Page 42 of The Cowboy's Second Chance Bride

He met my gaze, the corners of his eyes crinkling with pleasure. “That’s right. I don’t know why I can’t remember that.”

“Because you were jealous,” I said, recalling all the fake fights we’d had about me and the dolphin.

He searched my face for a beat, then wiped a hand across his scar. “I was only jealous of how much of your time that dolphin was taking. You went to the dolphin, and Jace and I went to the Jet Skis and acted like fools. Racing and being stupid guys. That Jet Ski bucked me off like a bull does a rider.”

I followed his fingers across his scar. “Who knew water could cut like this?”

He grabbed my hand in his, and we held each other’s gaze. “What are we doing here?” Cal asked, his eyes flicking to the space between us.

“What do you mean?” The shift in conversation had me confused.

“Sitting like this? What do you want from me with this?” His voice was raw.

“I want the truth. I want to know why you keep me in the dark about that night.”

He transferred the reins to one hand, then slid the other down my back and stopped at the top of my butt. He looked up and met my gaze, his eyes shadowed by his Stetson, but I saw a flash of something, remorse maybe, in his gray eyes. Then he jerked me toward him until I was practically sitting on top of him. Driven by reflex, I gasped at the sudden closeness and clutched his shoulders to steady myself. There wasn’t a hint of daylight between our bodies.

“Sitting like that makes me want to do this.” He clutched me tighter. “And this.” His head dipped low, putting his mouth close to my neck. His hot breath warmed the spot behind my ear.

Because my body was a traitorous bitch, I shifted to give him access and so his Stetson wouldn’t bump me and come off. I dug my fingers into his shoulders as my heart thudded loudly in my ears.

“But I can’t do this,” he whispered. “That wouldn’t be right. Because what would follow? A fling?” He shook his head. “I couldn’t live with that. Not a relationship—I don’t want one. That means when we’re done with this job, we go back to our lives. The one where you’re not in mine and I’m not in yours because our time together has passed.”

Like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on my head, I came back to reality. I pushed away from him and did the same swivel in the saddle I’d done before, putting my back to him. We rode the rest of the way in silence.

ChapterSixteen

CAL

With my job, I sometimes had to stay up for forty-eight hours straight. I sometimes didn’t get to shower for twice as long as that. I’d done a few days without food and slept out in the rain because that was the safest place to be. But no night in the history of the time since I’d owned Optium had I had a night as tough as last night.

A person could temporarily satiate hunger with thirst, and eventually, they would stop noticing the body odor. But trying to tamp down desire and push aside want, that was damn near impossible.

Sleep was elusive, and when I did manage to doze off, I had sex dreams. I hadn’t had a sex dream since I was a teen, but that night made up for it in spades. When I was awake, all I could think about was Sabrina’s touch and the feel of her in my arms while sitting on my lap. Which just led to having sex dreams, jerking off, and repeating. The only solution was to take cold showers repeatedly in an attempt to purge.

I stepped out of the cold shower, wrapped one towel around my waist, and dried my hair with another. It was time to face the day, and I was dreading it. I had to go out there and act the same way I’d been acting for the last ten years—as if I didn’t give a shit.

But the ranch was big enough I could probably avoid Sabrina all day if I tried. A man could hope. My dick needed a break.

Dressed, I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen to seek out coffee. When I walked by Sabrina’s room, her door was closed, so maybe she was still sleeping. It was fairly early.

Mom and Mrs. Claudia were in the kitchen, and biscuits and gravy were on the stove. Things were looking up already. Rod was at the island, chowing down. He put his hand up for a high five while shoveling food into his mouth with the other hand.

“Can I get some of that?” I asked, pointing to Rod’s plate.

“Coming right up,” Mrs. Claudia said, then seconds later slid a heap of goodness in front of me.

“What’s on the agenda for the day?” I asked, glancing at the hallway to see if anyone was coming. If I ate fast, I might get outside without seeing her. Yeah, I was a coward.

“They’re bringing in the cows who are ready to birth,” said Mom.

“I can help with that.” I nodded.

“They already left,” Rod said.

“I can catch up with them,” I told him.

He gave me awhateverlook.

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