Page 37 of This December

After a long moment, Cole laughed softly and said, “I guess I’ll go first. I know I owe you an apology. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how lopsided our relationship was. And that’s not okay.”

I sighed. “I think it started with our first dinner. I talked about me and my life, but every time I tried to get you to open up, you deflected.”

“Right. And I’m sorry. I just…I’ve been so guarded for so long. My default setting is suspicion. In LA, I kinda felt like I was being used—for status, for looks—all that surface bullshit that doesn’t mean shit. And that all came to a head when I was with Danielle Dawson.”

I sucked in a breath when he brought up his uber famous ex. Danielle was famous for being famous. She posted on social media, occasionally did some modeling jobs, but she infamously didn’t have any “conventional” talent.

“I overheard a conversation she was having with her sister, and it made me feel so fucking stupid. I thought I was in a relationship, that I found someone who got me—the real me—but then I heard her bragging about how many followers she’d picked up since we’d gone official. How many likes her last post about us got. How many entertainment news shows were talking about us. She didn’t give a shit aboutme. She just wanted to get more famous, so she could launch her beauty empire.” He shook his head and his lip curled, his disgust plain to see. “So I broke up with her, and I stopped dating. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve hooked up here and there, but there hasn’t been anyone serious in a long time. I’ve built up some walls. Apparently some really thick walls.”

“I still can’t believe you’ve gone fromDanielle Dawsonto me,” I muttered mostly to myself.

But Cole heard me all the same. “You’re worth just as much as fucking Danielle Dawson.More.” Passion rang through his words. “You actually care about people. You show up. You love with your whole goddamn heart. I’ve seen you with your family. Playing with the kids. Teasing your mom. It’s why I fell for you, December. Like I said before, I’m in. I’m all the way in.”

I smiled tremulously. Hearing his naked emotion, the reasons why he loved me, was every-fucking-thing. The room blurred because of the tears in my eyes. “Thank you. But you have to keep opening up to me. Because I love how I feel when I’m around you. But if you keep me separate and stop letting me in, then this won’t work. I want the kind of relationship that my parents have. I’m not interested in being surface with each other. I want a partner, not a pretty dinner date.”

“Same.” He rested his forehead against mine. “But you are goddamn beautiful at dinner, and when you first wake up in the morning, and when you’re swamped in snow gear. Every time I look at you, I can’t believe you’re mine.”

“Same.” My lips quirked as I repeated his vow.

He was laughing as he kissed me, and my heart felt near to bursting with emotion. This man.

Before our kiss could get too heated, he pulled back and murmured, “We should probably get back to your family.”

Nothing cooled passion quicker than picturing my mom walking in on us.

Or worse, one of the kids.

“Right.” I jumped up from the sofa and held my hands out to Cole. “The sooner we get back to them, the sooner they get out. Coz I have plans for you, mister.”

“Oooh, is it a nude drawing? I’ve always wanted to be a nude model.”

“I think that could be arranged…”

* * *

The next few days passed way too fast. We spent Christmas morning together in bed, exchanging smiles, kisses, and orgasms. Then we headed over to my parents’ house for the usual James family Christmas morning insanity. Everyone in pajamas—adults included—for my parents’ presents and Christmas brunch.

The look on Cole’s face when he’d realized my parents had gotten him a present too had made me teary-eyed. He hadn’t expected it, but it’d clearly meant the world to him to be included. And he’d immediately put the ridiculous ear flap hat and warm gloves on and wore them the rest of the morning despite it being crazy warm in the house.

It was cute. And everything.

Cole had started opening up more with me. Telling me about his family. Growing up outside of LA. How he felt when he performed a song he’d written. The intense euphoria when the audience sang his words back to him. How he’d learned how to cook despite being Mr. Rock-Super-Star.

How much he couldn’t wait to introduce me to his parents.

And then two days after Christmas, he dropped a bomb on me. Right before my family was due to arrive for more sledding fun.

Again.

“I leave in two days.”

His words were softly spoken but reverberated around us in the still kitchen. I had been cleaning up our breakfast mess and had just turned off the tap. I stared at the water swirling down the drain. I knew this day was coming—we both did. But I’d been dreading and avoiding the subject every time he’d tried to bring it up. Figured he’d spring it on me when I was on the other side of the room and couldn’t distract him with a kiss or caress.

I nodded sadly. “I kinda figured.” I still couldn’t turn around and face him. “It’s not like we can stay here in this bubble forever.”

Paps were still crawling all over Tahoe, trying to get a picture of us together. It was so bad that Christmas morning my dad had actually cleaned out enough of the garage so we could pull a car in to let Cole enter the house unseen and not cause mayhem.

We hadn’t left Cole’s cabin since.

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