Page 15 of The Girl He Loves

“How about we end on a nice gesture?”

He smirks. “There’s that word ‘nice’ again.”

I point to his damp shirt. “Considering I’ve already left my mess on you, how about we say goodbye with a hug?”

Not that I think contact is a good idea, but it seems like a fitting goodbye. And it would be a better end than the time we broke up. I believe I slapped his face and then burst into tears. Dax was my prince charming, unknowingly setting the bar so high, in hindsight I wonder if no other man had a chance.

He lifts a damp lock of hair from my neck. “I know you said you wouldn't give me your keys, but if I don’t make sure you get home okay and aren’t in need of medical attention, I won’t be able to live with myself.”

“How about I text you when I get home and then again in the morning to prove I’m okay. It’s the best I can offer,” I say.

He appears to consider it for a moment then holds out his hand. “Hand me your phone, and I’ll put my number in.”

I dig through my purse and do as he asks. While he’s putting in his information, I unlock my van and toss my purse inside.

He hands me my phone. “Promise you’ll text?”

I shrug. “Sure, unless I’m dead.”

His eyes narrow.

I laugh. “Okay, terrible joke. Sorry.”

His frowny face is cute. “So, this is it?” he says.

I nod.

He opens his arms. “Come here. I’ll take that hug now. We have too much history for anything less. Don’t you think?” Dax side-eyes me. “Unless you’re afraid a hug from me might make you fall head-over-heels.”

“Puh-lease, I spent six months with you and never fell head-over-heels. I doubt one little hug will do me in.” All lies. Maybe I’m trying to rewrite history. Maybe I want him to think differently about the time we spent together and wonder if he misread it, too.

Dax opens his arms wider, as if possible, and steps closer. “Then bring it in, Lowell.” His arms drop slightly as he says, “Wait, that’s not your last name anymore. What is it?”

“Michaels.” I haven’t been Heather Lowell in years. That girl was curious and adventurous. That girl sunbathed topless on a roof. Heather Michaels is serious and cautious. She wears sunscreen at night.

I step into his arms and, keeping at least an inch between us, give him what I’d call a casual hug. One without real meaning.

He wraps his arms around me bear-hug style and crushes me against him. “Man, running into you made my day. You were the one positive constant in college while I chased my football dreams.”

He sounds wistful.

“Do you regret pursuing an NFL career?” Especially knowing now what it cost his health.

“I didn’t at the time or while I was in it, but now, on the other side…” he trails off.

I’m tucked under his head. My wet shirt and chest press against his solid one. His hug is so encompassing I feel sheltered from the world. He’s got me. My entire weight is against him and I’m fully supported. I exhale and let someone else carry me, if only for a moment.

“On the other side of what? You’re older? You wish you were somewhere else in your life? What?” My words come out faint with my face against his chest. I can’t imagine his life being too hard. Sure, a football schedule is tough, grueling. But he’s well compensated. Money can’t buy everything, but comfort is a wonderful place to start.

“Are my early thirties too soon for a midlife crisis?” He chuckles, and the deepness of his laugh reverberates against me.

“Yes.” I return the laugh. Then I'm pulled back in time to the game we used to play, a game I still play. “If you had one wish, right now, what would it be? You remember the rules. It can’t be for more wishes.”

We started this game as a lark, as a way to get what we wanted. Usually sex. But sometimes, when drinking, it would become philosophical.

Dax snuggles into me, not letting go of the hug, and I rest against him. Part of me says, what harm can this do? Another smarter part of me tsks and shakes her head at me.

“Ah, man. I haven’t thought of this in a long time.” He strokes my head. “My one wish would be to make the most of this moment. I spent so much time trying to get to the next milestone that I forgot to enjoy the now. And right now, I’m enjoying the hell out of this.”

Me, too. And I know I shouldn’t be. But I am. And I want more. More of this moment right now.

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