Page 9 of Knot Happening Again

I flip open the brochure, my mind reeling. The inside is filled with glossy photos of smiling omegas and alphas, along with testimonials and descriptions of services. It all looks very professional, very above-board.

But still...

"I don't understand," I say, looking back up at Rhys. "You want us to... what? Rent an omega?"

Rhys winces at my choice of words. "That's not... It's not like that, Leon. It's more like a trial period. A chance for us to see what it would be like to have an omega in the pack, without the pressure of a permanent bond."

I stare at him, speechless. This is so far from what I was expecting, I don't even know how to process it. Part of me is relieved. This is easier to deal with than him coming home and announcing he finally met our scent match.

But another part of me is terrified.

Because if he does this, if he brings an omega into our lives, even temporarily...

The thought makes my head spin. I reach for my wine, taking a long swig to buy myself some time. When I set the glass down, Rhys is watching me intently, his expression a mix of hope and anxiety.

"Say something," he urges. "What do you think?"

I open my mouth, but no words come out. How can I possibly explain the storm of emotions raging inside me? How can I tell him that the idea of bringing an omega into our pack—any omega—fills me with dread and guilt?

Because even now, after all these years, my inner alpha rages against the thought of any omega other than the one we partially claimed.

The words I've been rehearsing all day are right there on the tip of my tongue, but now that the moment has arrived, my courage has deserted me. Rhys's eyes are so full of hope. How can I possibly crush that with my confession?

"I..." I start, then falter. The weight of my secret feels like it's crushing me, but I can't bring myself to let it go. Not now. Not when Rhys looks so happy. "I guess we could give it a shot. If the others are on board," I add quickly.

Maybe that will be my saving grace. Getting this pack to agree on anything will be a multi-year undertaking at best.

The words still taste like ash in my mouth, but the way Rhys's face lights up almost makes it worth it.

Almost.

"Really?" he asks, leaning forward. "You're serious?"

I nod, forcing a smile. "Yeah. I mean, it's only temporary, right? Maybe it'll... get it out of your system."

It's not likehehasn't been with omegas before. Everyone in the pack is free to see who they like romantically, until we all agree on someone, or until one of us meets our scent match. And sure, I may be hellbent on sabotaging either of those potentialities, but so far, I haven't had to. The others' tastes are about as divergent as possible.

So far, no one's made the cut.

As soon as the words leave my mouth, though, I regret them. Rhys's expression falters for a moment, a flicker of hurt crossing his features before he schools them back into a smile.

"Out of my system?" he repeats, his voice carefully neutral. "Is that what you think this is?"

I backpedal quickly. "No, that's not what I meant. I just... I know how much you want this, Rhys. And I want you to be happy. If this is what it takes, then I'm willing to try."

It's another damn lie. But what else is new?

Rhys studies me for a long moment, his eyes searching mine. "Are you sure, Leon? Because if you're not comfortable with this, we don't have to do it. I don't want to pressure you into anything."

The concern in his voice makes my chest ache. He's always so considerate, so caring. It only makes what I'm doing feel worse.

"I'm sure," I lie again. "I think it could be good for the pack. For us. But only if you can all agree on someone. You know I'm not really into casual."

At least I know that'll never fucking happen.

Rhys's smile returns, bright and genuine. "Okay," he says. "We'll talk to the others when we get home. See what they think."

I nod, relief washing over me. I've dodged the bullet, at least for now. But as Rhys launches into an excited discussion about the agency and how it works, I can't shake the feeling that I've just made a terrible mistake.

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