Page 65 of The Girl He Loves

Chapter 25

Wednesday

How I madeit through last night will remain a mystery. Maybe it was because Dax was on his phone or computer most of the night doing whatever. The shit-eating grin on his face clarified that he was happy with whatever it was.

I had some assignments to finish. After I got Tyler to bed, I stared at my notes for far too long, then finally got lost in my studies. When I shut it down at midnight, Dax was asleep on the couch.

I set the alarm and went to bed, feeling miles away from him.

Funny how a few weeks ago I challenged the universe to bring it, and here it all was. And the universe brought its A-game.

I rise before my alarm and dress in silence as I trudge through my heavy thoughts.

I’m in the kitchen making coffee when my phone pings with an incoming email. Out of habit, I glance to see if it’s anything important.

It’s from the laboratory doing the paternity test. Holy crap, that was fast. I set my mug on the counter and stare at the email, leaving it unopened.

Dax hops into the kitchen. “Hey, why didn’t you wake me when you went to bed? I woke up cuddling Tyler’s stuffed animal, thinking it was you.” He drops a kiss on my forehead.

I glance between him and the phone.

He pours coffee into the mug I abandoned. “What? Something wrong?”

“The paternity results are in.”

“No shit? What’s it say?” He grabs at my phone, but I hold it out of reach. “Come on, let’s see it.”

“Dax, I feel like we should say things. I…”

But I don’t know what. It’s so much, all these feelings.

He brushes a hand down my cheek. “Babe, what are you afraid of?”

“You leaving,” I say. The truth tumbles out. Not because he might be the father of my kid. But because the results of this test feel like something big that could make or break everything.

Because somewhere between midnight and this morning, it dawned on me what Jayne meant. I love Dax. The thought of him not coming around anymore makes my heart race with anxiety and loneliness. All along, I’ve been preparing for him to leave because I can’t imagine why he’d want to stay. What can I offer him? A ready-made family? He may not want that. Yes, the sex is out of this world. But a couple can't exist on sex alone.

But I want him to do chores around my house because I want to share my house with him. Having him here this short time has been everything I hoped my marriage could have been and everything I imagine a healthy relationship should be. I don’t want to let that go.

Acknowledging that I can’t control what happens now, and the fear that comes with that, causes a chain reaction of all my emotions, colliding and pouring out of me.

This is about so much more than having someone to share the workload with. This is about love. I am in love with Dax. Heck, I probably have always been in love with him, having never really moved on. Because moving on from something that feels so right and natural feels so wrong and unnatural.

Dear Lord, Justin was right. To a degree, Dax always stood between us. Not purposeful on my part, but as I struggled to make a difficult marriage work, I’m sure the realization that I walked away from something I wanted more was always there subconsciously.

And here we are again.

Tears stream down my face. “I know you’re taking that job in New York, and I’m happy you found something you want, but I don’t want you to go. And if you’re Tyler’s dad, does that mean I’ll have to send him to you there? How will that work? Because you can already tell that Tyler being out of my sight is not good for me. I don’t handle that well.”

He pulls me into his arms. “Heather, why didn’t you talk this out with me? I thought we were trying to not repeat college.”

I rest my forehead on his shoulder and give in to my tears.

“Babe, what makes you think I’m taking the job in New York? I told you I didn’t want to work for my dad.”

“I saw his text to you last night. While you were on the phone.”

Dax groans. “My dad can’t take no for an answer. Which I’ve said to him at least one hundred times daily. That text didn’t say I took the job. It said he wanted me on the team. His way of telling me how disappointed he’ll be if I don’t take the job.”

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