Page 48 of Botched

His touch feels good, I can feel his hand pushing up the edge of my dress, calloused fingers dragging over my ass cheek. Swallowing that down, I set my gaze on him, hoping he sees how damn annoyed I am with him. “Wasn’t a request, Theodore,” I hiss, resorting to his full name.

“I didn’t take it as one, Aurora.”

He’s being the real Theo today, which essentially means he’s back to being a world-class asshole. Not that he’s ever really stopped.

He pulls me closer, and I’m not even sure the rest of the room has cleared out yet. He’s the only person I see.

Does he not understand how badly I want to give in to him? He brings his other hand up, running the back of his knuckles along my jaw, our gaze locked.

But I can’t.

He’s going to break me if I let him in, and a part of mewantsto be broken by him.

Love is not something that I’ve ever allowed myself to take a chance on. It’s come second to my career—the career that I’m not even sure that I have because this isn’t an official contract. I’m just here until they no longer have a use for me. That use depends on Theo.

I believe in love. I’m not that cynical. I’m not sure if love is a fairytale or a happy-ever-after. My ex was an asshole who didn’t understand how important wrestling was to me. Why I picked doingindie shows in breweries and fairgrounds over date nights with him. I wasn’t the best partner either.

Since I haven’t pushed him away yet, Theo runs his thumb over my bottom lip before gently pushing it inside of my mouth.

For a moment, I let myself melt into the moment. I suck on the tip of his thumb and watch as his eyes get that hazy look to them.

When he pulls his thumb out of my mouth, he brings it to his own mouth and licks the tip, maintaining eye contact.

My core tightens.

Sense comes washing over me again. Stubbornness or resolve, although I’m not sure there’s too much of a difference now.

“Stop,” I hiss, breaking eye contact. The blankness of the tile wall across from me is so much easier to look at than looking into his eyes. “Stop with all of this, Theo.”

His gaze narrows, the formerly dazed look fading away. “Why, Aurora? Because you’re scared? Because now you can’t stop thinking about me and that scares you?”

He brings up the fear again—the fear that I feel deep in the heart of me that is holding me back from everything. The fear is holding me back. It’s not the same nervousness I feel before I leap from the top turnbuckle and pray gravity doesn’t hate me for a few seconds. It’s not the anxiety that hits before I step out in front of a crowd that thinks I’m a backstabbing traitor. It’s not even the same fear that a thunderstorm evokes in me.

It’s this deep fear that I can’t move past. It freezes me in place. It only washes to the surface when Theo is involved.

I jerk myself from his grip, getting to my feet. He’s right and it’s so goddamn frustrating. He sees through me like glass. That’s exactly how I feel around him—like I’m made of glass. See-through. Breakable. “Because we both know how this ends. I’m not doing that to myself.”

Theo stands too, but he doesn’t approach me. He stays standing in front of the chair, gaze fixed on me. “This song and dance again,Roo? Are you going to enlighten me about how much of a bastard I am? How I’m going to break your little heart and steal the sparkle from your eyes?” His tone is almost mocking, and that sets a white-hot anger in me. “I don’t know what else you expect from me. I’m not going to become some fucking prince charming overnight. That’s not who I am.”

“I don’t…” I don’t even know how to finish that sentence. I don’t know who Theo is. Every time I think I have him figured out, another layer is pulled back or a wall is reconstructed. Is he a monster? Is he some tortured hero who puts up a wall to protect himself?

He points a finger at me. “Don’t. Don’t act like you don’t know who I am, Aurora. I have showed you time and time again.”

“You’ve been acting for the past month!” I finally shout back.

He takes a step toward me, causing me to back up into the wall. My heart hammers in my chest, and it’s not fear that I feel anymore. It’s arousal, memories of the last time Theo had me up against a wall play in repeat in my mind.

“Have I? Right, because I can’t be nice. I’ve only been nice because I want to get in your pants, yeah? I could have been banging other girls every goddamn night. And we’ve already fucked, in case you forgot. If this was just sex for me, I could’ve just moved on. But I can’t.” His hand slams into the wall above my head, making me jump slightly.

I’m enclosed, his body so close to me that I can feel his body heat.

“I can’t get you out of my fucking head. This has never been ‘just sex’ for me, even when I thought it was. I want to take you places. I want to be close to you. I got you a fucking job. I mean, whodoesthat?”

I can’t wrap my mind around anything that Theo just said, because my brain grabs onto one point and holds on to it. “You got me a job?” I whisper the words back to him.

It feels like my entire world is spiraling in that moment. I thought Nathan called me because he thought I was talented. But this makes more sense, doesn’t it? Nathan calling me up after my run-in with Theo wasn’t just fate being weird.

Theo’s hands are all over my life, sculpting it into what he sees fit. Being helpful when I never asked for his help. Twisting the pieces so he can easily slot himself in.

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