Page 2 of Knot Happening Again

I turn my full attention to the alpha, letting my eyes roam over him appreciatively. "Or we could skip the drinks and head upstairs," I suggest, my voice husky with false desire.

His eyes light up, and I have to suppress a shudder of revulsion. As I lead him toward the stairs, I can't help but think that I hate him. I hate every alpha in this room. But I don't hate any alpha more than I hate Leon Whitaker.

And yet I hate myself even more.

For ever loving him.

For ever hoping he'd come back.

The alpha's hand on my lower back brings me back to the present. I plaster on another smile, pushing thoughts of my ex to the back of my mind.

It's time to work.

As we climb the stairs, I can't help but wonder how I ended up here. It seems like yesterday I was just a naive omega, dreaming of true love and happily ever afters. Now look at me. Selling myself to the highest bidder every night, hating every moment of it.

We reach the top of the stairs, and I lead him down the hallway to one of the private rooms. The decor is tasteful but impersonal, all neutral tones and soft lighting designed to flatter and seduce. I've been in this room countless times, with countless alphas. Each time, I leave a little piece of myself behind.

"Make yourself comfortable," I say, gesturing to the plush bed. The alpha grins, already loosening his tie. I turn away, ostensibly to pour us both a drink, but really to steel myself for what's to come.

As I face the mini-bar, my eyes land on my reflection in the mirror. For a moment, I hardly recognize myself. All I see now is a jaded woman, her blue eyes dulled by disappointment and heartbreak.

Then again, I'm not that eighteen-year-old idiot who actually thought alphas were capable of love. Seven long years have been more than enough to chip that naiveté away, piece by piece. My hair is longer now, still the same raven shade, cascading over pale shoulders. But even though the face it frames is still smooth and youthful on the surface, the joy in my expression is long gone. Hell, I'm probably never going to age because I can't even remember the last time I cracked a smile.

I shake off the melancholy thoughts. I have a job to do.

Turning back to the alpha, I put on my best seductive smile. "Now," I purr, sauntering toward him. "Where were we?"

The next hour passes in a blur of fake moans and practiced touches. I go through the motions, my body responding on autopilot while my mind drifts far away.

I think about Natalie's cousin, wonder if she really found relief through that Temporary Bonds place. I think about my own impending heat the moment I follow my doctor's orders and finally come off these suppressants, the pain and loneliness that await me.

Sometimes I think about Leon.

Sometimes I imagine biting his dick off.

Depends on my mood, really.

When it's over, the alpha leaves with a satisfied smile and a generous tip. I wait until the door closes behind him before I let my facade crumble. I rush to the en-suite bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before I retch, my body rejecting the encounter as thoroughly as my mind.

As I rinse my mouth out, I catch sight of myself in the mirror again. This time, I can't look away. I stare at my reflection, at the woman I've become, and I feel a surge of self-loathing so strong it nearly knocks me off my feet.

Is this really all I'm worth?

A quick fuck for alphas who can't be bothered to find their true mates?

God, it's so easy for them. Just fuck your way through the sea of willing omegas who will open their legs for a chance at finding happily ever after and stop when you find the one who smells like heaven.

Or don't.

As rare as omegas are, I've learned firsthand working at this place that doesn't stop alphas from risking everything to sample all the variety the world has to offer.

I shake my head, trying to dispel the traitorous thoughts. This is my life now. I made my choices, and I have to live with them.

But as I make my way back downstairs, Natalie's words echo in my mind. Maybe there's another way. Maybe I don't have to suffer through my heats alone.

Or with clients who make my skin crawl.

The alphas at this Temporary Bonds place certainly can't be any more repulsive than the ones I go upstairs with every night.

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