Page 68 of The Bonds of Nyx

I peered over Ivy’s shoulder and met his critical stare. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He rolled his eyes, but he didn’t move. “If Elias Beckham has taught me anything these last few days, it’s that it’s time to step up. If you think you might be her mate, then it’s time to be open about that.”

A lump formed in my throat. When did I become such a fucking coward? If I’d wanted something before, I would have taken it—or done everything in my power to have it. It’d never been hard, primarily because of my mother’s status and, by extension, my own. Taking what I wanted had never been…difficult.

Maybe that’s what made Ivy so different. Maybe it was because she wasn’t some fleeting want, a quick and dirty flirtation that held my interest for only a few moments.

She was an intense obsession, an addiction I would never be able to shake.

If she were my mate—and I was hers—it would make sense. The connection, the strong feelings, the uncertainty.

I swallowed hard, opening my eyes, and taking in Ivy’s sleeping form. “I want it to be true. But how can I be sure unless she’s certain, too?”

Adrian made a sound in the back of his throat. “I think she feels whatever you’re feeling, Ro. It’s not hard to see.”

I shrugged, my thumb tracing circles over the soft flesh of Ivy’s hand. I stared at where our fingers were still linked, a seed of hope blooming inside me.

“My mother told us that Ivy’s journey of finding her mates will be different to how it’s normally discovered,” Adrian continued, his voice lowering. “The Goddess will test us, as Ivy’s mates, to prove we are worthy of being her anchors. The near-death triggered the bond and snapped it into place for us. Elias knew he was her mate after the hellhound attack.”

“I almost died in that alley,” I pointed out. “Don’t you think a bond would have formed then?”

Adrian was silent for a long moment before responding. “Maybe it’s your own fears keeping the bond locked away. You were still afraid of it then, and you’re only just now opening yourself up to the possibility.”

I stopped tracing circles on Ivy’s hand and finally looked over her shoulder at my friend. His eyes were on me, no bullshit to be seen.

I sighed. “I don’t want to overwhelm her. She just found out about that Faery ass-hat, and I don’t think she needs to be pestered by my insecure ass about maybe having a mate bond with her.”

Adrian’s eyes hardened, and he shook his head. “I’m going to kill that asshole.”

Reflexively, I tightened my hold on Ivy. “How bad is the situation?”

For another long moment, Adrian was silent. Maybe because he wasn’t sure if this was a conversation to be had with me: someone who wasn’t really Ivy’s mate. But his eyes finally closed, and he released a heavy breath.

“I’m worried about the impact it’ll have on her. Elias says he’s looking into it.”

“Will it have a serious impact on her?” I asked quietly, my heart thundering.

Adrian’s eyes opened, and he met my stare. “Most likely. And that’s what I’m afraid of.”

~

Ivy awoke again almost an hour later, but I’d slipped out of the bed once Adrian had fallen back asleep. Guilt gnawed at me as I made my way back to my own room. I wasn’t entirely sure where the guilt stemmed from, but I did feel a little…lighter, after the conversation with Adrian. Like the hope inside my heart was still worth holding on to.

A soft knock at my bedroom door drew me out of my thoughts. I was almost certain I knew who it was before the door opened; the warmth in my chest was enough to give her away.

Ivy blinked warily up at me, her doe-eyes tired yet hopeful, as she met my stare. “Can we talk?” she asked quietly, tucking her arms around herself.

I swallowed thickly, but I opened the door wider for her. A soft smile played at her lips as she stepped across the threshold, and her gaze flitted around the room. It was similar to Adrian’s, with a window overlooking the forest and its own bathroom.

Ivy paused hesitantly by the window before turning to me. “We should discuss what happened this morning,” she said, her cheeks turning a soft pink.

Although I knew this was coming, my stomach still twisted with nerves. Clearing my throat, I motioned towards the bed. Her eyes followed the motion, but she shook her head, chewing her bottom lip.

Now, I was anxious. It crashed through me like a storm, waves of it flooding my head. I collapsed onto the edge of the bed and lowered my head. “I’m sorry,” I muttered, pressing my hand to my eyes. “I’m so fucking sorry. It was inappropriate and—”

“Rowan.” Her hand landed on my shoulder, and sparks erupted where her skin met mine. She sucked in a sharp breath, forcing me to look up and meet her eye. “This isn’t just about this morning.”

Bile rose in my throat, but I nodded.If hell could open up and swallow me now, that would be fantastic.

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