Page 17 of Fervor

“I know you do, and I totally get it. Wild out for once, because your ass is always so cautious. You have Houston’s finest watching your back, so you’ll be fine.”

I gave her a one-sided smile as I heard the back door open and close. I was pretty sure that was Gentry. He’d gone to the store to get something to cook for dinner, since Doctor King had the kids. Clayton’s bitch ass was out of town on a business trip, and Gentry’s parents were visiting his brother in Texas. I still hadn’t had a chance to talk to her about what I thought happened to Clayton, but eventually, I would.

Sure enough, Gentry walked into the room, barely speaking to either of us, and scooped his baby girl out of Giselle’s arms. She chuckled as I smiled.One day soon…

“Nique-Nique, what’s wrong?” Keke asked, referring to my childhood nickname.

As adults, whenever she called me that, she was trying to appeal to my sensitivity. She could tell I was in my feelings big time. We’d been at the club for an hour, and I had already consumed three shots and a mixed drink. I still didn’t feel tipsy, but I knew it would catch up with me and hit me suddenly. I was usually pretty good at holding my liquor, but tonight, I almost didn’t care. I just wanted to forget the phone call from earlier.

While what Giselle said was true, about this not being my fault, I still felt a sense of sorrow. What if this wasn’t for me and this was God’s way of telling me so? I just wished I knew His plans for me. I didn’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. I was a good person, and I did my best to treat people right. What was wrong with me?

I made mistakes and bad decisions, as did everyone else, but why did I seem to be the only one suffering? Everyone I spent time with was married or engaged, even my employees. Whenever flowers or gifts were delivered to the office, I always felt a tinge of jealousy, wishing I could have that experience.

Instead of going home to take a nap, I ended up at Doctor King’s house, spilling my guts. Although I had spoken to Giselle, I just needed reassurance. Even still, I couldn’t seem to get out of the funk I was in. Thinking about happy moments in my life always included someone else, except when I graduated fromschool. I had no real successes outside of my career, and I hated that.

Glancing at Keke, I took a deep breath and decided to just tell her. “The man I was supposed to marry changed his mind. I don’t have a match anymore.”

Her eyes widened slightly as she grabbed my hand. “Did they say why?”

“Yeah. His family was giving him a hard time about the decision he made. He said no woman deserved to endure what his family could possibly put her through.”

She gave me a sympathetic smile. “Sis! It’s gonna work out, but I can see how that would be disappointing. It’s like, you were about to orgasm from oral and the nigga abandoned your clit. I get it.”

I frowned at her, and she fell out laughing. She made me sick. I chuckled and slowly shook my head. It had been so long since a man had sucked on my clit that I’d probably forgotten just how pleasurable that shit was. The rose had been my best friend for the past few years. I’d probably desensitized every nerve on the shit. I wouldn’t know how to behave if a man took me to ecstasy. My consciousness would probably drain right out of me with my cum.

Keke patted my leg as Vegas approached us. “Come on! Let’s dance. Stop overthinking that shit.”

I nodded and stood. When I did, Vegas smiled. “You good, sis?”

“Yeah, I’m cool,” I said as I stumbled slightly.

He chuckled. “You cool alright. Yo’ ass was about to hit that floor. I can’t carry youandKee out this bitch.”

I chuckled and began grooving to Glorilla’s joint with T-Pain, “I LUV HER.” I loved this woman. Out of the newer female rappers, she and Meg were two of my favorites. As I rolled my body, Keke hollered, “Do that shit, Nique!”

I smiled big. She was always my damn sidekick. She knew how to hype me up whenever we were together. I watched her bend over and clap her ass cheeks, then emulated her. We were laughing so loud once we stood up straight. I hadn’t danced this provocatively in a long time. I’d forgotten just how fun it was. My dancing was filled with AKA step routines it seemed. Keke stood behind me and wrapped her arms around me and laid her head on the back of my shoulder.

I was a couple of inches taller than her. When she lifted her head and started smacking my ass in the bodycon dress I wore, I giggled. That only made me work that shit harder. I could see Vegas in my peripheral shaking his head at our antics. Keke was coaxing my H-Tine ratchet right out of me, and I wasn’t mad about it. Honestly, I missed this side of me.

The barmaid brought me another drink, so I stopped dancing for a moment and headed back to where I was seated to take off my heels. There was no way I would be getting fucked up and trying to walk in four-inch heels. I would bust my ass for sure. Once I rejoined Keke, she laughed and said, “Aww yeah, Nique! Them dranks got yo’ ass feelingright!”

I laughed and started dancing again. I could feel the perspiration accumulating in my cleavage, and I didn’t even care. My hair was gonna shrink even more from the moisture on my scalp, but once again, I didn’t care about that either. I just wanted to be free to have a good time without worrying about small shit.

I slowed my moves to take a sip of my drink, but my eyes met with a familiar pair. It was Harlem.Damn.What was he doing here again? I tried ignoring him. He left last time without a word. Although I knew I had rejected him, I halfway expected him to say bye, that he would see me around, something. I’d gone to dance with Alexz, and when I returned to my seat, he was gone.

He shook hands with Vegas, then Jungle, then sat next to Jungle. I turned away as I cleared my throat, then gulped my drink.

“Damn, Nique! Why you guzzling that shit like that?”

I turned to see Chelsea, Jungle’s wife, looking like she would fall over any minute. I chuckled and shook my head. “I wanted to be done with it.”

I set the glass on the table closest to me then went back to dancing with Keke. When “Drunk Off You” by Moneybagg Yo blared through the speakers, Vegas stood and made his way to us. He circled his arms around Keke, leaving me standing here by myself. Jungle had done the same with Chelsea. Suddenly, I was back to feeling alone and undesirable.

I went to my seat, although I loved this song. The barmaid glanced at me then made her way to the bar to get another drink for me. When she came back with another margarita, I asked for a shot of tequila. As I drank it down, someone sat next to me. I turned to see Harlem staring at me. “How you doing, Doctor Mott?”

“I’m good. What about you?”

He frowned slightly. My speech had slurred a bit. I was on my way to being fucked up. The barmaid returned with my shot, and I downed that shit like it was nothing. I turned to him, waiting for his response. “I’m cool.”

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