I tried to ignore the hurt that blossomed in my chest. “I’m sorry, Ivy.” Sucking in a breath, I pressed my hand to her knee and gave it a squeeze. Electricity crackled over my skin where I touched her, and although I knew I had to ignore it, I could at least admit to myself how good it felt to touch her again.

When she didn’t pull away, I smiled. “I can’t help but think your distrust is rooted partially in what we did at the hotel.” I stared down at where my hand gripped her knee. “And I want—no,need—you to know that everything we did, everything Isaidwas real. But I crossed a line, and I understand why you don’t trust me. I should never have gone to the hotel in the first place.”

Ivy tensed, and pulled away sharply. When I looked up to meet her stare, hurt darkened her eyes. Dread coursed through my veins.

“You’re right,” she replied stiffly, shaking her head. “I don’t trust you because of that. But it’s also because you guys only got close to me for yourmission. There were so many other ways you could have approached me, and yet you decided using my feelings against me would work?”

I swallowed hard and tried to reach for her. “Ivy, that’s not at all—”

“Stop,” she snapped, shoving away from me. “Just stop it, Adrian. You know what? You all need to stop. You and Rowan and Elias—” She cut herself off with a shake of her head.

“What did Elias do?” I asked through gritted teeth. Magic prickled over my skin.

Ivy’s gaze shot to mine, and she frowned. “Nothing. It was nothing. Just a run-in with my mother that went bad, okay?”

My hands tightened into fists. She hadn’t outright lied, but it wasn’t the full truth, either. I was no longer the person she could trust, the person she could be vulnerable with, the person she could lean on.

And I wouldn’t be that person again.

Letting my emotions—my desire—get the best of me destroyed everything. But I didn’t regret that night, not completely.

Standing, I crossed to the door. “We’ll always be here, Ivy.Iwill always be here.” I gripped the door handle like it was the only thing capable of anchoring me, stopping me from getting swept off in the storm of my own emotions. “Our objective is to protect you and get you to Avalon safely. But that doesn’t mean we don’t care, and that our feelings aren’t real,” I finished softly, leaving her in her room alone, closing the door quietly behind me.

I turned to the kitchen where Thea stood, and her eyes met mine. Maybe it was in my head, but I thought I saw something like sadness in them, understanding even.

Like she understood the maelstrom of conflicting emotions crashing through me and wanted me to know she didn’t hate me.

But that didn’t mean she could be my friend, either.

20

ELIAS

EACH step away from her was another crack inmyalready defective heart. The feel of her lush body against mine stirred the beast beneath my skin, and it took all my power to force the wolf down. Especially with the pain and anger in her warm eyes, which had turned hard and cold after my fuck up in the alley.

I never should have let myself be alone with her after that. But emotions were high. I’d been pissed that she’d been cornered like that by her own mother. And although I’d been angry at her for her lie, a small part of me had been happy she’d trusted me enough to pull me into it. That she’d felt safe enough to do so.

But it didn’t stop the shitty feeling burning its way through my body, because in the end, I’d pushed her away.

As I exited the building, I sucked in a sharp breath, taking in the rotten garbage stench of the city, its pollution and the underlying odour of pain. My nose twitched as I started for the alley behind the apartment building. Despite the horrendous attack on my senses, her scent still lingered on my skin, and my shirt, clinging to my body and wrapping around me.

The future Queen’s mate. I shook my head and snorted. Wolves like me, pack-less and orphaned, weren’t worthy enough for someone like the fuckingQueen.

And all I’d done today was reinforce that. I was the asshole she needed me to be because if she knew the truth, she’d be disappointed. I wasn’t like Kingsley or Archer, both of whom were idiots if they thought they were going to come out of this unscathed.

But they were the types of mates she deserved. Royal and noble born. Powerful mages with powerful families, ties to the royal court, and influence over the council and any who might oppose Ivy and her leadership. If they were her mates, they were in good enough positions that no one would question Ivy—or Nyx’s choices.

Not me. If I were the son of a powerful Alpha, or leading one of the influential packs on the island, it might have been different. Except I was an orphaned Alpha without a pack, a soldier instead of a leader, and I’d done nothing but prove why Ishouldn’tbe on Ivy’s personal council.

Why I couldn’t be her mate.

Everything about her was a temptation, a piece of the puzzle that was my life that I hadn’t realised was missing.

And everything I couldn’t have.

The cell in my pocket buzzed, drawing me out of my thoughts. Grey’s name appeared, followed by a short message. I blew out a breath.

I typed out a quick response and pocketed the cell once more. A report was what she wanted. There was a lot I’d noticed in the short time I’d been in Kerry Sullivan’s presence. But there was one thing I knew for certain I’d need to report.