Page 15 of Degraded Terms

“Spawn? Do you know your niece’s name?”

I know my brother is joking, but something prickles inside me at the question. I slate him with an annoyed expression. “Luna. How could I forget when you named her after a giant rock in the sky?”

Ethan laughs. “I missed your sunny personality. I was surprised you wanted to come visit.”

Biting down on my tongue, I try to think of how to articulate the mess in my mind. He watches in a bemused silence before sighing.

“What’s going on? Aren’t you up for tenure soon?”

I am, but I’ve long forgotten about that, nor do I care if I get it anymore. Our parents left us both sizable fortunes after they passed and being a few years older than me, Ethan set up our accounts for investments, making us even more money.

“How’d you know you wanted to stay with Rachel? You didn’t think you’d grow bored eventually?”

Ethan’s eyebrows pinch together, and he glances at the area his wife disappeared into. When he turns back to me, his frown is more pronounced. “I never really worried about growing bored because every moment with her is never enough. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t wish for more time with her.”

My eyes drag over the miscellaneous toys and games thrown about the room. “And don’t you get annoyed with having to share all her time?”

He laughs softly and shrugs. “Kind of. It’s hard to explain. I wish I had more time with her, but I love watching our children grow up as well. I want to share those moments when we see little parts of ourselves in these tiny humans. It’s extraordinary.”

Ethan studies my face and then tilts his head. “Someone finally has your attention? Don’t know how you feel about her?”

I swallow, shifting on the couch. “She’s one of my students.”

“Oh fuck, Asher.” His stern voice has me rolling my eyes, and I wave him off.

“She’s nearly twenty-two. Graduating this year.”

He shakes his head. “That’s still over a decade between you two.”

“And Rachel is nearly seven years younger than you.”

We stare at each other before he shakes his head again. “You’ll do whatever you want. You always have.”

I hate the disappointment in his voice, so I crack my neck side to side. “I think she’ll want the fairytale type of romance, and that’s not me. It never will be.”

Something flickers in his face, but he glances away from me. “Has she said she wants that?”

I don’t want to tell him about our arrangement, knowing he won’t approve, but he’s the only person who understands me better than myself.

“No, but I can see where it’s headed. Right now we’re more…exploring the physical side of our chemistry. We have a mutually beneficial arrangement.”

Ethan barks out a laugh. “You have a friends-with-benefits situation with one of your students?”

I glare at him, not appreciating the term. It diminishes what’s actually happening between Ava and me. Then there’s the ironic fact that I haven’t exactly fucked her yet.

“It’s not…” I struggle to find a word that describes exactly what we are, but every one comes up short. She’s always been more since I laid eyes on her last year. She invaded all of my senses and my life from that moment.

I sit up straighter. “It’s not that.”

Ethan smirks. “Such a way with words, Professor.”

Pushing his shoulder, I roll my eyes and sigh. “I fear she’s going to want more soon, even though she initially agreed to this setup.”

“And you don’t want that?”

“I don’t know. She’s always been a fascination, a reality I never thought I could have. But is that all? How do I know I want more than that?”

My brother nods, then looks at me with a goofy smile. “The way you’re questioning? That tells you everything. If she didn’t matter, you wouldn’t care.”

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