Page 82 of The Powers of Nyx

“You ready to talk about it?” Rowan asked. He looked up from where he sat on the ottoman at the end of the bed.

I shook my head. “Not tonight,” I sighed. “Please?”

I could tell they weren’t happy about it, and the guilt grew stronger. But how could I explain what I’d felt without seeming crazy? Or worse? It had to mean nothing, otherwise, I would have to admit to myself that it meant more. And I certainly wasn’t ready for that.

30

HAWK

THElook in her eyes broke something within me.

I hadn’t expected to see Ivy during our celebration of life for Corbin. It was meant to just be a small gathering now that the rest of the team was here to put our man to rest.

But then the faery wine started flowing, and all of a sudden, I had a red-head in my lap while she tried to convince Zeph to bite her, promising she had a touch of Fae in her veins despite being a witch. And I felt nothing.

I’d chalked it up to the wine. To the loss of my friend of forty years.

But then I saw her, and it was like the lights came back on.

The small, tight dress did wonders for her curves, and I couldn’t ignore the rush of possessiveness that rose at the sight. Smooth, thick thighs on display for just anyone to see. Of course, Grey’s team were there. Ivy’smates. The fucking bitterness. I wanted to blame it on the fact that they’d all survived and one of mine hadn’t, but that wasn’t even it.

It was because they had her, this beautiful creature, and I had...

Scrubbing a hand over my face, I carefully pushed the red-head off me. She didn’t even seem to care, not as she climbed into Zeph’s lap. My denial of her must have given him the answer he wanted, because he had his fangs in the girl’s throat in an instant.

“I need some fresh air,” I said to no one in particular. “I’ll be back.”

It was a lie; I wasn’t sure if I was in the mood to go back. Escaping onto the street, I walked with no direction in mind. My hands curled into fists as I shoved them into the pockets of my pants.

My thoughts drifted back to Ivy, though I didn’t try hard to stop them. Alone, I could dwell on them—onher.

I found myself standing at an intersection, one with a break in the buildings that revealed the spires of the palace, and groaned. What the fuck was getting into me? She was the new Queen, had her mates and anchors, and was going to be taking over from Queen Greer in a matter of months. And I was...I was imagining the betrayal in her eyes.

What she really thought when she looked at me was disgust. I’d been an issue for her from the moment I’d gotten to the safe house. She didn’t like me—fuck, she didn’t even know me. And I certainly didn’t know her. The Fae magic that lived within me—thatreacted to her. Itsensed her power, and it wanted a taste of her, no matter what. But that was never going to happen.

I gave the palace one last look before turning on my heel and stalking towards my home. The walk was short and not another soul bothered me. Good. I wasn’t in the mood anymore. And I felt like a fucking idiot.

I entered my apartment alone, trying to ignore the dark, twisted voice of my Fae side. That creature wanted to go to her, find her, and...I shook my head. Whatever it wanted, it wasn’t going to happen. But for whatever reason, that didn’t matter. There was an intense pressure in my chest, one that was hard to ignore, but I knew I had to.

Ivy was off limits. She always had been—and she always will be.

There was nothing particularly exciting about the apartment I called home. Nestled in the Endora sector, it was in a neighbourhood of small apartment buildings usually inhabited by other agents when they weren’t off in the human world on assignments.

It was the only time I could be alone. And for the first time in nearly fifty years, I hated it.

Had she gone back to the palace on the arms of her mates? Were they in her bed now?

The moment our eyes met filled my head again, and I tried to push the flash of hurt and look of betrayal out of my mind. But it was burned into my retinas, mysoul. Deep down, I knew I’d fucked up somehow.

Shooting a quick message to the team, I shucked off my clothes. The red-head’s scent clung to them, and for some reason, I needed them off. Everything about her had been too artificial, toosweet, and nothing like what I wanted.

I couldn’t even have a Goddess-damned coffee anymore without thinking about Ivy.

She was nothing but a parasite in my head, and the longer I let her stay there, the more damage she would do.

I had to find a way to get rid of her. With my clothes off, I made my way to the bathroom. Everything was upgraded with more modern human technology, like showers and flushing toilets. I couldn’t imagine what Avalon was like before Queen Greer implemented these changes, but I was glad we had them. I knew there were still villages that hadn’t upgraded, and certainly, there were parts of Faery that refused to modernise, but there were systems I enjoyed—and that included the shower.

Letting my wings unfurl, I stretched them as far as I could before stepping into the large shower. I turned the water on, and it didn’t take long for it to heat up to an almost burning temperature, but I needed to burn Ivy out of my system.

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