Page 62 of The Girl He Loves

Jayne leans back against the worktable we use to unpack inventory, her hands on either side. “Well, first I’d say you’ve had a crazy few weeks. The latest with Justin is just rotten icing on a moldy cake.”

I nod and wipe my nose on tissue paper that came in a box with Italian leather boots. “Never mind that he’s been stalking me. I still can’t wrap my head around that.”

Jayne hands me a tissue. “And then there’s Dax.”

I spill my guts. Everything. The report I saw online. How I know he’ll leave, and I don’t want him to go.

“But that’s wonderful,” she says.

I shake my head. “It’s not wonderful to use a person, because that’s what I’m doing. I’m using him to make my life better. To rescue me. How many times have I said I don’t need a knight in shining armor?” I don’t wait for an answer. “Well, I guess I lied because this guy’s been around my house fixing stuff for two weeks, and I want to keep him. I want to enslave him.”

Her brows go up. “That’s a wee bit dramatic, don’t you think? Enslave? Really?”

I plop into the chair beside the table. “Yes, it’s totally dramatic, but I have all these feelings. They’re so intense. It’s like I’m….” I struggle to find the best way to describe the turmoil inside me.

Jayne says, “Would you say you feel enslaved by your feelings?”

I glance up in time to see the twitches on her lips, as she struggles to restrain her smile.

“Yes,” I say. “I’m enslaved. Am I going to live that down?”

Jayne shakes her head. “Certainly not. And when I tell the others…”

I bury my head in my hands and groan.

Jayne says, “You know, having all these feelings is normal. You’re working it out. That’s all.”

“You’re right, but I feel like a douchebag. Like I’ve been using him.”

Jayne pulls up a chair, and before she sits, she grabs the box of scones. Once in her seat, she flips it open and offers me one.

I take it and break off the pointy end.

Jayne says, “Do you think the issue is that you are using him, or maybe there’s something more?” She takes a scone and bites off the end.

I play with mine. “Like what?”

She studies me a second before she says, “Maybe you have stronger feelings than—”

“No, it’s too soon. We barely know each other.”

Jayne gives me a puzzled look. “But you actually do know him. It’s not like you just met.”

“We’re different people now,” I argue.

She drops her scone onto the table. “All I’m saying is, maybe you have a crush on Dax? Maybe that’s why you envision him taking care of you. Maybe you’re tired of going it alone. All of which is normal.”

I do one of those ragged breaths people take after they’ve been crying as I work to calm down. “Yeah, both Tyler and I have a crush on Dax. Different crushes, of course.”

“Of course.” She nods. “It’s been a while since you’ve been in this place—the crush zone.” She smiles at me. “Maybe give yourself a little grace to fumble your way through it.” She points to the fortune cookie. “And maybe, just maybe, you shouldn’t make any more assumptions about what needs to happen until you have to make a decision about what to do. Because right now, do you have to make any decision?”

She has a point. I shake my head. “You don’t think I’m being unfair to him?”

Jayne smooths her dress. “That’s a different question. And one I don’t think you’d like to hear the answer to.”

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