Page 40 of This December

“Did you hear me?” Aspyn’s shrill voice whipped through the room. “He’s going to leave you behind. And don’t expect me to be around to pick up the pieces and hold your hand. You should know better. You look like a fool.”

“Thanks for your concern.” I hung up my jacket and stashed my boots under the bench, out of the way.

“Seriously? That’s all you have to say for yourself?”

I turned and faced my sister with a huff. “What do you want me to say, Aspyn? What would make you happy? Short of me crawling back to San Jose with my tail between my legs, I mean.”

“Whyyou? I don’t get it. Cole Jackson could have any woman he wanted. Why the hell did he pick you?”

“Wow.” I laughed incredulously. “Tell me what you really think, why don’t you?”

“I just, I don’t get it. Your hair is stringy. You haven’t had a facial in months. You’re always wearing those schleppy clothes. How the hell did you bag Cole freaking Jackson?”

“What, do you want tips or something? I thought you were happy with your marriage and Matt.”

“I am. I mean, mostly. I just…” She sat on the edge of the other bench closer to her and covered her face with her hands to muffle her shrieky groan.

I flinched and took a step back. What the hell was going on? I was the one having the quarter-life crisis here. What was wrong with Aspyn? I thought she was happy with her Stepford life.

She huffed a breath and dropped her hands in her lap. “I’ve always been jealous of you.”

“Say what now?” I laughed. No way was that true.

“I’m serious, December.” Aspyn wiped at the tears suddenly leaking from her eyes. “You didn’t settle down with your first serious boyfriend. You went to college. Dated a few guys. You moved away. You’velived. Meanwhile I’ve been home, cooking dinners and shuttling kids to ballet and baseball practice. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I feel like my whole identity is wrapped up in Matt and the kids. I’m a wife and mom. I’m support. I’m notme.”

I stared at my sister in genuine bafflement. “I had no idea you felt that way.”

“Well, why would you? You’ve been out living your glamorous life—with your fancy schmancy job in San Jose and now living it up with Cole freaking Jackson. You never even called me. Not once. But I heard plenty of what you were up to from Mom and Dad. Always crowing about your slick apartment or that new job offer from the startup that freaking headhunted you. Ithurt.”

I shook my head. We’d never really been close given our age difference, but I had no idea she felt that way. Or was so confused about what my life had been like. “Well, if it helps any, I hated every minute of it up ‘til now.”

“What? No you didn’t.”

“Uh, yes, I did. College was a grind. But once I’d figured out I hated it, I was too far into my major to switch—it would’ve been so expensive and taken too long. Plus I was scared of letting Mom and Dad down. And my slick apartment in San Jose? That was shared with a roommate whose boyfriend skeeved me out. I was afraid to even be alone in my own room if he was there. It was a relief when I got laid off.” I gave her a helpless shrug. “My whole life until now has been an endless grind of expectations and hoop jumping. I never took a breath and tried to figure out what I wanted. I was too focused on what everyone expected.”

“Preach.” Aspyn gave a sad little laugh.

“So don’t you think it’s about time we changed the script? Took some chances?”

She shook her head. “It’s not that easy. I have a husband and three kids that I love more than anything. I can’t walk away from them.”

“I’m not saying you should turn your back on your family. I’m saying maybe it’s time you figured out what is best for Aspyn. Take a class or two at Tahoe Community College. The kids are all in school, right?”

“Yeah.”

“So focus on you. Take some classes. Or maybe you’ve got time for a part-time job if you don’t want to go the school route. You could work at a bank or the school district. Stores. Go back to working at the resort. There’s no end of options for you, Aspyn. You just have to figure out which road you want to take.”

She looked down and shook her head. “I can’t believe you’re being so nice to me. I’ve been such a bitch lately.”

“I’m growing emotionally, apparently.” I gave her an innocent look. “But believe me, I’ve spent a few minutes devising some evil revenge plots. One involved bribing Olly to…you know what? Some things are best left unsaid.”

Aspyn shook her head, laughing. Then after a beat, she sighed and leaned back against the wall. “I take it this means you’re following him? Going on the road with your rock star?”

“I…we were actually talking about that before you guys showed up. He asked me to go with him. I didn’t have an answer for him then, but this conversation really helped clear a few things up for me.” I bit my lip to keep the huge grin at bay.

There really wasn’t any other road to take. Cole was it for me. And even though it scared the begeezus out of me, I had to jump.

“You love him.”

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