Page 6 of Fervor

“Okay.”

I ended the call and called Doctor King. Normally, I would have called G, but I knew after having a new baby in the house, she needed her rest. They’d been home for a couple of days now, and Gentry was enjoying every moment with his baby girl. I found Doctor King’s number and called.

“Hello? Yunique? Are you okay?”

I smiled slightly at her concern. “Hey, Doctor King. At the insistence of Joel, I’m calling you. I had a dream tonight, andsomehow, he sensed I was having a hard time. It sent me into a panic attack and night sweats.”

She mostly called Vegas by his birth name, which was Joel. She hated that street shit, too, but she loved the hell out of her baby. I could hear her take a deep breath. “You wanna talk now, or did you want to schedule an appointment?”

“It’s late. I just want to try to go back to sleep. Vegas said you were awake, and that’s why I called.”

“You wanna come in tomorrow, since you don’t work on Fridays?”

“Yes, please. Can I come early? Do you have any appointments?”

“I’m free as a bird tomorrow. Is nine early enough?”

“Yes, ma’am. See you at nine. Thank you again.”

“Anytime, Yunique.”

I ended the call then went to take a shower. The thought that plagued me was that a thug ass nigga like Vegas was able to calm me down. I slowly shook my head. My qualms shouldn’t be with men that happened to be street pharmacists at one time. They should be with perverted ass muthafuckas like Mo, who molested my sister. I had to get this under control before my appointment with Arranged Hearts next week.

Monday couldn’t get here fast enough. I was starting to hate being alone all the time. I’d been alone for twenty-two years, ever since I moved out here. Although I’d had boyfriends and dated, there hadn’t been a serious relationship of any kind. At the first sign of trouble, I dropped their asses, no questions asked. That said a lot. That meant they weren’t for me if I could drop them so easily.

I got into the shower, hoping I would be able to wash up and move to the other side of the bed to start over. There was no way I would change sheets and Lysol my mattress tonight. If I did all that, I would be awake for longer than I intended to be. It wasbad enough I had to take a shower. I was literally soaked, like someone had thrown a bucket of water on me.

Yeah, I have to get this together.I let the water soak me as I mulled over the questions I would ask Doctor King tomorrow. There was no way I would be able to function in a relationship if I couldn’t function alone. Everyone had their own issues and nuances. I wouldn’t be able to deal with whatever having a spouse brought if I had too much already on my plate. This shit with my past was threatening to take me out. Maybe I would need medication after all.

“Think about what happened yesterday. Even things you don’t think matter. Something subtle could have triggered it.”

I was sitting across from Doctor King, trying to recall the occurrences of the day before. I barely slept last night, and I wasn’t sure how I would enjoy a night out on the town with my family if I was so drained I could barely keep my eyes open. After my shower, I stared at the ceiling for what felt like hours. I remembered seeing four a.m. on my clock before I finally fell asleep. So, eight a.m. seemed to come quicker than normal.

“Well, when I woke up, I ate some oatmeal and fruit. I stopped at Starbucks on my way to work and got a latte. I had a couple of patients, one getting a filling.” My eyes drifted to the ceiling as I thought. “I had a new patient… Shit. That’s it.”

Doctor King frowned. “Your new patient triggered you?”

“Yes, but I didn’t realize it until now. He flirted with me, and honestly, I’m extremely attracted to him. The man was gorgeous. He had to be at least six four, had amazing, medium brown skin, a majestic-looking beard, and a swag that screamed street nigga.That was what did it. I’m attracted to a man that was in the streets. I can tell without even speaking to him about it. He could still be in the streets for all I know. And what made it worse was that he had a Houston type accent. I’m willing to bet he’s from H-Tine. The craziest part is that there was something familiar about him.”

“Well, if he’s from Houston, do you think you’ve probably crossed paths with him at some point?”

“It’s possible, but I usually don’t forget a face, no matter how much it has evolved. Like, Vegas and Jungle… I couldn’t forget their faces if I tried. I hadn’t seen him in twenty years, and I knew exactly who he was at first sight.”

“You know what I find interesting?”

“What’s that?”

“Vegas doesn’t trigger you. He’s every bit of what you just described this man to be. Has he ever triggered you?”

“No, he hasn’t. I was uncomfortable around him but not triggered. It’s weird. Mister Moore was somewhat aggressive, but I could tell he was practicing restraint. It was like he wanted to say more than what he did. When he bumped into me and kept me from falling, I could have melted in his arms.”

I slid my hand down my face. This was so confusing. How could a man that triggered me make me feel that way at the same time? I looked up at Doctor King to find her staring at me sympathetically. Her eyebrows were slightly lifted and scrunched together. There really wasn’t anything she could tell me that she hadn’t already told me.

“Yunique, have you totally released the past? That’s the only thing I can think of that would have caused this. You already knew Vegas from school, so maybe this happened because he’s a stranger. Your body is rejecting your mental by being attracted to him. Your subconscious is telling you to stay away from him by associating him with your trauma. One day, you are going tohave to face your fears, and this man may be just the one to help you do that.”

The smirk on her lips made me smile slightly. “Well, I won’t have to see him for another six months. Hopefully, these dreams will stop. He was so fine though.”

She chuckled. “You should have gotten his phone number.”

---