Page 10 of The Bonds of Nyx

“Holding on to it will only make the nightmares worse,” Maeve said, her thumb a whisper against my skin as she brushed it over my cheek. “You protected yourself, Ivy.”

Our eyes met, and I finally let the pent-up tears fall. Maeve pulled me into her chest, one arm going around my shoulders, the other to the back of my head, and she held me while sobswracked my body and all the fear and guilt rushed through me. I wrapped my arms around her midsection and felt her shudder, but she held me tighter until I wasn’t a shaking mess.

It could have been minutes, or it might have been hours, but Maeve didn’t let me go. With our bodies perfectly moulded together, I didn’twanther to let me go. It was strange, considering the tether in my chest yearning for Adrian. Should I have been seeking him out? Folding myself in his arms and crying into his chest? Guilt soured my stomach and forced me to finally pull out of Maeve’s arms.

The vampire didn’t seem upset, so I didn’t make a comment on it. “Thanks for understanding,” I said, clearing my throat. “I just don’t know what to do with all of…this.”

Maeve looked me over with a soft gaze before motioning for me to sit again. “You are not alone with this, Ivy.” As she sat, something shifted in her eyes. “You can talk to me if you don’t feel comfortable talking to your mate about anything.”

I bit the inside of my cheek as I considered what she was offering. “I should talk to him,” I murmured, rubbing my eyes. “But I don’t know if I can, yet.”

“You need to tell someone.” Maeve brushed her hand over my knee before pulling back. “I have something to return to you.”

Opening my eyes, I watched as she reached back and unsheathed a dagger. It took me a moment to realise it was the dagger she’d gifted me back at the apartment, the one she’d taught me to use to protect myself.

My throat tightened. “I didn’t realise I’d lost it.”

Maeve’s lips tilted up in a small smile. “You hadn’t. I took it from you after you passed out.” Her eyes darkened as she stared down at the blade, and her hold on it tightened until her knuckles turned white. “There was a lot of blood on the blade. None of it yours. I thank the Goddess for that small mercy every time I look at you.” Her gaze left the dagger and fell to me. “Itook it to prove to myself that you were able to protect yourself when we could not.”

“I got to the others because of that dagger, Maeve. Even if you weren’t there, that was, and it saved us.”

She bowed her head before flipping the blade until the handle faced me. “Take it. I’ll continue training you if that’s what you need. But you have to know: the guilt you feel over the lives taken is normal. You are allowed to feel it. But don’t drown in it,a mhuirnín.” Her voice tightened, and as I took the dagger from her outstretched hand, she took hold of my fingers. “We will be here to pull you from those depths, the team and me. We won’t ever abandon you. Should you need us, we’ll be there.Iwill be there.”

My throat tightened painfully, tears burning in the corners of my eyes. Words seemed almost impossible as I stared down at where our hands were joined, the dagger between us, with her promises hanging in the air.

Were they promises she could keep? Deep down, I knew the answer:yes. Maeve wouldn’t say that without meaning it.

I thought back to the night she’d woken me during a nightmare, and I’d wondered what it would be like to unload everything on her. Every fear, every nightmare, every dark thought I’d had almost falling from my tongue. I’d been so close to sharing with her.

My eyes trailed up her covered arm to her face. The intense sincerity in her eyes almost made me fold.

A soft knock interrupted the silence, forcing me to suck in a steadying breath and calm the inferno of emotions swirling within me. My magic didn’t seem to be as potent right now, which I hoped was because of the fight, because I wasn’t sure I could handle that with everything else going on.

Mate bonds, nightmares, and unruly magic that could explode at any moment.

Yeah, that seemed like a little too much to have on my plate.

I cleared my throat and rose. “Seems like you’re needed elsewhere,” I said, giving Maeve a half smile.

Her lips unfurled in a frown. “I meant what I said, Ivy,” she replied, rising from the armchair, her lithe body languid as she moved to stand in front of me. I held my breath as she raised her hand, but she blinked and let it fall back to her side. “If you want to talk about what happened in that house, I will listen. Always.”

I gave her a quick nod. “I’ll let you work now. Thank you for looking into the potion for me.”

“Of course, Ivy.”

There seemed to be more she wanted to say, but I fled, heading for the door. My heart thundered wildly as my hand closed around the doorknob.

With one last look over my shoulder at the stoic vampire leader who tempted me in ways I didn’t completely understand, I threw the door open before I could let everything out.

5

IVY

I SLAMMEDinto a hard body as I exited Maeve’soffice, my breath coming out in a hard huff as I stumbled. Arms wound around me before I could fall, and I found myself enveloped in Adrian’s minty scent.

It brought an immense amount of security, being wrapped in his arms again.

“Can we talk?” he pleaded, eyes searching mine as he pulled back. “I’m sorry for walking out before. I just didn’t want to upset you, and…” He paused, throat bobbing as he swallowed.

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