could haveprotectedyou. None of this would have happened!”

Remorse twisted through her, wringing tears from her. “You’re right. I’m so sorry.” Tears gushed at the thought that Christmas wouldn’t be the joyful day she’d been anticipating. The poor little life inside her never stood a chance. But it wasn’t all her fault. “Is Katz—will he get in trouble for what he did to me?”

“Eventually.” Tony swung away from her, stalking to the window. “Monty wants the FBI to investigate him. That way Katz doesn’t blame us…or you.”

Alarm penetrated her misery at the thought of Katz seeking vengeance.

An aching silence fell between them. Tony kept his back to her. She watched his shoulders rise and fall as he fought to bring his emotions under control.

She managed to tell him in a strangled voice, “I promise you, Tony, if I’d known Katz was going to try and kill me, I would never have taken chances with our baby.”

He turned his head at her assertion, not all the way, as if he couldn’t bring himself to look at her. Perhaps he’d finally realized what she’d known all along—that she wasn’t the woman he thought she was.

But then he finally swung around and marched back to her. “You shouldn’t have interviewed the lieutenant governor without telling me. That’s the part that hurts me. But what happened to you isn’t your fault, Bella.” Taking her good hand in his, Tony held it gently. “Katz is evil. You couldn’t have known how evil he is.”

Once again, Tony was taking the high ground. She agreed Katz was a monster, but Tony was wrong about the miscarriage. She’d put her exposé first and her baby second, and now she deserved to suffer for it.

“I want to go home.” She needed Opal, who’d been like a mother to her ever since their own mother died young, leaving just their father to raise them.

Tony stretched out a hand and tucked a ringlet of her hair behind her ear. “I’ll take you home, Bella. Just as soon as the doctor clears you.” Bending over, he dropped the lightest of kisses on her lips. “Now try and rest while I find us a rental car.”

Her beautiful Range Rover was gone, as was her Christmas surprise for Tony. Ruby closed her eyes to hide the tears welling in her eyes.I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.

CHAPTER13

Tony slanted his wife a worried look. Seated next to him in the passenger seat of the rented Malibu, she’d spoken scarcely more than a word since he’d checked her out of the hospital on Monday morning. He’d driven her first to Bella Vista to collect their luggage and to say their farewells. His mother and Corinna had both been as subdued as Ruby was.

An hour outside of Philly, with hours to go before they reached Virginia Beach, Tony yearned for some color to come back to Ruby’s cheeks, for the devil-may-care sparkle to return to her lackluster eyes. But she remained silent and subdued, almost…penitent, which wasn’t a word that had ever applied to her before.

“You warm enough,Bella?” The slate-colored clouds were starting to dust I-95 with shimmering snowflakes. He had set the heat as high as he could stand it, but Ruby still looked like she was freezing with her peach-colored coat buttoned to her chin. She sat there hugging her injured arm like a bird with a broken wing, a look that didn’t suit her one bit.

“I’m fine.” She stared unseeing at the road before them.

Maybe she only needed reassurance. “Katz isn’t going to get away with what he’s done, if that’s what’s worrying you.”

“It’s not.” Her distant voice did little to reassure him. “I could care less about Katz. Every bad thing he’s ever done is going to haunt him soon enough.”

The sad certainty in her voice made Tony shoot another worried look at her. “Bella, you gotta stop blamin’ yourself for what happened. If the baby’s gone, then it wasn’t meant to be born yet. We’ll have a family one day. Maybe now’s just not the right time.”

She didn’t immediately reply, giving him hope that his words had comforted her. But then she said, “That’s what I thought too, at first. I thought having a baby now would ruin my career. That’s why I didn’t tell you right away. I didn’t want it to happen. Only later, when that man named Yordan kidnapped me, protecting my baby was all I could think about. I just…I can’t believe how selfish I am…”

“Don’t say that, Ruby. You risked your life to keep Katz from climbing any higher.”

“Some other nut job will replace him. I could spend my whole life exposing criminals, but there’s always more out there.”

He laughed without humor. “Yeah. Now you know how I feel.”

As she lapsed into silence again, Tony thought the discussion was over. The snow frosting the highway had turned into icy rain, forcing him to switch on his windshield wipers.

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